Quote from: Brandon on September 03, 2013, 09:26:50 PM
No offence but that didn't help

Are you actually asking for help?  Nobody can give you what you want (to be born male).  It is not possible.  So what are you asking for here?

Sounds like you're venting which is cool. But I'm sure it hurts. But  once you get on T, size doesn't really matter. There are a lot of really short cisguys. I pass much of the time, and I was on a very low dose for a couple months-- meaning I have been on full dose T for about 4 months. Eventually most guys on T do pass. There are exceptions here and there, but to me (if that is your face) you already look as if you pass some of the time. Lots of guys end up dating straight or bi girls.

Getting your education and making money will help you in your transition and in your life in general of course.


--Jay

Quote from: aleon515 on September 03, 2013, 09:43:18 PM
Sounds like you're venting which is cool. But I'm sure it hurts. But  once you get on T, size doesn't really matter. There are a lot of really short cisguys. I pass much of the time, and I was on a very low dose for a couple months-- meaning I have been on full dose T for about 4 months. Eventually most guys on T do pass. There are exceptions here and there, but to me (if that is your face) you already look as if you pass some of the time. Lots of guys end up dating straight or bi girls.

Getting your education and making money will help you in your transition and in your life in general of course.


--Jay

Yea, But its still hard to manage dysphoria its hard not to focus on it

I'm never offended by people rejecting my advice, but you'd do better to focus on the things you can have (a life full of success) rather than hold on to the fact that you're short. If that's not helpful, then that's not my problem.

Quote from: randomroads on September 03, 2013, 10:55:38 PM
I'm never offended by people rejecting my advice, but you'd do better to focus on the things you can have (a life full of success) rather than hold on to the fact that you're short. If that's not helpful, then that's not my problem.

You obviously didnt read the whole thing, You missed my whole point, Nice help

Dude. i'm in the same situation as you, everyone thinks I'm 10-12 and that I don't belong in high school. I've managed to keep up a short-term relationship with a cisgirl, but then things turned ugly because my friend tried to help me out and make her stop being so clingy by saying I dated a guy. I went with the whole thing because I wanted to feel normal, knowing that I wasn't going to let it progress no matter what, and hated being selfish and not telling her. It hurts whether you do or you don't with cisgirls who know nothing of trans issues- unless they're accepting and willing to overlook your parts, then you either have a weirded-out girl who makes you feel awful or the guilt of not being able to tell her or do something with her if you wanted to eats at you. It all eats at you- if you let it.

You don't have to let it. Dysphoria is a nagging b*tch but you can actually tune it out, you're taking a defeatist approach to the whole thing. Venting is cool, but it's only helpful if you work on changing what you can to decrease the negative in your life as much as possible. Everybody vents once in a while, but then they move on. Me? I've come to deal with the "OMG YOU'RE A SENIOR?! BUT YOU'RE SO TINY!!!11" comments because it isn't worth my time worrying about it. I've got bigger issues, maybe not everybody deals with their joints being ripped apart on the inside but it puts things into perspective for me. The damage being done is permanent; the dysphoria I feel right now is temporary. So is yours. One day you're going to look yourself in the mirror and be okay, so long as you don't let it get to your head now. We're here for you, man.

By the way, I know how it is with the parents. My mom screams at me all the time and has breakdowns over the tiniest trans-related thing because she can't comprehend me being a "freak" and thinks I'm just confused and a lesbian. My dad is horrible and makes fun of me about it all the time, and I don't even see the rest of my family but they wouldn't support me either. There's no adult for me to turn to who will lend an ear or offer advice. That's why I come here, where people don't act like jerks to me and tell me that presenting as a boy is "false advertisement". You want change in your life? Take it for yourself. Tell people, one by one, to call you Brandon and use male pronouns. Get some support- students, teachers, staff, whoever will listen and accept you. Once someone enforces it, others will follow suit, and if anyone decides to be dumb and go against it that's their problem. You have an issue, you take it to someone in the school who can resolve it. Your mom doesn't have to agree with it, but if you can, give her reading material to try and help her understand at the very least what you're going through.

Best of luck. I haven't gone back to school yet, but when I do I'm going to try being out or stealth with teachers. I'm terrified of the thought but in the end, it's my right to be who I am, and the same holds for you. Only good thing about waiting is that it means science develops more, and while the phallus that we can have created isn't perfect, it's pretty close. Who knows, maybe in our lifetime they'll come up with a way to create one that "works" without needing a pump and all. But yeah, try to find anything you can to take your mind off of what you don't have. I find that it helps to go along with people's assumptions and play the part of little kid. I don't even "feel" trans anymore because I've settled into a niche of being stealth, and I'm pre-T too. It's definitely doable if you play your cards right.

I understand about the no girlfriend thing and the looking like you're 12 thing. I've only had one serious girlfriend and she is straight and saw me as a man but it didn't sound right to me and because I don't accept myself, I suppose it kind of put a little stress on my relationship. She accepted me but I didn't and don't truly accept myself and I personally don't feel any ounce of happiness unless I'm in a relationship or I'm drunk so I understand why you want a girlfriend, I think. I'm 19 years old and every time I smoke a cigarette, people give me weird looks and I've had people come up to me and say "You're too young to smoke!" and I just got my ID and I get so nervous buying cigarettes that the cashier gives me weird looks, like it's a fake ID, because I act so nervous and then they look at me like I'm on something when they scan my ID and see that it's real, they look at me like "Why are you acting so odd and why is your hand shaking" I'm afraid the cashier will refuse to sell me cigarettes and say something to me and it scares me to death because I don't like conflict of any kind. And trust me, I'm very picky when it comes to thinking of my future girlfriend, my standards are so high that I don't think anyone could possibly ever meet them and if they did meet them then they wouldn't want someone like me, I don't mean because I'm Trans, I mean that I won't have anything to give them, if they wanted a pop from the pop machine I wouldn't be able to give them a dollar for it and I'm too clingy and possessive. I also understand about high school but in high school, I had two best friends. I actually decided to get back in touch with one of them today and he came over to hang out. He was a labeled a loser and a nerd because he's obsessed with technology and people used to put tampons on his back and the other boys would hit him in middle school. The other friend I had was a redneck and he's honestly the best friend I've ever had, his mother told him that I was a girl not a boy and he ended up getting in a fight with her and storming out of his house, he moved to Virginia though. So, if you want friends who are guys then you need to think about what type of guys you are trying to be friends with, you don't want to hang out with people who you have nothing in common with. Don't aim for popularity, just aim for a friend and who knows, that friend could introduce you to a bunch of other people and then you'll have a lot of friends. And yes, it caused me major dysphoria when I walked past a tall guy and gym class was a nightmare because I became envious when I saw all the guys going into the boys locker room, I hate locker rooms but the fact that they were able to use the guys locker room is what got to me.

Quote from: Mosnar_K on September 04, 2013, 02:27:41 AM
I understand about the no girlfriend thing and the looking like you're 12 thing. I've only had one serious girlfriend and she is straight and saw me as a man but it didn't sound right to me and because I don't accept myself, I suppose it kind of put a little stress on my relationship. She accepted me but I didn't and don't truly accept myself and I personally don't feel any ounce of happiness unless I'm in a relationship or I'm drunk so I understand why you want a girlfriend, I think. I'm 19 years old and every time I smoke a cigarette, people give me weird looks and I've had people come up to me and say "You're too young to smoke!" and I just got my ID and I get so nervous buying cigarettes that the cashier gives me weird looks, like it's a fake ID, because I act so nervous and then they look at me like I'm on something when they scan my ID and see that it's real, they look at me like "Why are you acting so odd and why is your hand shaking" I'm afraid the cashier will refuse to sell me cigarettes and say something to me and it scares me to death because I don't like conflict of any kind. And trust me, I'm very picky when it comes to thinking of my future girlfriend, my standards are so high that I don't think anyone could possibly ever meet them and if they did meet them then they wouldn't want someone like me, I don't mean because I'm Trans, I mean that I won't have anything to give them, if they wanted a pop from the pop machine I wouldn't be able to give them a dollar for it and I'm too clingy and possessive. I also understand about high school but in high school, I had two best friends. I actually decided to get back in touch with one of them today and he came over to hang out. He was a labeled a loser and a nerd because he's obsessed with technology and people used to put tampons on his back and the other boys would hit him in middle school. The other friend I had was a redneck and he's honestly the best friend I've ever had, his mother told him that I was a girl not a boy and he ended up getting in a fight with her and storming out of his house, he moved to Virginia though. So, if you want friends who are guys then you need to think about what type of guys you are trying to be friends with, you don't want to hang out with people who you have nothing in common with. Don't aim for popularity, just aim for a friend and who knows, that friend could introduce you to a bunch of other people and then you'll have a lot of friends. And yes, it caused me major dysphoria when I walked past a tall guy and gym class was a nightmare because I became envious when I saw all the guys going into the boys locker room, I hate locker rooms but the fact that they were able to use the guys locker room is what got to me.

Well as far as aiming for popular I don't just aim for it but thats mostly the people I talk to,  Even if I was born with the right parts that would be who I talk to the most Im a cool person

Okay. If you get along with that group of people and they share your interests then go for it.

Quote from: Mosnar_K on September 05, 2013, 12:10:31 AM
Okay. If you get along with that group of people and they share your interests then go for it.

Okay

Quote from: Liminal Stranger on September 04, 2013, 12:59:21 AM
Dude. i'm in the same situation as you, everyone thinks I'm 10-12 and that I don't belong in high school. I've managed to keep up a short-term relationship with a cisgirl, but then things turned ugly because my friend tried to help me out and make her stop being so clingy by saying I dated a guy. I went with the whole thing because I wanted to feel normal, knowing that I wasn't going to let it progress no matter what, and hated being selfish and not telling her. It hurts whether you do or you don't with cisgirls who know nothing of trans issues- unless they're accepting and willing to overlook your parts, then you either have a weirded-out girl who makes you feel awful or the guilt of not being able to tell her or do something with her if you wanted to eats at you. It all eats at you- if you let it.

You don't have to let it. Dysphoria is a nagging b*tch but you can actually tune it out, you're taking a defeatist approach to the whole thing. Venting is cool, but it's only helpful if you work on changing what you can to decrease the negative in your life as much as possible. Everybody vents once in a while, but then they move on. Me? I've come to deal with the "OMG YOU'RE A SENIOR?! BUT YOU'RE SO TINY!!!11" comments because it isn't worth my time worrying about it. I've got bigger issues, maybe not everybody deals with their joints being ripped apart on the inside but it puts things into perspective for me. The damage being done is permanent; the dysphoria I feel right now is temporary. So is yours. One day you're going to look yourself in the mirror and be okay, so long as you don't let it get to your head now. We're here for you, man.

By the way, I know how it is with the parents. My mom screams at me all the time and has breakdowns over the tiniest trans-related thing because she can't comprehend me being a "freak" and thinks I'm just confused and a lesbian. My dad is horrible and makes fun of me about it all the time, and I don't even see the rest of my family but they wouldn't support me either. There's no adult for me to turn to who will lend an ear or offer advice. That's why I come here, where people don't act like jerks to me and tell me that presenting as a boy is "false advertisement". You want change in your life? Take it for yourself. Tell people, one by one, to call you Brandon and use male pronouns. Get some support- students, teachers, staff, whoever will listen and accept you. Once someone enforces it, others will follow suit, and if anyone decides to be dumb and go against it that's their problem. You have an issue, you take it to someone in the school who can resolve it. Your mom doesn't have to agree with it, but if you can, give her reading material to try and help her understand at the very least what you're going through.

Best of luck. I haven't gone back to school yet, but when I do I'm going to try being out or stealth with teachers. I'm terrified of the thought but in the end, it's my right to be who I am, and the same holds for you. Only good thing about waiting is that it means science develops more, and while the phallus that we can have created isn't perfect, it's pretty close. Who knows, maybe in our lifetime they'll come up with a way to create one that "works" without needing a pump and all. But yeah, try to find anything you can to take your mind off of what you don't have. I find that it helps to go along with people's assumptions and play the part of little kid. I don't even "feel" trans anymore because I've settled into a niche of being stealth, and I'm pre-T too. It's definitely doable if you play your cards right.

It's hard to think positive when you have had negative thrown at you, Its like I've been called ugly all my life to the point were if a girl does call me cute I don't believe it because its been put n my head that I'm ugly, I can't just stop being dysphoric, Especially when I'm at school everyone has different levels of dysphoria mine is probally worse that's what I'm trying to explain to you guys

Quote from: Brandon on September 06, 2013, 05:47:08 PM
It's hard to think positive when you have had negative thrown at you, Its like I've been called ugly all my life to the point were if a girl does call me cute I don't believe it because its been put n my head that I'm ugly, I can't just stop being dysphoric, Especially when I'm at school everyone has different levels of dysphoria mine is probally worse that's what I'm trying to explain to you guys

We all know that levels of dysphoria vary, but I doubt yours is worse than what other people here have experienced at some point in their lives. People have killed themselves from dysphoria. So, you're not alone in feeling awful about how you look and how society treats you. Most of us here have been in your shoes at some point.

I understand it's hard to think positively, it's not something that comes quickly overnight. To me, being positive and being happy and accepting myself is an exercise that I need to work at every day. It took me a long time to realize that happiness and self-acceptance isn't something that comes naturally to me (or most people). It'll take you time to figure that out as well. You'll discover over time ways to make yourself feel better, to ignore and forget critical/mean things people say to you, and to live your life the way that you're meant to. I have negatives thrown at me everyday, but I've found ways to not let it bother me, and so will you if you give life a shot.