Hi everyone!  I was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions on how to feel more feminine.  In my case, it's not that I feel particularly man-ish, or have difficulty passing or any of that; I just don't feel very feminine.  I have a job with a strict, fairly unisex dress code; have a particular mode of transportation, a scooter, that requires me to wear pants, which after 2 decades of having that as my only dress option, I'm not keen on wearing much; and live in a cold climate, which often requires me dressing more like the Michelin man than I'd like to for 6 months out of the year.  Sadly, I don't have many local friends to be able to have a "girls night out," or anything of the sort, and don't even know where to start in making worth-while friends, as opposed to the drunken bar-flies which make up most of the people my age in this town.  I just don't know if it's that I'm just unknowingly headed towards a new chapter in my life, and am in a "quarter-life crisis," or if it's just a phase that everyone goes through, or perhaps something I should be mildly concerned about.

Hi Hon,

A few bits of my experience, do make sure you get your nails done so they look sexy, and of course if you can get a facial every now and again. As for dress codes, there is nothing to stop you wearing cute sexy underwear. That makes a girl feel good even when no once else knows.

Meeting people may need a change of strategy. Have you thought of joining new clubs, such as amateur theater? Or a book club? Something where people do in fact join to meet people. It is a bit of a cliche but the nice people like to do nice things and not get wasted all the time, and they want to meet nice people who want to meet others.

A new hobby, art appreciation or photography. When you go along people will ask why you joined and you just say I wanted to meet some nice people to make new friends.

You can't lose!!!

Hugs Hon

Cindy

hairdo, makeup, nails, accessories, underwear... but how strict is the dress code? does it have to be a particular cut, or is it the color, or both or? some people always wear stockings, even under jeans. they say they like the feeling, probably makes them feel more womanly, or at least it makes me feel creepily feminine. i shudder at the thought.

i don't remember who it was, might have been my sister, who said that she loved the feeling when she'd just removed hair from her legs, moisturized well, and then wore nylon stockings. moisturizing hands all the time is also a typical feminine thing to do, which is probably the reason why i never do it.

there's really a ton of things that girls do in order to feel feminine even when wearing very unfeminine clothing. much of it has to do with skin care.

Quote from: Cindy on September 24, 2013, 02:55:25 AM

A new hobby, art appreciation or photography. When you go along people will ask why you joined and you just say I wanted to meet some nice people to make new friends.

THIS!  You are not alone... there are many CIS women who are in your situation in cold climates.  I suggest you find something you love to do (whether it be bowling or scrap-booking) and just be yourself.  You will find friendly women who are looking for a woman friend to do things with, too... and who are likely in the same situation, feeling distinctly unfeminine.  Nothing makes me feel more feminine than spending time in the company of other women, and I'm not exactly capable of going stealth.

Good luck!   

I get in that funk now and then, but one thing i know pulls me out of it is a good old mani-pedi... Pure heaven bliss..

I worked in the construction field and had to ware more mens style cloths but what i never did was skimp on my panties and bras. If they only knew what was under my cloths lol.. 

Izzy

@ Izzy....lol.  I work construction as well and I'm doing the same thing but I am also wearing a women's cut fire retardant jean...I even wear my butterfly necklace tucked under my shirt which has made an appearance to some of my coworkers.   I wear whatever I can get away with:)

Quote from: europopprincess on September 24, 2013, 01:55:27 AM
Hi everyone!  I was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions on how to feel more feminine.

Feminine is in the heart.

I read chick lit, watch romantic comedies, and listen to Pink, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and Colbie Caillat. I don't do it to feel feminine - I really love all that stuff - but it has that welcome side effect.

For that 'ahhhhh, back to me' feeling, I tend to do a 'maintenance day' with nair, moisturizing, a facial mask, etc. and then go out with friends in whatever feels right for the occasion while leaning a little more toward feminine with my hair done, straightened, and so on. I work a job and have a schedule where I don't have the time and work out constantly so it's a nice thing to just kick back and take care of myself. My partner does the same thing and sometimes we'll go so far as to do a spa day together to just get the kinks out.

I know it sounds funny but really, what I get out of it is just the destressing of taking good care of myself. I don't ever have a particular desire to be 'more feminine'. I'm on the girly end of the girls in my roller derby league but we don't seem to particularly go for that, we just are.

I'll echo the chorus of people saying get into something. Joining up with derby saved my effin life. You don't even have to love what you're getting into. I know a girl who came in at the same time as me who wasn't sold on the sport but wanted to be awesome and make new friends and fell in love with the sport itself along the way. Just do *something* outside of your routine... with people... in public spaces.

Not the point of the thread, but uhm, your profile says you're from Arizona, and you say you live in a cold climate, maybe 3000 km closer to the equator than I. Did you forget to update your profile after moving far away, or something?

thank you all for your helpful advice!  i suppose, reflecting on it, i've really been giving all my time, energy, and attention to everywhere and everyone except myself.  :-P 

@A, i live in a little town called flagstaff, arizona.  it's about 120 miles north of phoenix, but at an elevation of 7000', our climate is more akin to parts of alaska.  we just got our first "ice fall" a couple days ago, and it's not uncommon to see snow well into may, or even june.

I was just talking with one of my friends here about taking a long, hot bath.  Lights dimmed, bathroom scented with burning aromatic vanilla candles, some soft music playing, and my tangerine bubble bath.

Helps clear the mind and cleanse the soul.

Quote from: A on September 25, 2013, 02:18:11 AM
Not the point of the thread, but uhm, your profile says you're from Arizona, and you say you live in a cold climate, maybe 3000 km closer to the equator than I. Did you forget to update your profile after moving far away, or something?

I had the same question but then I remembered there are places like Aspen, CO.

Ooooooh. Mountaiiiins. o.o Sorry, didn't think of that at all.

Date men.  Find a successful guy who will enjoy taking you out for dinner, do things in public with you, etc. When you are dating a man it (in my experience) allows you to realize just how feminine you are in contrast to your partner.

Wear perfume sometimes. Toe nail polish, your favorite bras, a silky camisole, a body wash with shea butter, jewelry, cute shoes, feminine underwear,

Quote from: Kate G on September 29, 2013, 07:55:01 PM
Date men.  Find a successful guy who will enjoy taking you out for dinner, do things in public with you, etc. When you are dating a man it (in my experience) allows you to realize just how feminine you are in contrast to your partner.

Not gonna deny, this really does bring out the girly-girl in me.

People just go out and say "ohey, I'm gonna date a man"? I think I have much to learn about society.

The dating or boyfriend idea is probably the best.

what do the other women wear in your workplace? and if you cant wear too feminine stuff, there are always womens boots and womens coats?

Quote from: A on September 30, 2013, 06:50:19 PM
People just go out and say "ohey, I'm gonna date a man"? I think I have much to learn about society.

Everything begins with a thought.