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Long Night

Started by ComplicatedMe, September 01, 2013, 04:17:45 PM

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monica93304

I feel for you girl.  As other have stated, we've all been there.  It's not pleasant.  I'm lucky that I don't really hang out with anybody that doesn't know.  So my circle of friends is small. I have lots of aquaintances that know and respect me. 

Find your groove, find those people that are understanding and that welcome you with open arms.  I don't hang out with people that at the drop of a hat wouldn't care if something happened to me, or if I needed help.

I don't have any blood family in the US, so it does get lonely, but I stay focused on my goals of womanhood.

Sorry if this was vague, but I just wanted to convey to you that things will be alright. 

Monica.
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A

Best advice I can give you is, don't try to fit in. Even before transitioning, once I stopped, I felt heaps better. If you don't find the jokes funny, don't laugh, or just politely smile. Act yourself, simply. People will stop seeing you as a "real guy", and as thus will stop expecting "real guy" stuff from you. And as a bonus, people will accept you better if/when you come out and transition.

Honestly I went to school this term as a girl for the first time this term, did the announcement to everyone, and poof, it was done. I'm happier, and honestly people haven't had trouble adapting to me at all. For real. No questions, no awkwardness, everything is just as before, possibly better.

I think transitioning actually made things easier on them, because I think I was a bit beyond the normal limit for a girly guy. One of my teammates for the project who I'd known for the whole two years (like almost every classmate - it's not a big program), last spring, before I came out, accidentally called me she like 3 times, and a teacher did it once too.

And the biggest problems I ever got with being a "girly guy" was maybe four occasions where people whispered about me, debating my gender, and once, it was like "People don't care about you being different. See that one for example. It's actually a guy." - "Oh, I see."

Really, unless you live in some really weird environment where people throw rocks at boyish girls and girly boys (or are above maybe 40, which is the age when adults start having that excessive confidence that basically freezes their beliefs and makes them strict, sometimes in the way they were raised several decades ago), there's absolutely no point in not being yourself.
A's Transition Journal
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RosieD

Yep, that's right A. Adults get to 40, their brains freeze right over and they become completely unable to adapt.

Jeez...kids these days!
Well that was fun! What's next?
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KabitTarah

Quote from: H, H, H, Honeypot! on September 05, 2013, 05:32:08 PM
Yep, that's right A. Adults get to 40, their brains freeze right over and they become completely unable to adapt.

Jeez...kids these days!

LOL... Truth.

Really, it's the person. There is evidence that you are less able to change with age, but some people are able to change more at 40+ than certain other 20 year olds.

Always be open minded!!
~ Tarah ~

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A

It's not an absolute fact, but I'm pretty sure everyone I can think of who has overconfidence and open-mindedness problems is above 40. I really do think that past a certain age, several adults are going to gain the confidence that they can take care of themselves, that they have a career, that they've raised children, that they've had enough experiences to always vastly prioritize their opinions and reasonings over others'. But in most cases, younger people are going to listen and consider the possibility that they might be wrong before arguing, which so few older people do.

At a certain point, in way too many cases, age becomes an argument of authority in and of itself, no matter how nonsensical. There are more extreme cases, like my mother, who'll go affirming unscientific nonsense and refusing any refutation "because I'm 49 and you're not gonna be teaching me stuff now", even though she's a secretary with little interest in science whose high school science classes are very far behind, but in many, many cases, resistance to the fact of being wrong becomes much higher than before. They are more experienced therefore they are probably right.
A's Transition Journal
Last update: June 11th, 2012
No more updates
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JoanneB

Feeling emotional is a sign that you are finally allowing yourself to have real feelings and just those feelings that you are supposed to have as a guy.
.          (Pile Driver)  
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                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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