I had read this a week ago and forgot to re post it here.  Enjoy

http://freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones/2013/09/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of-indirect-gender-dysphoria/

Yeah like I said elsewhere, it's good information if you don't have mental illness. For me, those are all symptoms of my depression and anxiety which are quite unrelated to my gender.

Very good information, mainly because I feel I can relate to allot of those things she listed. Especially the one about just going through the motions and being randomly grumpy for no reason.

I saw this a few days ago. I don't always agree with Zinnia Jones's thoughts (usually, but not always) ... but she's truly made of win, and NOT someone I would want to go up against in a debate. Any way, I think her thoughts in this case are spot on I'd say.

Some of what she talks about are things I've noticed even though I'm pre HRT at the moment, and some of it took me about zero point sixteen seconds to realize are things that I deal with/do/think on a daily basis, and it's incredibly re-assuring that HRT may at least help with a lot of it.

One thing that's making it easier and easier for me to work toward transition (and trying to deal with things while I have to wait) is knowing that the way I feel is very normal for someone dealing with the same issues as me.

And she's right. not all of us fully realize we're trans at an early age. I had always had various thoughts and feelings and unhappiness and things I didn't want or didn't want to happen etc etc etc etc etc ... but I never once thought "I'm transgender/etc" until I took an anthropology class and the instructor discussed transgender people and issues.

I just went "THATS ME!"

I think I was 50/50 on this one. Puberty was definitely when I had it first.

I think the biggest source of dysphoria I've got is wanting to be like nearly every woman I see. I evaluate all of them based on a reflection of myself that doesn't exist. I suppose that's similar to what many of them do too?

yeah i too read this a few days back. i have almost all the symptoms she's describing there. especially that parallel existence thing and invisible voice judging everything. and being drained of emotions after having a good cry, and the laziness, and the aimless feelings, and the rest of it. maybe she's right. one more thing, i was thinking gender dysphoria hit me after puberty. but it seems that i had a few of there symptoms even before that and they intensified after puberty. yeah she's right in that point too.

Much of what she outlined fit rather well to my life too.  At the point I read this it was nicely reaffirming that I'm at least not completely crazy.

Well that article is me in a nutshell.   Pass the hormones please...

It's hard to differentiate for me between what is my anxiety and what is dysphoria. But on the whole crying thing, that's me to a T. My friend told me recently that crying always makes her feel better and I'm like are you for real? I'm always so emotionally and physically drained after that all I can do is sleep.  And always feeling disconnected with real life, like it's not even my life that I'm living. Also the second voice is very accurate. Even during my worst breakdowns I have another voice in my head going why are you crying, it's not a big deal. Or if I'm sad or happy, there's always this second voice analyzing everything I'm doing and feeling.

I always had feelings like this and just not meshing into life like I was suppose to, but I never thought I could be transgender. It didn't help that all I ever heard about transgender people is that they felt like a girl in a boy's body or vise versa since they were little and I never really was like yeah I'm totally a dude. It wasn't until I saw someone explaining on tumblr how they knew that they were trans they everything just went click and I was like oooooh and opened myself up to the possibility.

well... that was a nice summary of my dysphoria. and please realize all the mentioned points (apart from possibly the last) are symptoms of dysphoria. just not necessarily gender dysphoria, it could be due to other chemical imbalances or mental illness. but it really is interesting to read all the stories about trans people whose dysphoria has lessened significantly just by correcting their hormones.

i think i'll start my mission to find the right chemicals fro my brain, so i can finally feel like i'm living, get a purpose, have some energy, and all that.

Quote from: kabit on September 22, 2013, 02:24:39 PM
I think I was 50/50 on this one. Puberty was definitely when I had it first.

I think the biggest source of dysphoria I've got is wanting to be like nearly every woman I see. I evaluate all of them based on a reflection of myself that doesn't exist. I suppose that's similar to what many of them do too?

I reread this. The titles are misleading... yeah, I skim.

I'm still not 100%, but #7 is important. My drives for some, like #4, were overshadowed by my coping mechanism. I like to learn... always have. If I look at that drive, #4 doesn't apply, but at the same time I've always been looking for something to fill that void... something was always missing.

#1 is too much a symptom of depression... I've never had that... not much, at least (College was tough...).

Overall I've always been happy and optimistic... just feel like my life was always muted. Much like going through the motions, and doing them well, but not getting much satisfaction out of it. I've only ever found satisfaction in STEM (science, tech...) stuff. I've been happy at events (birth of kids, etc) but it still feels muted. Like yeah it happened, yeah I'm happy, yeah I love them... but there's still something hanging over it all.

Makes what I've done even that much more difficult.

(Sorry... feeling grammar-less from all this).

Quote from: Emmaline on September 23, 2013, 10:24:50 AM
Well that article is me in a nutshell.   Pass the hormones please...

Pretty much the same here...