Honestly, although it is helpful to many of you, I don't think I can do it, because I had a really bad experience with psychologists when I was a kid. Like a lot of us, I was picked on by the kids at school for being different, and I fought back and acted out. After my sessions with the school psychologist, he recommended to the principal that I be put in special education. He also convinced my parents that I needed therapy and I saw more psychologists and psychiatrists than I care to remember. I'm sure with my luck, if I saw a therapist wanting to get my gender dysphoria diagnosis letter, I'd instead get diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder or something and get committed for my own safety.


Psychology is so stupid anyway, one day everything Freud said was seen as fact, the next day it's all wrong, one day homosexuality is a mental illness, the next day it's not. I have a feeling one day gender dysphoria will not be either.

Baby, our stories are identical. I was actually abused by therapist's and psychiatrist's from about 1971-1975. I know first hand what you went through, but I started to see a therapist at OSU (a doctoral candidate) and they are a new breed today. I have actually relaxed and formed a trust with my therapist that I could only imagine long ago. It has been very good for me and when he officially diagnosed me with Gender Dysphoria I knew I had made the right choice to see him as it made HRT much easier to obtain. I know we should not have to prove ourselves to anyone before treatment and it is not fair, but you have to play the game if you want to change and do it in a healthy way. Just relax and check out the therapy options in your area. I was a Paramedic/Firefighter and thought I knew it all and did not need any help at all. It took a while to have the courage to walk in his office, but I did it and do not regret it for an instant. I am on the road to becoming who I should have been all along. Please do not skip this VERY important step. If you don't believe me read the stories of others here and how they had to learn to trust to let the real them out and enjoy life for maybe the first time in their lives. PM me if you have ANY questions on this or anything else. BIG HUG!! 

I second Jessica's post and invite you to PM me, too...

Therapists these days are a very different breed, and a good gender therapist will talk to you, listen to your concerns, and help you.  My GT is very practical and helpful.  She understands that I am going to her to get a letter, and has offered her services in going over a number of legal things like name changes, etc.  She has built a list over the years of trans friendly doctors *and* the ratings her clients give her. 

So I know the endo she recommended is a good one; she's sent many trans* men and women to her over the years and has gotten glowing reviews.  I've recently asked her to research trans aware GP's in the area and she is working on that for me.  She understands my concerns about being tall and passing, and is setting up a meeting with a successful, tall trans woman she has helped who has helped her in the past. 

Also, she has never once asked me to tell her about my mother.  After listening to my reasons for being there and being reassured I know what I am doing, she is focused on who I am and where I am in my transition, and how to get me to where I need to be.

That being said, there *are* ways to transition without a therapist (read the WPATH standards), but given the help my own has been on a purely practical level, I can't imagine why I would want to transition without one.

*hug*

PS- I see Miss Bungle weighed in before I could hit "Post"... still posting this because there are *some* insights left...

As someone who has seen more than a dozen therapists, psychologists, counselors, and psychiatrists, I share your skepticism.

I once did an inventory. A third of them actually helped me a lot. A third of them did nothing. And a third of them did damage of some kind. And they all took my money.

All of that was decades in the past. I hadn't seen a therapist since the 1980s. At 52, I'm a stable, well-adjusted, longtime parent and professional who manages her personal and professional affairs effectively. I resent having to see a therapist just to "prove" I'm competent to decide what gender I am.

That being said, my insurance company is footing most of the bill for my current therapist, and I find seeing her somewhat helpful.

My father was a psychologist and one of the most unstable people I ever met.  So no, I don't like them.  However, I needed to find one so that I could get HRT.  I took two months and found a good one having I screened a whole bunch before I found her.  She's good.  I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her guidance.  So, I guess they can be OK.

I also think you were right.  One day they will find a genetic cause for our condition.  I can hardly wait.

Hugs,

Jen

The worst part was not that they convinced my parents and principal something was wrong with me, after years of special education and therapy, they eventually convinced me there was something wrong with me, that it was me that was being antisocial, that I was different in ways other than being trans*, that I was a bad person. It really took me decades to get past that. Going to a therapist to me is going back to that place, thinking there is something wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me, there's something wrong with society, and if anything it's the kids that pick on gay and trans* kids that need therapy and special education. I think I'd rather not transition than ever go to a therapist again.

I could be wrong, but I think WHO you choose as a therapist will make all the difference in the world. Just like choosing a friend or partner. Each one is different. Some good some bad.

And you can shop around, too! I talked to my therapist on the phone for about 15 minutes first and didn't look any further, but there's nothing saying you can't call a few and choose.

Therapy isn't about the therapist... it's about you. If the therapist gets in the way of that, you need a different one.

Quote from: VeronicaLynn on October 25, 2013, 01:06:38 PM
The worst part was not that they convinced my parents and principal something was wrong with me, after years of special education and therapy, they eventually convinced me there was something wrong with me, that it was me that was being antisocial, that I was different in ways other than being trans*, that I was a bad person. It really took me decades to get past that. Going to a therapist to me is going back to that place, thinking there is something wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me, there's something wrong with society, and if anything it's the kids that pick on gay and trans* kids that need therapy and special education. I think I'd rather not transition than ever go to a therapist again.

I can totally relate,

Since I was a kid I been dignosed, and sent to psycologic conversations over and over because people didn't get WTF was wrong with me?
aparently I was just "diffrent" and being trans and general having a queer mind is sure pretty challenging specially when you dont exist in the sociaty. I had to talk to diffrent adults each week for years who didnt knew anything about being transgender. its always something about I have to educate them about being trans and there speakless and knows nothing or also they are ignorant and try to talk it agenst me.
-
So yeah I also had pretty bad experience with them, the psycologict I got now is probably a nice guy but as mention he dont have much knowlegde what its like to be trans which make it seams kinda pointless.
-
despite the fact I feel almost traumatic about the psycologic thing I belive its good that transgender are offered a short period of therapy. Transition IS very hard, even when it may bring alot of happyness it can also easy bring sorror with rejection from famly or friends or losing a job and such things.
I think its good for everyone to be able to talk with someone about there transition who wont goship about it, the problem is just that its not always easy to find therapist who really get whats it about, and for sure you dont get anything out from talking to a therapist who works agenst you they have to work with you and suport you in the procces to make the right decisions and to get on the other side as the best part of you.

my friends worked for me as a therapist, =) so if your good good friends you can talk to about everything then its also cool.
I currently do a small protject where I make a list of psycologist which other transgender had good experience with.
sure its not a green card to say that they would atomatically be good, But if someone other trans had a good experience with someone I belive there probably not too ignorant around the whole trans issue and it would make me abit more safe to know than if I went to a random therapist and they would start asking question "what is transgender?"
-

If you have read Freuds three essays on sexuality, you will, like me, have a hard time understanding why anyone listened to a damned word he said. Amongst other assertions, he says that babies deliberately don't defecate, so that they might gain some sexual pleasure from the release. He was a nut job and didn't use scientific methods in establishing his theories, instead he offered personal thoughts based on personal observations as psychology.

I believe the Danish now teach that trans-genderness is not a mental illness now. It's coming.

Quote from: VeronicaLynn on October 25, 2013, 01:06:38 PM
The worst part was not that they convinced my parents and principal something was wrong with me, after years of special education and therapy, they eventually convinced me there was something wrong with me, that it was me that was being antisocial, that I was different in ways other than being trans*, that I was a bad person. It really took me decades to get past that. Going to a therapist to me is going back to that place, thinking there is something wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me, there's something wrong with society, and if anything it's the kids that pick on gay and trans* kids that need therapy and special education. I think I'd rather not transition than ever go to a therapist again.

So find an informed consent clinic or get HRT directly through a primary care physician. Therapy is no longer a required step for any part of transition other than SRS. And if you want SRS you can deal with that when you reach that bridge.

I'd also point out that there are different kinds of therapists. A psychologist is not a psychiatrist is not a psychotherapist is not a social worker. They all have different training models and backgrounds. Maybe find out what the people who abused you were and find a very different kind of therapist?

At the moment I am only seeing my therapist if I feel like I want to talk to someone. She is not pushing me to see her on a weekly basis - mostly it is once per month - but if my insurance would cover that, I would see her more often, of course, but not because I need the therapy, but because she is a nice person for conversation . Also, seeing her is in no way related to my transition, which is supervised by endo, thus doing or not doing therapy is indeed only my choice to make.

Quote from: Akira21 ♡♡♡ on October 25, 2013, 02:28:07 PM

I believe the Danish now teach that trans-genderness is not a mental illness now. It's coming.

they already changed the DSM too from disorder to dsyphoria I think, or they are about to, so that is a step in the right direction here in the U.S. at least.

http://www.hrc.org/blog/entry/apa-to-remove-gender-identity-disorder-from-dsm-5/

this is what happened with homosexuality too - eventually it was removed and left with some sort of placeholder

Good luck finding someone you can work with Veronica. It is worth it to spend time finding the right person. You also don't necessarily have to spend forever with them, depending on how you feel about everything and what the requirements in your area are. There may also be informed consent options available.

There may be something to be said for talking to someone about it even with informed consent, if you can find someone you trust. You may find that it allows you to resolve a lot of the damage that was inflicted from years of dealing with people who didn't understand.

Quote from: Akira21 ♡♡♡ on October 25, 2013, 02:28:07 PM
I believe the Danish now teach that trans-genderness is not a mental illness now. It's coming.

It's still a mental illness in Denmark. But I don't think it dose much to do with freud?
the changing of DSM should help changing it somewhere in the future I belive.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on October 25, 2013, 02:34:49 PM
At the moment I am only seeing my therapist if I feel like I want to talk to someone. She is not pushing me to see her on a weekly basis - mostly it is once per month - but if my insurance would cover that, I would see her more often, of course, but not because I need the therapy, but because she is a nice person for conversation . Also, seeing her is in no way related to my transition, which is supervised by endo, thus doing or not doing therapy is indeed only my choice to make.

I want a therapist like that..

I personally want nothing to do with therapists.

I have found an endo in Denver that will prescribe HRT on the informed consent model, and have found therapists who will write SRS letters after a Skype interview.

I saw a legion of therapists when I was a teen. They could have saved me decades of misery by recognizing that I was trans back then....but instead they prescribed me Valium and collected their fees.

As the OP stated....some people may benefit from a good therapist, but I am not one of those people at this stage of my life. I know what I need, and the safe, proper way to get it, and I don't need permission from a shrink to do so.

Well there is one shrink I saw in the 90s, I'd gladly throw her under a bus.

There is a guy I think was mainly just useless.

I met a nice one in connection with my gender issues.

But my gold star goes to a woman who is really just a case worker. Just a woman with some basic background related training, and not an actual shrink or anything. But she earned my trust over the years. And thanks to many years of talking with her, I don't need the hassle of recanting my life to her when I need to talk about something.

The thing I hate about the field of psychiatry, is the need to spend 3 sessions getting them up to speed on my life story. I have gotten into the habit of telling them to come here, read my posts and then read some of my Facebook page. Well not so much a habit, but a plan.

I don't really need therapy, I just want to be told when it is my turn to get rid of the pecker and his friends and replace it with the right part.
That and the right hormone arrangement. I don't need a therapist, I have my friends at Susan's place when I'm feeling in need of talking. And at least you people understand the topic

I don't want anything more to do with therapists, and I feel I would've come out sooner if I had never came out to my last one. (and she didn't even say anything bad)

Quote from: Sarah7 on October 25, 2013, 02:31:30 PM
So find an informed consent clinic or get HRT directly through a primary care physician. Therapy is no longer a required step for any part of transition other than SRS. And if you want SRS you can deal with that when you reach that bridge.

I'd also point out that there are different kinds of therapists. A psychologist is not a psychiatrist is not a psychotherapist is not a social worker. They all have different training models and backgrounds. Maybe find out what the people who abused you were and find a very different kind of therapist?

I don't really care that much about HRT. It's less important to me because I don't really for whatever reason, have a very masculine body. I do want SRS, really the therapist isn't the primary thing preventing me from having it, it's the money. If I had the money or saw the money I need coming in the near future, I may see things differently.

I wasn't abused, that was another poster, just misunderstood. I didn't really understand what I was doing different, so I didn't really know how to answer the psychologists questions. At the time, I wasn't fully aware I was transgendered, or such a thing existed. I was also not even really gender aware, to where I didn't understand that unicorns, rainbows, and the Smurfs were things that gave off gay signals, I didn't even know what gay was, and that playing with the girls was somehow socially a bad thing, even though they were nice to me and fun to play with, and the boys were mean to me.