All of this for F*****g NOTHING. All the afternoon preparing myself as if I were going to a party, and just like that, goodbbye in les than 5 minutes.


He was waiting parked in double line. I go down, he sees me and directly gives me the rugs and goodbye. I ask him how the grandparents are, but tells me nothing "Bad, as usual". And before he leaves,


"Well, this Is how everybody sees me at work. I still can't go back to your home?"

"NO, You can't with those looks. And that's it"


I had little hope that after seeing me they would understand, but...



Yeah, now I am a fudging outcast from my own famlily. Of course, he still brings me a HDD to repair.  Yeah, and how am I going to give it?


Seriously, FUDGE YOU DAD. And it don't want to make it funny, just too many times being corrected by Devlin. I need somplace to shout a few clusterbombs.



Well, here ends everything. Shunned by my family. Since I'm all set and ready I'd rather try to go out, but now I have a warning that they are going to cut electrical power in 4 hours for maintenance and i still need to do laundry and wash my extension. God Damn it.



BTW, I was wearing the same combinantion as on friday, the one that mad me feel so good. Almost my lucky jacket. Maybe it protected me from something worse...

Apple, keep your chin up love. Some parents just don't understand that they are suppose to love their children no matter what, not just when it is convenient for them. *hugs tight* I personally think you look beautiful!

You poor thing
Hugs for you
I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem like there's much left you can do. But that is pretty stupid, you don't live at home anymore, and are outcast by your family, but he still expects you to do things for him? I'm sorry, but that just won't fly. You're a beautiful person, and don't deserve to be treated like that.
In the end, you have to do what you think is right. If you think there's no hope left for your father and have to leave, so be it. If you think that there's still an ounce of compassion in your father and you want to try and dig it up, so be it. Follow your heart, and it shall lead you in the right direction.
You've been a great help to me, I'm sorry I can't be of one to you.

I'm sorry that your family is doing this to you but you know what? Fudge 'em all, you don't need them! You're a strong, caring, lovely woman and you don't need any of their negativity anyways!

*BIG HUGS*

Please feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk.

Amy

Quote from: Willow on October 13, 2013, 11:52:31 AM

You've been a great help to me, I'm sorry I can't be of one to you.

Just be careful with your testicles, OK? You need that skin.


Sorry, I'm being over the top sarcastic. It's what I have left. I have no T, so I can't have a tantrum, shout or do anything I'd do before.


And I did not tell him I was 6 months HRT in case he is called by the shrink and he slips.


Oh, and BTW, Christmas is in less than three months. My second ever christmas completely alone.


TOS #8

Quote from: Apple Sprout on October 13, 2013, 12:05:19 PMJust be careful with your testicles, OK? You need that skin.

Sorry, I'm being over the top sarcastic. It's what I have left. I have no T, so I can't have a tantrum, shout or do anything I'd do before.

And I did not tell him I was 6 months HRT in case he is called by the shrink and he slips.

I plan on it. I'm headed to WalMart after laundry, shower, and some food. I won't touch the genital area quite yet until I get used to the thing.

It's OK, we all need to vent. Vent so the pressure doesn't compound and cause you to explode. Exploding Apples are no good

And likely he would. He sounds like, at the moment, he wants the old you back. Good call.


Edited quote

Sprout-

I'm sorry that your dad is not being a nice person. I think you look great in your picture too.

Sometimes you have to  cut toxic people out of your life to keep a grip on your own sanity. I've had to do it with my own parents over a non-trans thing; they were mentally abusive and accused me of things I didn't do and of motivations I didn't have. After a few years of it I said "enough" and quit making any effort. After a couple of years went by they actually contacted me, and we now have a sort of relationship but it's on my terms.

It was the hardest thing i've ever had to do, but it turned out to be the right thing to do.

Anyway, I hope that you find some resolution for this situation because you are a beautiful person that doesn't deserve this.

~Eva

Maybe return the "HDD", and let him know you won't repair anything else for free? Gotta set boundaries of what is, and is not, acceptable.

What's the worst he could do? Disown you? Now you can say BTDT!

Quote from: Eva Marie on October 13, 2013, 02:41:01 PM
Sprout-

Sometimes you have to  cut toxic people out of your life to keep a grip on your own sanity. I've had to do it with my own parents over a non-trans thing; they were mentally abusive and accused me of things I didn't do and of motivations I didn't have. After a few years of it I said "enough" and quit making any effort. After a couple of years went by they actually contacted me, and we now have a sort of relationship but it's on my terms.

Think of this: The shrinks were going tell me that I was a fake case and did not have any GID. One month later they said "What a change" And over the next ones they tell me that did not believe me and now are fully convinced.

Why? Because I fled that toxic envoronmet. I started Living here in April, and that's the month I started wearing make-up every day. Before the end of the month I went out as female,and the next day I showed myself as Noah to my Friends. In June I made my situation at work official, in August I was struggling to increase the female days, and by now by October I'm full time. Removing my toxic parent that were just a big stone on my transition were the thing that changed my life.

But in the end, there was no balance. It's either my transition or my father (My mother is out of my life FOREVER already, and for good)


The biggest motive I called him for was because I needed their financial help again. I rejected it after being insulted by mother, and I had to crawl back and request it again (it was freezing and I needed a coat). I better ask him to transfer it directly to my savings account. If I could spare money I would get a subscriber account (sex questions are starting to pile up), but I'm in no particularly good spending collection. And i still donated a bit for red cross yesterday.


The HDD is busted, the head is skipping all the time, so I'm not bothering about it. I already told him to make aditional backups. The problem is that now I have more trash in the storage.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on October 13, 2013, 02:50:31 PM
Maybe return the "HDD", and let him know you won't repair anything else for free? Gotta set boundaries of what is, and is not, acceptable.

What's the worst he could do? Disown you? Now you can say BTDT!

or you could take it apart and really break it, maybe to the point it burns and ruins his computer.......   but then again this is my viscous side wanting too snap back ,I cant stand parents who do these sort of things to their kids. Your a grown adult, and need to discover your way in the world to find your happiness, not theirs, they should find happiness in the fact that their child is happy.
I'm sorry you are having to experience this, you seem very happy now - good for you don't let the toxicity of your parents poison your soul, it ain't worth it darlin .

Good Morning.... Well, more like Bad Morning. My Anger builds up slowly, but having slept 6 hours is contributing to feeling like crap. Between yesterday's and that today I have to met a knew doctor to check on my sick leave, the urge to revert is back there.

I'm fully dresses since first of the morning, but... Look, I don't care about my parents, or I don't want to care, it's just that stupid love/whatever thing that can't understand when a relationship is over. We agreed that I would not appear female if I wanted to see my grandparents, due to them very ill, too old and in no conditions to understand this, maybe once in a month. But I'm seriously upset about yesterday. I though they would finally see me as a normal human being, but nope. And no matter how many times I am  told to keep the chin up and let the mud slide, this things rot you from inside.

I'm going to see If I can get some family counseling at the LGBT support asociation, but this does nothing for my overal stress and anxiety. Today I feel like the world is going to fall over me. I'm still not saying anything about the HDD, because I don't want to act normal and cool on the phone, but I need the monthly money I receive from them in order to survive.

i'd gladly let you in my house with those looks.

all these stories of horrible parents make me so sad...

i don't think there's any way i could make myself throw out my child, no matter how old or different from what i thought they would be. i'd even help my troublesome siblings if they need it, could never learn to hate any of them either.

its pretty sad how parents could hate their kids so much. i wonder if if some of them have a dream of what you want to become and if you didnt fulfill their dream, your not worth it.

I know full well how that feels.  I told my Dad 20 Plus years ago that I want to transition and his response was "Not in my house".  I was house sitting for them at the time.  And that one comment sent me back into the closet for the next 20 years plus.

I did not transition until after Dad passed.  He and Mom never got to meet their daughter.

Apple, you need to do for you and NO ONE ELSE!  And don't waste your time fixing anything without pay.

Meanwhile, Panda Pile on Apple Sprout.