I can't say I didn't think that way sometimes, but... this is the way I am and my body don't have to determinate who I am, so..I'm going to be the best that I can be an Enjoy every single moment in my life, so.. what if I born Transexual, I'm a women and I'm proud of it

Quote from: Nidalexi on October 08, 2013, 02:07:41 PM
I've had very, very, very bad experience with feminists in regards to the MTF community. Very bad experiences.  I don't think they do crap for us, because they usually tend to think we're just men trying to invade "the only thing they have."

There are different groups of feminists. The "terfs" as they are sometimes called tend to treat transsexuals in a truly abhorrent and cruel manner. Others have either been open to us or have warmed to us over the years (such as Gloria Steinem's recent declaration of support for transwomen).

While I won't tolerate bigotry against me, I am not going to hold it against someone who seems to be changing or trying to change. How can I hold such against them when I myself have had to learn to face the truth, face myself, and adapt to that reality? So if a feminist seems to be trying to make amends towards the trans community, I'm inclined to give that person the benefit of the doubt. It's just the hard core haters I try to ignore.

Quote from: LizMarie on October 08, 2013, 05:14:05 PM
There are different groups of feminists. The "terfs" as they are sometimes called tend to treat transsexuals in a truly abhorrent and cruel manner. Others have either been open to us or have warmed to us over the years (such as Gloria Steinem's recent declaration of support for transwomen).

While I won't tolerate bigotry against me, I am not going to hold it against someone who seems to be changing or trying to change. How can I hold such against them when I myself have had to learn to face the truth, face myself, and adapt to that reality? So if a feminist seems to be trying to make amends towards the trans community, I'm inclined to give that person the benefit of the doubt. It's just the hard core haters I try to ignore.

I never said once that I judged all feminists the same, I simply said I've had bad experience with feminists.

Me too... during my years of trying to be a guy.  It was confusing and sad... for what it's worth I never tried to be one of those 'male feminists' who pretends to support, then co-opts.

Note please that I said what feminism meant to me personally. 

My mentor is a cis-gender woman in her seventies who fought the early battles, which were very real.  And from what I'm experiencing today, they're far from over. 

Quote from: Nidalexi on October 08, 2013, 06:54:27 PM
I never said once that I judged all feminists the same, I simply said I've had bad experience with feminists.

Quote from: kabit on October 08, 2013, 12:28:55 PM
In that case, I'd avoid the terms "feminism" and "feminist."
It really isn't a female only issue. It covers a very broad spectrum of gender... and it makes sense for us to be at the forefront of it.

"Gender Rights" ? I realize mysogeny and male (and cis) privilige are big issues, but men should definitely be included. Male privilige is as not extended to those who don't strive toward that masculine ideal. I've certainly benefited from privilige, but not nearly as much as most men (just far more than most women ).

There is such a thing as female privilige !! I never had any male privilige because I was too feminine as a boy so...but now that I live as a woman I have a much better life in terms of privilige.

Funny, as a man in a man's world I did reap the benefits of the guy world but I never thought about it until later in life. Also looking back, I always treated women as an equal..which would be natural since I have this female brain.
And in reality, with men I always felt a little intimidated. 
Life is funny  sometimes
Carrie

For those following the Feminism part of this topic ... here's a site that describes the 4th wave exactly as we have here:

http://theterfs.com/resources/terminology/

The site apparently exposes TERF hate speak (probably full of triggers) but as a 4th wave site may be good to keep tabs on.

Quote from: Sibila on October 09, 2013, 10:06:50 AM
There is such a thing as female privilige !! I never had any male privilige because I was too feminine as a boy so...but now that I live as a woman I have a much better life in terms of privilige.

Ill be looking forward to this!

I don't know if this counts as changing my answer.

I love being me. I am transgender.

I'm hurt that I was not afforded the right to live as a woman from day 1.
I'm hurt that I was so bullied and socially repressed that I couldn't even tell my parents about it.
I'm hurt that I was ashamed of it, hid it, and repressed it for so many years (20+).
I'm hurt that I was forced to hurt my family so badly.
I'm hurt that society hates us so much that I'm facing a difficult and dangerous life when I'm fully out and proud.

But most of all, I love to finally be me. I think that outweighs the rest of the pain.

I've been watching this thread and.... thinking.... for a long time.

Do I hate being transsexual? Yes and no.

I hate the pain that my transition is bringing and is going to bring other people. I may be on the verge of a divorce from someone I dearly love and thought I'd grow old with. I hate the loss of friends that I know will inevitably happen, people that hold me in the highest regard right now. I can see it all coming.

But I can't go back to the old life - the alcohol abuse, the unhappiness, the inability to fit in with males. The wrongness of it. The truth has set me free.

While I will be losing a lot of my old life I also expect to gain a lot too. New friends, new life experiences living an authentic life. Very few people get a fresh start, a do over in life, but I do. And very few people have the perspective we have from living on both sides of the gender divide.

Being trans has sucked in many, many ways - but it has also shaped my life and I wouldn't be the person that I am now if I wasn't trans.

~Eva

Quote from: Eva Marie on October 14, 2013, 08:36:14 AM
I've been watching this thread and.... thinking.... for a long time.

Do I hate being transsexual? Yes and no.

I hate the pain that my transition is bringing and is going to bring other people. I may be on the verge of a divorce from someone I dearly love and thought I'd grow old with. I hate the loss of friends that I know will inevitably happen, people that hold me in the highest regard right now. I can see it all coming.

But I can't go back to the old life - the alcohol abuse, the unhappiness, the inability to fit in with males. The wrongness of it. The truth has set me free.

While I will be losing a lot of my old life I also expect to gain a lot too. New friends, new life experiences living an authentic life. Very few people get a fresh start, a do over in life, but I do. And very few people have the perspective we have from living on both sides of the gender divide.

Being trans has sucked in many, many ways - but it has also shaped my life and I wouldn't be the person that I am now if I wasn't trans.

~Eva

Quote from: kabit on October 14, 2013, 06:06:35 AM
I don't know if this counts as changing my answer.

I love being me. I am transgender.

I'm hurt that I was not afforded the right to live as a woman from day 1.
I'm hurt that I was so bullied and socially repressed that I couldn't even tell my parents about it.
I'm hurt that I was ashamed of it, hid it, and repressed it for so many years (20+).
I'm hurt that I was forced to hurt my family so badly.
I'm hurt that society hates us so much that I'm facing a difficult and dangerous life when I'm fully out and proud.

But most of all, I love to finally be me. I think that outweighs the rest of the pain.

Thank you so much, ladies, for expressing so precisely how I - and i'm sure many others - feel!

I think that it's the second thing I most hate in the world. The first one are unsopportive parents.

I had the right people, I could change my mind, but right now It's hell.

Do I like it? No. Do I have any other choice? No.
For the moment, I have to put up with being trans, until transition is complete.

Quote from: Willow on October 14, 2013, 09:58:36 AM
Do I like it? No. Do I have any other choice? No.
For the moment, I have to put up with being trans, until transition is complete.

I agree 100% with Willow until transition is complete and I can live comfortably as the way I was meant to be. 

Do you hate being transsexual?

Now why would it be an issue if you passed 100% all of the time? and most of the people didn't know your origins. I think the core of the statement is being perceived as transsexual rather than being perceived as female.

Surely no one who undertakes a transition wants to be regarded as 'transgendered' or 'transsexual' after transition? it should be a private thing and it shouldn't be physically obvious to others. I wouldn't like it known that I was transsexual to my present friends or neighbours etc. It's not something I want to promote. I do hate being transsexual as there is still a stigma involved which can be very damaging which ever way it's presented. It's also no good explaining it to anyone or trying to get gold stars for being pretty much female looking for the last 30 years.

I don't hate hate being transsexual after all it is who I am without it being my fault, I quite enjoy being able to have the best of both worlds I get to be a father to my wonderful daughters while being able to be girly as well, but others judgments does get to me sometimes they just know what they see but I am more than that.

Emily.T xx

Quote from: Emily.T on November 06, 2013, 04:22:05 AM
I don't hate hate being transsexual after all it is who I am without it being my fault, I quite enjoy being able to have the best of both worlds I get to be a father to my wonderful daughters while being able to be girly as well, but others judgments does get to me sometimes they just know what they see but I am more than that.

Emily.T xx

Emily, I would have loved to have children but I wasn't fully functional as a male and couldn't facilitate that opportunity. It was very hard when I saw all my friends with kids and always left me tearful. It is a huge gap in my life no having kids. You are very lucky to have the 'best of both worlds' as you put it.

I just hate the uncertainty of my life at the moment, and the fact that im aware that within the next couple of years im gonna be losing freinds that i think of quite highly and maybe even family members! Also im gonna have to change jobs, as the place im working at tat the moment just isn't gonna accept me! :/

However this is massively outweighed by the hope that im feeling, and the thought that it WILL all be worth it!
I cannot wait to look in the mirror and gradually see myself transforming into the woman i want to be, and see this ugly "man" gradually becoming a thing of the past. I cannot wait for my outside to finally match my inner feelings! i cannot wait for people to regard me as Zoe, and i really can't wait until i can change my name to Zoe Louise Taylor, and i can see that "f" on my official documents!

Its gonna be such a rollercoaster, and at the moment i feel quite depressed, and anxious about my future and i am really hating it at tyhe moment!

But the thing that is holding me together is the fact that i know it will all be worth it, as in the next few years im gonna be transitioning into a beautiful woman! and i cannot wait!!!!

Xx

Quote from: Zoe Louise Taylor on November 06, 2013, 05:02:10 AM

I cannot wait to look in the mirror and gradually see myself transforming into the woman i want to be, and see this ugly "man" gradually becoming a thing of the past. I cannot wait for my outside to finally match my inner feelings! i cannot wait for people to regard me as Zoe, and i really can't wait until i can change my name to Zoe Louise Taylor, and i can see that "f" on my official documents!

But the thing that is holding me together is the fact that i know it will all be worth it, as in the next few years im gonna be transitioning into a beautiful woman! and i cannot wait!!!!

Xx

Back in the day 12 or so years ago I had everyone telling me I will transition really well as I looked quite feminine to start with, passed as a female sometimes when presenting as male, I wasn't tall, had a female sounding voice, and had a an endomophic bodyshape.

But of course the reality is after a decade of HRT and anti-androgens I look pretty much the same. I wasn't able to improve on what I already had and my expectations were far higher than the true reality of the limitations of transition.

I hate all the hoops we are forced to jump thru just to have one life. I'm now in my mid 50's. I knew I was a girl/woman since childhood & so many times I tried to improve my life, so many therapists, talk, talk. Having to wait & wait for something.

My dear mother tried to help me stop the T stuff & correct my body in my teens however no doctor would do anything except say it's a stage in this boys life, he will grow out of it. So I was stuck with all the T male stuff going into my body & other people trying to make me be a man. That was so wrong!!!

Etc......... I could go on all day.

I love being a woman. I do not even like the term transS. For myself I'm a woman with some of the wrong body parts that need to be removed or changed. 

Anyway my vent for the day. Going shopping today for some new dresses with a nice cis woman friend.