Quote from: Alice Danielle on September 15, 2013, 05:15:44 AM
Yes you can.  You don't have dysphoria, you don't want to be a girl, so don't do anything.  Just live.

I can't live my life with my trans worries on my mind, it is holding up my life.

To me, this is an emotional thread to read and respond to. There's so much regret and pain in my past, attributed to being born in the wrong body. It's something I'll be working through for a long time yet. Do I hate being trans? Absolutely! I wouldn't wish this on anyone. And the pain, the cost, the difficulty in transitioning... But it won't beat me... or at least it hasn't yet.

As with so many others, I find there is a silver lining. A life of difficulty and incongruence has tempered me into such a strong person filled with humility, kindness and such a genuine and loving nature. And I will let that shine bright for the rest of my life. Maybe one day it'll cast light on, and quash, the regret from the past.

Quote from: FreshGuy on September 15, 2013, 01:01:16 PM
What "I want to be a girl" wish? lol

Mine. :p

Quote from: kabit on September 15, 2013, 07:50:33 PM
Mine. :p

And mine!.. I know that I for one went to bed most nights thinking "I would give up anything if I woke up a girl tomorrow" years before I began to seriously consider if I was trans*.

That might sound stupid, but I am still not certain if I want to fully transition. I think what I hate the most about being trans is the uncertainty.. there is no way of knowing if transitioning will make you happy until after the fact. That makes it a really damned scary process!

yes, i hate it. I don't understand it. I don't know why it has to happen to me and I don't know how to deal with it. And then I feel even worse when I see people going through God awful things like getting paralyzed or soldiers losing limbs in war and the guilt about being trans is unbearable.

Quote from: TiffanyT on September 16, 2013, 02:29:53 AM
yes, i hate it. I don't understand it. I don't know why it has to happen to me and I don't know how to deal with it. And then I feel even worse when I see people going through God awful things like getting paralyzed or soldiers losing limbs in war and the guilt about being trans is unbearable.

I feel terrible comparing it to those sorts of things. . . but it helps people understand. I make a point to say that yes, it's physically different, but the social aspects are similar (and worse, imo). People, talking about my wife's reaction, say they couldn't be in a relationship anymore because the sex would stop, and they have needs... I ask if they'd leave their husband if he became paraplegic... it seems wrong to say, somehow - but I can't get through thick skulls in any other way

Quote from: Anastasia E on September 15, 2013, 09:31:11 PM
And mine!.. I know that I for one went to bed most nights thinking "I would give up anything if I woke up a girl tomorrow" years before I began to seriously consider if I was trans*.

That might sound stupid, but I am still not certain if I want to fully transition. I think what I hate the most about being trans is the uncertainty.. there is no way of knowing if transitioning will make you happy until after the fact. That makes it a really damned scary process!

Good thoughts!!! And I believe they are true. I have transitioned fully/fulltime (without SRS) also because of that doubt. And it was true... even after 6 years living as a woman now, my perspective on it is still changing.

I do not regret it...I did not expect anything when I started... I just had hope... and now after these years I am in a phase where hope has gone and I have realised that this is the way I live the rest of my life. Not as a woman, but as a trans. And there is a huge difference between the two... when it comes to socialising, friendships and dating (at least when you are into men). Its a complicated situation to be in. Let alone the physical appearence which can be reason for uncertainty. 

I have lost some things, gained others, transition has made me grow as a woman, (a rather painfull process when you are trans), I have no doubts that I am a woman, but that was not the real doubt to begin with... it was: can I be happy with being trans. And that is a whoooole different story. Sometimes I feel that my transition has not really changed anything for me. It did. But in the end...its not like life has gotten any easier.

I hate it. Early in life my mother offered to try & help me correct my physical gender to female. However in those days all the general type doctors did was talk & no one really used HRT to stop T poison or even considered SRS for someone so young. They all just said it's a phase that "he" will grow out of. I've always been a girl/woman inside with some of the wrong type body parts attached so if that is "transsexual" yes I hate it. 

My new GF told me earlier, "I can't help but think you've mutilated yourself." I'm post op. I hate being transsexual and right now I want to put my head under the covers and cry, but i'm supposed to be tough and tough girls don't cry.

 I hate how it ruins people's lives.    no transsexual has to transition with severe gender dysphoria or with out dysphoria. It is a personal decision. if you want or see a need to be a girl transition. some people adjust to it others cannot.
Transitioning is a controversial treatment. HRT carries risks. SRS is an extreme surgery. IMHO a poor substitute for being a genetic female. sorry to say.
As I see it There is also a problem with the advocates of transitioning, looking through rose colored glasses, telling people how it is the best thing since sliced bread. everyone is so happy,  you have to transition bla bla bla
and shrinks knowing what's best for TSs.  they take WPATH SOC as gospel.  or so it seems.  but do they really.
Nobody knows what causes transsexualism . If they do they are FOS .   
why MTF TSs  think similarly to females. good question.
a male with a female brain IMO is just a metaphor not a physical reality. unless there is a rare DNA abnormality. We all have a male half we get from our dads and  female  chromosomes from mom.
There has to be something lost in translation
It is above my pay grade to know what the answers are for people afflicted with transsexualism.
just try to not let it get you down.

Quote from: victoria n on September 22, 2013, 12:20:08 PM
I hate how it ruins people's lives.    no transsexual has to transition with severe gender dysphoria or with out dysphoria. It is a personal decision. if you want or see a need to be a girl transition. some people adjust to it others cannot.
Transitioning is a controversial treatment. HRT carries risks. SRS is an extreme surgery. IMHO a poor substitute for being a genetic female. sorry to say.
As I see it There is also a problem with the advocates of transitioning, looking through rose colored glasses, telling people how it is the best thing since sliced bread. everyone is so happy,  you have to transition bla bla bla
and shrinks knowing what's best for TSs.  they take WPATH SOC as gospel.  or so it seems.  but do they really.
Nobody knows what causes transsexualism . If they do they are FOS .   
why MTF TSs  think similarly to females. good question.
a male with a female brain IMO is just a metaphor not a physical reality. unless there is a rare DNA abnormality. We all have a male half we get from our dads and  female  chromosomes from mom.
There has to be something lost in translation
It is above my pay grade to know what the answers are for people afflicted with transsexualism.
just try to not let it get you down.

The latest science points directly to a difference between male and female brains. Transgender people have that of their identified gender. As I understand it, this area of the brain also reacts directly to sex hormones... so (and this is speculation) you get those with a big difference there showing signs of being transgender from a young age, and others coming out at puberty or even later.

I also think that people are far too quick to label those questioning themselves as transgender, as needing therapy and HRT... at the same time, many of these self-questioners would not have the nerve to go see a therapist without this help from the community. The best response anyone can give is "yes, you probably are transgender... you need to see a therapist specializing in transgender issues" without themselves being an expert and spending time consulting with the individual.

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on August 23, 2012, 06:19:53 PM
Another vote from someone who identifies as TG, I love it!

Yes, I too love being Transgender/TS.  Like so many others I regret not accepting myself earlier in life but now with diminished dysphoria my whole life makes more sense to me.  Being TG/TS and not dealing with myself effectively made me work much harder to cope with my fears and private shame.  How much better it would have been to put that energy into transitioning 30 years ago?  I'll never know so it's merely academic.  Sigh.

Ya, we can't go back but this girl is moving very happily forward.

I used to hate it, Before i did some soul searching. If i weren't trans... id probably be a fat, hairy, smelly, racist, homophobic, bigot cuz thats what i grew up with. We are products of our environments. This gift not only makes me a better person, it allows me to sympathize with women unlike any biological male. And the women in my life really appreciate that.

I do not hate it. I'm very glad to be feminine. My only regret is that I did not completely change by body so much earlier in life, late teens or early 20's. I mssed so much not being a normal woman for all those years. I was part way MTF, living full time as Francis & enjoyed being feminine as much as possible so it was OK/fair however I just missed a normal womans early life.

Now I'm in my mid 50's & after being on & off of HRT several times I've returned to HRT again to hopefully help my body change for the better. I know that I will never be happy with life until I finally complete my SRS surgery for a hopefully normal depth vagina & body. It's a struggle for all of us. I'm trying to be calm, logical & relaxed about my life decision & all the upcoming steps that I must take.

My best to all of us girls "trapped in the wrong body".  It certainly has been the story of my life.

Quote from: victoria n on September 22, 2013, 12:20:08 PM
I hate how it ruins people's lives.    no transsexual has to transition with severe gender dysphoria or with out dysphoria. It is a personal decision. if you want or see a need to be a girl transition. some people adjust to it others cannot.
Transitioning is a controversial treatment. HRT carries risks. SRS is an extreme surgery. IMHO a poor substitute for being a genetic female. sorry to say.
As I see it There is also a problem with the advocates of transitioning, looking through rose colored glasses, telling people how it is the best thing since sliced bread. everyone is so happy,  you have to transition bla bla bla
and shrinks knowing what's best for TSs.  they take WPATH SOC as gospel.  or so it seems.  but do they really.
Nobody knows what causes transsexualism . If they do they are FOS .   
why MTF TSs  think similarly to females. good question.
a male with a female brain IMO is just a metaphor not a physical reality. unless there is a rare DNA abnormality. We all have a male half we get from our dads and  female  chromosomes from mom.
There has to be something lost in translation
It is above my pay grade to know what the answers are for people afflicted with transsexualism.
just try to not let it get you down.

Personally I disagree. I was born trans and at least in this life I did not have any real choices.
Transition is better then having to live life as something you are not. But then again, I do not identify as trans.
I am a woman in the end. And in the beginning.
Everything that you can become depends on genetic luck, (hormonal and surgery), the better you
pass as a woman, the more you can be the person that you are.
But I will never identify as a man or as a trans. For both I have no feelings. The reality is that I am a woman
and its sucks that I was born this way.

I have no gain from claiming this... cause I would rather be a man, and/or identify as trans. And I have tried.
I still try sometimes. I dont even like being a woman.

I do think you are right that this is a controversial treatment and it certainly is not a cure. Its not a solution and it
might even increase gender-dysphoria, because living life as a ->-bleeped-<- is hard. Indeed a very very poor substitute for being a genetic female.

Quote from: Sibila on September 23, 2013, 10:26:37 AM
I do think you are right that this is a controversial treatment and it certainly is not a cure. Its not a solution and it
might even increase gender-dysphoria, because living life as a ->-bleeped-<- is hard. Indeed a very very poor substitute for being a genetic female.

I would argue that the treatment is good - not perfect, but good. The success rate statistics are enough for that - 85% of women and 95% of men are happier after transition (if I recall the numbers correctly).

Society is what makes this so controversial. In society, being trans now is not much different than being gay 30-50 years ago.

Quote from: Miss Bungle on September 23, 2013, 11:54:00 AM
I agree with this. (Gives kabit a carrot) Society is and has always been the problem.

I do love carrots... and lettuce, especially lettuce!!
♥

Quote from: Elsa.G on August 23, 2012, 02:59:45 PM
Ive met people before who don't really mind it, but honestly i hate it. I hate every aspect of it and would definitely prefer to be genetically female more than anything else. -_-

Self hatred, really? Sure I wish I was genetically female, now, but I'm not, nor will I be..EVER. I spent 50 years male and used male privilege to do some amazing things, and now I get to do something few humans will ever do, change genders. It's amazing and a gift.

Too bad you're missing out on one of the great adventures in life. I feel sorry for you. I really do.

Quote from: DrZoey on September 23, 2013, 12:43:13 PMToo bad you're missing out on one of the great adventures in life. I feel sorry for you. I really do.

A bit condescending...

Quote from: Silvermist on September 23, 2013, 01:54:16 PM
A bit condescending...

+1.