In the very beginning (I started at 17 and am almost 32 now) I had some jealousy issues but it's normal for people to feel that way when they see someone else living the life they want. Now with a bit of age on me I don't get jealous at all. I tend to think "well, good for him" and I see every medical transition as a success for our community.

As far as family, yeah that is a tough situation to be in. Took a lot of years for me to gain acceptance from anyone and even now it's few and far between, but that is ok. Everyone has their own opinions and life to live. I'd rather people be honest with me than to fake acceptance just to whisper amongst themselves behind my back.

Relationships are tough. February will be 10 years with my current girlfriend and we're planning on getting wed. There have been a lot of trials in that decade. There are plenty of times I wish I would have remained single and focused on myself before getting into a serious relationship with anyone. Transition takes a toll on both parties involved. Medical transition can be a very selfish time when someone is focusing on themselves so much that everyone else ends up being neglected. It's not intentional but it happens. If I had it to do over again I would have put myself first and then focused on love later. Just because a transguy is in a relationship doesn't mean they're better off at the time.

Quote from: Si on September 09, 2013, 04:26:45 PM
In the very beginning (I started at 17 and am almost 32 now) I had some jealousy issues but it's normal for people to feel that way when they see someone else living the life they want. Now with a bit of age on me I don't get jealous at all. I tend to think "well, good for him" and I see every medical transition as a success for our community.

As far as family, yeah that is a tough situation to be in. Took a lot of years for me to gain acceptance from anyone and even now it's few and far between, but that is ok. Everyone has their own opinions and life to live. I'd rather people be honest with me than to fake acceptance just to whisper amongst themselves behind my back.

Relationships are tough. February will be 10 years with my current girlfriend and we're planning on getting wed. There have been a lot of trials in that decade. There are plenty of times I wish I would have remained single and focused on myself before getting into a serious relationship with anyone. Transition takes a toll on both parties involved. Medical transition can be a very selfish time when someone is focusing on themselves so much that everyone else ends up being neglected. It's not intentional but it happens. If I had it to do over again I would have put myself first and then focused on love later. Just because a transguy is in a relationship doesn't mean they're better off at the time.

I didn't say that, But again I have 0 support, And If a girl fell madly lin lov with me Im pretty sure sh would support me rather than friends who really don't care about you

Quote from: Brandon on September 09, 2013, 04:30:51 PM

I didn't say that, But again I have 0 support, And If a girl fell madly lin lov with me Im pretty sure sh would support me rather than friends who really don't care about you

You ask for opinions and how other people feel. That is what I stated...MY opinions and life experiences. Your own mileage may vary.

Being in love is a complicated emotion. Over the span of a long term relationship emotions tend to go up and down. Medical transition can put a strain on even the best of relationships, regardless if the partner supports the one transitioning or not. That is all I was saying.

Quote from: Si on September 09, 2013, 04:41:23 PM
You ask for opinions and how other people feel. That is what I stated...MY opinions and life experiences. Your own mileage may vary.

Being in love is a complicated emotion. Over the span of a long term relationship emotions tend to go up and down. Medical transition can put a strain on even the best of relationships, regardless if the partner supports the one transitioning or not. That is all I was saying.

I agree this Is why alot of times I feel like I will never find a woman because all the transitioning and surgery

Quote from: Brandon on September 09, 2013, 04:44:31 PM

I agree this Is why alot of times I feel like I will never find a woman because all the transitioning and surgery

You will, it just takes time. I have an uncle who was in his 40's before he found his wife, wed, and had kids. It was good for him in the end though because he didn't settle for just anyone. A lot of people grasp onto anyone who will have them when they're young and end up miserable when they're older. That is why it's good to take your time at relationships.

I'm not trying to demean you when I say you're young, it's just a fact. As much as you're jealous of guys who are medically transitioning, I can say I have a tinge of envy because of your youth. You have your whole life ahead of you with unlimited possibilities. 

Quote from: Si on September 09, 2013, 05:21:36 PM
You will, it just takes time. I have an uncle who was in his 40's before he found his wife, wed, and had kids. It was good for him in the end though because he didn't settle for just anyone. A lot of people grasp onto anyone who will have them when they're young and end up miserable when they're older. That is why it's good to take your time at relationships.

I'm not trying to demean you when I say you're young, it's just a fact. As much as you're jealous of guys who are medically transitioning, I can say I have a tinge of envy because of your youth. You have your whole life ahead of you with unlimited possibilities.

That's also true

I'm jealous.

Happy for all of them, but jealous of where they are now. I know I'm never going to be there now, not because I'll never get hormones but because my body is working against me being able to build up muscle and hold itself together. I'm painfully jealous when it comes to these things, because testosterone might give me a fighting chance at strengthening my ligaments so I don't lose part of my functionality in my left arm like I have my right. That left arm is my good arm, I need it. I want to walk outside my house in a t-shirt with nothing underneath it. Granted, I've been given a relatively smaller chest, but it isn't flat how it should be and I resent that so much. It makes me jealous, therefore, seeing guys with shirtless pics, especially seeing those with little to no scarring. I live in fear that estrogen is going to give me a larger chest like my female family members have, which would completely ruin any hope I'm hanging onto about getting peri or something. DI would leave huge scars on a normal guy (sometimes even with plenty of post-op care), and I scar badly due to my condition. I'm jealous seeing name and sex change forms being filled out and approved, because every time I see my current name and sex on paper or have someone call me by them, it makes me nauseous to no end.

Most of all, I get jealous when I come across acceptance. Of course it makes me elated that someone is welcomed into their family as the male that they are, but at the same time it stirs up angry, bitter feelings towards everything. My parents are horribly immature about the subject, and while my mother throws temper tantrums at the very mention of it, if I even get slightly offended by their transphobic remarks, I'm being "psychotic" and need to be locked up in a padded cell.

So yeah, I get how you feel.

Quote from: Liminal Stranger on September 09, 2013, 05:42:37 PM
I'm jealous.

Happy for all of them, but jealous of where they are now. I know I'm never going to be there now, not because I'll never get hormones but because my body is working against me being able to build up muscle and hold itself together. I'm painfully jealous when it comes to these things, because testosterone might give me a fighting chance at strengthening my ligaments so I don't lose part of my functionality in my left arm like I have my right. That left arm is my good arm, I need it. I want to walk outside my house in a t-shirt with nothing underneath it. Granted, I've been given a relatively smaller chest, but it isn't flat how it should be and I resent that so much. It makes me jealous, therefore, seeing guys with shirtless pics, especially seeing those with little to no scarring. I live in fear that estrogen is going to give me a larger chest like my female family members have, which would completely ruin any hope I'm hanging onto about getting peri or something. DI would leave huge scars on a normal guy (sometimes even with plenty of post-op care), and I scar badly due to my condition. I'm jealous seeing name and sex change forms being filled out and approved, because every time I see my current name and sex on paper or have someone call me by them, it makes me nauseous to no end.

Most of all, I get jealous when I come across acceptance. Of course it makes me elated that someone is welcomed into their family as the male that they are, but at the same time it stirs up angry, bitter feelings towards everything. My parents are horribly immature about the subject, and while my mother throws temper tantrums at the very mention of it, if I even get slightly offended by their transphobic remarks, I'm being "psychotic" and need to be locked up in a padded cell.

So yeah, I get how you feel.

Exactly how I feel, On point

I'm sure that I would have if I had known any pre-transition, or didn't have the supportive family I have who helped me along in my transition as soon as I came out. 

I mostly am jealous of normal dudes.  I wasn't a man-hating lesbian, but I feel myself slowly drifting into being a man-hating transman.  Though I am consciously attempting to stop this drift.

Quote from: GnomeKid on September 09, 2013, 06:37:08 PM
I'm sure that I would have if I had known any pre-transition, or didn't have the supportive family I have who helped me along in my transition as soon as I came out. 

I mostly am jealous of normal dudes.  I wasn't a man-hating lesbian, but I feel myself slowly drifting into being a man-hating transman.  Though I am consciously attempting to stop this drift.

Im really jealous of normal guys

Quote from: Brandon on September 09, 2013, 02:08:55 PM
i understand that but you don't understand my situation because you have support, No one has a perfect life but the guys who have transitioned have happier lives, Unlile mine which is pure hell, Because I know for a fact my mom will never see me as her son

I may not understand your exact situation, but i do understand being jealous which is what I meant. But you can't say that I have a happier life than you just because I have transitioned. (unless you mean happier life than before I transitioned, which is true). Everyone has crappy stuff in their life and just because someone has transitioned doesn't mean they don't have a whole bunch of other stuff on their shoulders.

Quote from: mangoslayer on September 09, 2013, 09:10:42 PM
I may not understand your exact situation, but i do understand being jealous which is what I meant. But you can't say that I have a happier life than you just because I have transitioned. (unless you mean happier life than before I transitioned, which is true). Everyone has crappy stuff in their life and just because someone has transitioned doesn't mean they don't have a whole bunch of other stuff on their shoulders.

No you don't understand the support thing at all, Yea the jealous part,  My mom will never see me as or call me her son you have no idea how that feels, That just makes transitioning even harder because I'm gonna be alone through all of it

Quote from: Brandon on September 09, 2013, 09:53:17 PM
No you don't understand the support thing at all, Yea the jealous part,  My mom will never see me as or call me her son you have no idea how that feels, That just makes transitioning even harder because I'm gonna be alone through all of it

Hey Brandon,

There's been guys here who've been disowned by their families after coming out, so there are guys who can relate to how you feel. I understand what you're saying in the part I bolded in the quote. It is scary thinking or knowing that you'll be rejected by those you care about, there's the constant pull between doing what makes other people happy and doing what makes you happy. There's no easy answer, and no matter what you do things can be difficult.

As the saying goes "you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends." If your family doesn't accept you, sometimes, unfortunately, you just have to move on with your life despite how difficult that can be; or you can choose to be the bigger person and show them unconditional love despite them not accepting you, and hopefully over time their views will change.

In the meantime, you don't have to be alone if your family does not accept you. You can make friends with people who are trans friendly, and share your transition experiences with them. Often, going through a hard time and sharing it with your friends can make those friends become like a family to you.

I truly can relate to how you feel.

Nirbhao, nirvair
Henry 

Who wouldn't get jealous over a thing like this, it's just human nature. But then again that doesn't mean you can't be happy for those who are further into their transition or done with it.
For me it's not that big of a deal anymore, being on T and post-op but it wasn't that long ago when I was pre-everything and jealous of those who had started T and most of all of those who had their top surgery done. It's still kinda hard for me to believe that someone could be jealous of my progress in trasitioning these days.
But now I'm more jealous of those who've had all the surgeries they want done and have had their social security number changed. It's about being able to finally live to the fullest without having your life being interrupted by surgeries and all that jazz.

It's always sad to read/hear/see trans people who don't have their family's support, they can really say or do the meanest things that seriously hurt. Sometimes that happens even when the family is supporting...
My family didn't shun me or anything, they're supporting me through all this (counting out my grandmother, she doesn't really understand what's going on and whatnot) but to me that makes it even worse to hear my old name. The worst example of this was at my mom and stepdad's wedding where the name tag on the table had my old name on it (my name hadn't officially changed back then but I was already going by my current name). It felt like the rug had been pulled away underneath me. Kinda like they say this but do that instead, y'know. Not very nice.

Yea I agree with what your saying

Quote from: androidnick on September 10, 2013, 05:20:06 PM
Your time will come. At one point I had a falling out with a friend of mine because I had been going through the process of transition for 2 years and after 2 months he was on T.

Even now that I am on T I freak out that changes aren't coming even though they are and I feel like time is passing by so slow. But yeah. I can't say time will fly by for you. But eventually your time will come. Make a diary/journal. Document your transition. Maybe make a YouTube account. And begin the social transition outside of home so that you can speed up the process when you go to a therapist. It sucks right now but you will find happiness.

Yea that's true I do have a youtube account alreafy, So when I start I can document it, But I agree it will

Quote from: androidnick on September 10, 2013, 05:46:53 PM
You don't have to be on t to document your transition. Plenty of guys talk about their experience beforehand. It can help

Oh I didn't know that

Quote from: androidnick on September 10, 2013, 06:20:17 PM
Yep. And aside from everything. There are guys who never go on T. And they feel transitioned with either just surgery or whatever feels comfortable for them. So no one is stopping you from making videos about how you feel. How you know you are tra
ns, etc. I think someone good for you to watch would be this guy.
http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9JFuxIKdCzsRE9rY1E015Q (Ezra)

And this kid is also really young and still not on T.
http://www.youtube.com/user/YoungLove10412?feature=watch

They have a collab channel on Youtube with guys all around the same age. you may benefit from watching them.
http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5DFe8qPD4Dhpbi_09MCTew?feature=c4-feed-c

I didn't think of that

I am on T and all but I find that youtube is a very supportive environment. You might not think that as there are nasty comments that you see, but really I haven't had that problem. The worse thing I get is sometimes people dislike my videos. I don't really like this as I don't understand it. I think "well why did you watch it--just do something else". But even then it's not common. I'm warning you as  you seem to react to stuff more than I probably do and it's not all pleasant. But we have a nice little community of older guys (which is not your thing obviously, but just to say that there are little sub-communities). It seems more real than this does as I we can follow each others lives. (Of course, there is obviously overlap since I have followers from here. Hey faithful followers!!)

--Jay

Dunno how anyone can dislike your vids, Jay. You're adorably awesome! You're like Mr. Smiley, what's to dislike?