Well I was in class today my psychology teacher was talking about  Voluntary and involuntary behavior and then she went on to say this one pertains to males and not females when reffering to unwanted boners and and how males have to stay in one spot sometimes, All the guys got it and it took a while for the girls, It made me dysphoric and feel like I'm not a man because every dude laughed at it because they could relate to it, And then I realized I don't have a penis. And I even laughed until I realized that I can't experience it, So it made me feel not just less but not a man at all.







Edited improper language.

Quote from: androidnick on September 23, 2013, 07:03:28 PM
It's just one of those things man. We all have to deal. I can't get a woman pregnant and I will never know what it is like to have been born with a penis. But it doesn't change the fact that I think, feel, and am a man.

Yea I understand that, I just feel stupid calling myself a man especially in situations like those

Quote from: androidnick on September 23, 2013, 07:12:13 PM
Dude, I'm a little over a month on T. And I get ma'med every damn time I go to work. Multiple times at work. It frekin sucks. HOWEVER, it doesn't matter. Because I know soon enough I will start to pass more. And even if I didn't, what others think of me is irrelevant. It sucks yeah to be misgendered but I know who I am. And that's a big part of it. Feeling secure with yourself.

It's not everyone else I'm saying I feel stupid fr calling myself a man because when I look in the mirror or when I'm in the shower I see he exact opposite, And I rarely get misgendered unless I make my voice super high which only happens when I get excited

Quote from: androidnick on September 23, 2013, 07:19:30 PM
Brandon, that's just it. What I am saying is that what matters is you need to be secure with yourself. Physically, you can't do very much. It is what it is until you start T, and even so, it is not the total solution depending on your needs and wants. But you need to learn to accept the fact that your body is the way it is. I'm not saying love it, or even like it, but just accept the fact that it is what you were born with and you are in the process of helping yourself become more of the person you are on the inside.

How when when m body is telling me the exact opposite, Its hard to accept that yea Ive been trying to do that since freshmen year it's just not working at all bruh it's only getting worse to the point were I don't even wanna touch myself down their or my chest

Quote from: Brandon on September 23, 2013, 07:24:17 PM



How when when m body is telling me the exact opposite, Its hard to accept that yea Ive been trying to do that since freshmen year it's just not working at all bruh it's only getting worse to the point were I don't even wanna touch myself down their or my chest

I think your best bet is to just keep thinking about the future. Having a sense that theres a light at the end will help you get past this. Start making a plan for your transition, find reasonable and realistic ways to make it achievable. Set goals for when you want things done. If you feel you will soon be making progress to being in the right body, your feelings now will become more bearable.

Quote from: androidnick on September 23, 2013, 07:31:11 PM
The harsh reality? Either find yourself a therapist or deal with it. That's the only thing I can tell you. Because again, a lot of guys think that once they start T, all their problems will go away. They don't. And unfortunately, therapy can sometimes be useless to people because they are unwilling to take any advice. A lot of guys who have been transitioning for years, still don't feel entirely happy with their bodies. And dysphoria can shift. Dade has a really great video on this.

The point is, you need to learn to just not think about it. That's pretty much what I do. I look at my chest, and I don't associate it as a part of me. It's there yeah but I don't see it as mine. I've desensitized myself to it pretty much. And that's MY way of coping. You need to find your own way.

You know if I could see a therapist I would but right know I can't, And its kinda hard not to think about it when I hear stuff like that, Never said all problems go away once on T I already know this and probally won't ever really be satisfied then, But it would ease the dysphoria, But thanks!

Quote from: LearnedHand on September 23, 2013, 07:31:44 PM
I think your best bet is to just keep thinking about the future. Having a sense that theres a light at the end will help you get past this. Start making a plan for your transition, find reasonable and realistic ways to make it achievable. Set goals for when you want things done. If you feel you will soon be making progress to being in the right body, your feelings now will become more bearable.

That's the point I can't see any light, Ive already set goals I've done everything you said up there, I'm still upset, But yea I have a plan

what's your plan (if you mind sharing, here or in another thread)? Some of the more experienced guys might see some holes or might have suggestions to make things easier. Collective knowledge is great to tap.

Wish you the best man, but its hard to be positive if you set yourself up to feel bad.

(I find being slightly delusional helps If I convince myself that I am totally awesomely and manly, I feel fantastic!)

Quote from: androidnick on September 23, 2013, 07:40:18 PM
Did you ever attend any GSA meetings? Have you made friends with the people in that group. Susans helps everyone out a ton but sometimes it's nice to just experience things in real life with others. This is something else that could maybe help you cope.

No I don't because I feel like its not gonna help because it's gay straight alliance

Quote from: LearnedHand on September 23, 2013, 07:45:44 PM
what's your plan (if you mind sharing, here or in another thread)? Some of the more experienced guys might see some holes or might have suggestions to make things easier. Collective knowledge is great to tap.

Wish you the best man, but its hard to be positive if you set yourself up to feel bad.

(I find being slightly delusional helps If I convince myself that I am totally awesomely and manly, I feel fantastic!)

Getting a job, Going to college then transitioning from their so maybe my insurrance could cover it

Quote from: androidnick on September 23, 2013, 07:49:03 PM
Exactly! It's all about having confidence in yourself. It can be hard. And Brandon, if you really do pass most of the time on the street, you really shouldn't be doubting who you are as a person. a penis does not make the man. I know it can be hard when you see yourself in the mirror but at the end of the day, you just gotta be like "who cares?" You are very lucky in the sense that you apparently have no issue passing.

Well I always doubt myself because at the end of day when I go to bathroom or take showers I have nothing dangling between my legs, Yea in my heart I'm a guy but who focuses on the heart anymore especially when it comes to gender/Sex honestly not to be a dick or anything but I had been born with the right parts I'd probally believe my penis made me partially a man to

Quote from: androidnick on September 23, 2013, 07:54:23 PM
Brandon, they don't just talk about Gay issues. They are a way to make connections, and educate yourself further. Or heck, even educate them. If you keep yourself closed off from people like this who can be a way to further your transition then you aren't helping yourself. Guess what? My friend who is trans and started T around 5 months ahead of me was in the GSA. And he only recently came out as trans. Even though it's a GAY straight alliance, it isn't just gay or straight. There are different aspects to these clubs. Expose yourself to them while you have access to them! And from what I remember the teacher running it is pretty frekin awesome! Don't shut yourself from these opportunities.

Ill consider it

Quote from: androidnick on September 23, 2013, 08:05:23 PM
Brandon, I'm really trying to help. This is part of your issue. You don't listen to the advice people give you. Many of us are older than you and have gone through a lot of what you're going through this very moment. You had such a fantastic experience with an adult that is actively in your life (your teacher) and she is the GSA leader or whatever. She can help you. Other students can help you. The GSA kids are usually some of the coolest and most open minded kids you can meet.

I said Ill consider, But I have gay friends who don't even understand me

I was reciting Rehraas Sahib just now and came across this which made me think of you: "Remain always with the Lord,.O my mind, and all sufferings will be forgotten." - Raamkalee, Third Mehl, Anand (approximate translation into English)

I know you're a Christian, isn't God supposed to help you? If you believe inGod and Jesus, put your faith in them to help you with GD. That's the end of any adviceI might have for you, you probably won't find this helpful, but I see little point in having a belief if you can't lean on it when you are in need.

Quote from: LearnedHand on September 23, 2013, 08:21:35 PM
I was reciting Rehraas Sahib just now and came across this which made me think of you: "Remain always with the Lord,.O my mind, and all sufferings will be forgotten." - Raamkalee, Third Mehl, Anand (approximate translation into English)

I know you're a Christian, isn't God supposed to help you? If you believe inGod and Jesus, put your faith in them to help you with GD. That's the end of any adviceI might have for you, you probably won't find this helpful, but I see little point in having a belief if you can't lean on it when you are in need.

I don't even think God accepts me that's why, Or even takes me seriously I believe in him with all me heart, But I don't think hes pleased with what I'm trying to do

Quote from: Brandon on September 23, 2013, 07:49:25 PM
No I don't because I feel like its not gonna help because it's gay straight alliance

When I was in college I went to a GSA and believe it or not, I met a lot of good friends and they loved me. They even raised money for my top surgery. Don't discount a GSA because it's a GAY-straight alliance.

Quote from: androidnick on September 23, 2013, 08:29:15 PM
You could find a LGBT friendly church near you. I'm sure there's at least one. I'm not religious in the least bit but maybe attending a church like this would really benefit you. If you believe in God, and all that jazz then you should also believe he created everything, including Gays, Transgender people, etc. Why would God create you just to condemn you? People create hate.

The same reason people have sex before their married but that's another story, I mean I like the church I'm at but I'm probally gonna switch

Quote from: Darrin Scott on September 23, 2013, 08:28:31 PM
When I was in college I went to a GSA and believe it or not, I met a lot of good friends and they loved me. They even raised money for my top surgery. Don't discount a GSA because it's a GAY-straight alliance.

Ok well then I will go check it out one day

Quote from: androidnick on September 23, 2013, 08:36:22 PM
You are describing something that is a choice Brandon. People do have that choice. But you are Trans. That is NOT a choice. So you are comparing apples and oranges.

I'm sure many will disagree with me but, being trans is not a choice, but transitioning is a choice.  For some it may be a choice between transitioning or living a life of severe depression.  That decision may have an obvious choice to some, but nonetheless, it is still technically a choice.

Quote from: androidnick on September 23, 2013, 08:36:22 PM
You are describing something that is a choice Brandon. People do have that choice. But you are Trans. That is NOT a choice. So you are comparing apples and oranges.

Well yea being trans isn't a choice I'm just saying theirs alot of things God let be created that he comdemned, But Ill save that for the religious section