I made a post on some good news, but the post did not go through and I lost everything I wrote. So this is going to be a shorter version.

I know most of my post have been depressing so I thought I'd make a happy post.

The good news is...  my mom finally came around. She's trying now to call me Dominick and use male pronouns. Most of the time she just uses the first 2 letters of my female me, but she knows she's gotta switch over now and use the right pronouns and name. In public, she will use the right name and pronouns though. Anyone who remembers my posts from years ago knows that my mother and grandmother would upset me a lot. They were never unacepting, they just didn't understand a lot.

My mom understands a lot more now and is very supportive now. She even offered to give me my T shots, can you believe that??? That's a miracle!  She was so upset when she found out I was on T years ago. I still get my shots from the nurse. But it's nice to know if I ever need Someone to give me my shot, my mom would do it.

I prayed that my mom and grandmother would come around and understand and God answered my prayers.

My grandmother won't call me Dominick or use the right pronouns, but we came to an agreement that uses no names or pronouns. She calls me, "grandchild"... I can live with that. She says she totally understand everything, she's just not able to use the right name or pronouns so that's why we came to an agreement with using no names or pronouns... For now. Hopefully someday she will call me Dominick and use the right pronouns. But for now, she's working with me.

Of course my mom and grandmother slip up, but I just have to keep reminding them.

Also, my mother said she will go with me when I get my top surgery. Though, I still don't have a steady job yet, but as soon as I do I'm booking my surgery.

I think I'm setting a record of being the longest ftm on T without top surgery. Coming up 3 years on T and still no top surgery yet. I'm about to shut down if I don't get my surgery before my cousins wedding.

Sorry to end the post on a downer. I tried to make a happy post.

That is great news!

We have to make compromises that we can live with.  Your Mum sounds fine, your g'mum is old and it is difficult for them.

Whooops sorry that your first congrat is from a woman, but we are brothers and sisters and we understand!

Hugs

Cindy

Thanks Cindy.

That's great Dominick, it's nice to see people finally come around.

Big hug! Things are going in the right direction for you. Thanks for sharing this with us! Hugs, Devlyn

That is great news! Glad to hear it!

Did anything significant happen recently to make her come around, Dominick, or did it really just sort of instantaneously occur?

Sounds fantastic.

If I were in my 20s or 30s, I would have been on T for 3 years without surgery. I don't think we can give you any kind of record. I've definitely heard of higher. Hang in there!!

--Jay

Thanks guys.

Quote from: supremecatoverlord on October 18, 2013, 11:41:13 AM
Did anything significant happen recently to make her come around, Dominick, or did it really just sort of instantaneously occur?

I'm not really sure. Little by little she was dealing and trying to understand, and finally It seemed like all of a sudden she came around, like i understand more and this is who you are now. I mean a year or so ago, on the way home from my uncles wedding she told me I could wear a suit and tie to my cousins wedding b/c she knew how badly I wanted to wear one at my uncles wedding, but couldn't at the time.


I'm not sure when she'll start regularly calling me Dominick, but once in a while she'll make the effort. I guess it's just werid to change over to Dominick b/c she's been using my old name for so long.


@ aleon515:  Thanks. I'm just wondering how these young teens and everyone else on on YouTube are getting their surgery...? I guess everyone has a steady job but me.

Quote from: Dominick_81 on October 18, 2013, 11:40:52 PM
@ aleon515:  Thanks. I'm just wondering how these young teens and everyone else on on YouTube are getting their surgery...? I guess everyone has a steady job but me.

Yes, I sometimes wonder the same thing. I think some people focus solely on raising the money (like a few guys on here dropped out of college to work full time to save), but others are just very lucky and have supportive parents with the financial means to pay for their top surgery out of pocket. Even if my family was supportive, I know they don't have the means to just hand me $8-12,000 to get surgery. (I also once asked another small transguy who was younger than I and didn't have a steady job where he bought his clothes, and he said that he goes on trips to Japan to go clothes shopping and said "it's not expensive to spend a week in Japan to go shopping", lol yeah. . . I can't afford to go clothes shopping at Macy's so I think a plane ticket and hotel stays in Japan is out of my price range.  Some people are just lucky to come from money, but we shouldn't feel jealous about it.)

I recently met a transguy in person who didn't have a steady job, but got top surgery because it was covered on his university's health plan. Some school's health plans are very comprehensive and cover trans related surgeries and other health needs.

I'd just say don't let it get you down (even though I know that's hard to do).

Thats really awesome! I'm happy for you now that they are coming around

Quote from: Dominick_81 on October 18, 2013, 11:40:52 PM
@ aleon515:  Thanks. I'm just wondering how these young teens and everyone else on on YouTube are getting their surgery...? I guess everyone has a steady job but me.

A steady job would help but I also think having the ability to save goes far! If you dont have to pay for food or rent, saving is pretty easy! Last year, when I was 17, I worked as a casual at McDonalds while I was studying and made a total of $16,000 I spent most of it on a car haha

Congratulations!

Quote from: harlee on October 19, 2013, 01:22:45 AM
Thats really awesome! I'm happy for you now that they are coming around


A steady job would help but I also think having the ability to save goes far! If you dont have to pay for food or rent, saving is pretty easy! Last year, when I was 17, I worked as a casual at McDonalds while I was studying and made a total of $16,000 I spent most of it on a car haha

I definitely agree with this. I finally have a steady income, and I'm normally a good saver, but between getting used to being paid monthly and peer pressure to go out shopping (costs a lot in transport even if you don't buy anything) I've not done very well this month compared to what I would have probably saved. Next month I'm definitely going to save more.

Some people live in the UK as well, where we have the NHS, which explains why some guys can afford to have it younger.

Quote from: Dominick_81 on October 18, 2013, 11:40:52 PM
Thanks guys.

@ aleon515:  Thanks. I'm just wondering how these young teens and everyone else on on YouTube are getting their surgery...? I guess everyone has a steady job but me.

Well we aren't all of equal family means and so on. My parents at this stage of my life are deceased, and I was pretty low income in my early 20s. If my parents had accepted this they might have helped me out. I know that happens. Also I know that some younger people have better jobs or are able to hold multiple jobs. Of course those in the NHS or other country with coverage for trans surgeries.

A Mickey Dees job, however, steady won't help much. You are going to be just affording the basics of life, if that.


--Jay

Thanks guys.