I had a first date with a man I met online!! It went very well...a little too well!!! We kissed!! I never planned on this and told myself I would not do this unless I informed someone first....but it just happened and I couldn't help myself...even kissed more than once!! and I like him very very much!!

He knows nothing of my past and doesn't know my full name....if I told him my full name he could easily be able to find out about my past. I have been very truthful with him with almost everything about me....except my name and of course something else! He wants to see me again and I want to see him again sooo much....What should I do?? I want to tell him more but know what it will lead too!!

It was the best kiss I have ever had in my life!! The only good bad thing was it woke up something downstairs I thought had been in hibernation....very awkward!!:(

Baby you are playing with fire. If he does not suspect who you really are he could feel tricked and maybe harm you in some way. You need to be honest with him as soon as you can. Violence is a real concern to me. I would tell him over the net in an E-mail first unless you think he is not violence prone. Still then, be on guard. You know he may not be to thrilled with the news , but you have to tell him now. Don't let it get to the point where the hibernation tells him. Be careful baby, I do not want to see you get hurt or worse. Some here may think this is an over reaction, but you know the road is not exactly paved with rose's for us. We have fierce opposition out there, all of us and people do not like being tricked. Here is a BIG HUG for the strength to tell him as soon as possible. Keep me posted please.

Meet him for lunch in a public place but in a spot with some privacy an tell him. People can and will surprise you.

Another thread where I show up just to agree. 

Jessica is right. Telling him as soon as you can is the best idea. And violence is possible, so don't do it alone or in private. However, I guess I'm just a romantic and want to believe that it work out. I feel telling him in person shows respect, I second Joanna's idea of lunch in a quiet spot at a public area. I hope he sticks around. 

Let us know how this develops. (Yes, I will be living vicariously through you.)

-maggie

Quote from: Joanna Dark on October 30, 2013, 11:57:50 PM
Meet him for lunch in a public place but in a spot with some privacy an tell him. People can and will surprise you.

No, privacy is an invitation for him to harm you with few, if any, witnesses.

Best in an email or in a well-lit public place, with your car unlocked and quickly accessible.

I wouldn't do anything in an email.

If (reading between the lines) you are still endowed with male genitalia, my suggestion would be contacting him and telling him you cannot meet again as you are returning to a previous relationship.

I don't agree you should tell him anything more personal about yourself.

It's no one's business.

There is something positive you can do for yourself...know that another finds you very attractive.  That's always nice, but please learn from this.

Quote from: Kiwi4Eva on October 31, 2013, 12:58:42 AM
I wouldn't do anything in an email.

If (reading between the lines) you are still endowed with male genitalia, my suggestion would be contacting him and telling him you cannot meet again as you are returning to a previous relationship.

I don't agree you should tell him anything more personal about yourself.

It's no one's business.

There is something positive you can do for yourself...know that another finds you very attractive.  That's always nice, but please learn from this.

I have thought of doing this but cannot do that to him....I am also very fearful of telling him the truth....so I may be left with no choice.

I'm not sure what good it does knowing someone is attracted to me....this hasn't been the first....just the first I kissed!! Am I suppose to hold just on to  this memory and move along with my lonely life!!!

I have been totally alone for 8 years....not even hand holding. I guess my need to be held, took over my senses. I have never felt so happy in my life, only to soon have misery!! 

I'm am not the type person to intentionally lie (deceive) I just want to be with someone and try to enjoy life like any other women. I have been attracting men's attention (not saying I'm attractive) for over a year now...it has only been lately that I have invited more then just attention.

When I was young I was a model.  OK only for 6 months.  I was asked to be the face of the eighties for a State in Australia.  I declined, because I knew I couldn't put myself in any danger - and back then it would have been dangerous.  I was very much female then, anatomically.

There are risks.  You need to know this...

On the other hand what if he couldn't care less?  What if he just wants to f..k you.  Many men do.  Even I see men and go weak at the knees (still) but you just have to be sensible about this.

I ended my modeling career myself.  Do you know why?  Because I was sick & tired of being pestered for sex (which I wouldn't provide) in exchange for better jobs.

Know your limits and stay safe.
If you want to play dangerous, then you can, but be aware of the risks.

You have a future to protect.  There will be enough disappointments down-the-road of life.

And you don't have to be like us to experience them, we just deal with more of them.

Hugs

just be careful and honest

You can do it, Shelly! Rejection is scary, but what if he doesn't care? I do agree that you should be careful, but go for it. Love is worth it. (Yep, I'm too much of a romantic.) 

Thank you!!

I have tried to end it...we only seen each other 2 times to begin with! but he doesn't want too....and to be honest I don't either! I haven't seen him again but he has text me quite a bit wanting too.

I have finally emailed him asking if he would accept certain limitations when it comes to sex....I have not told him precisely why I have asked him this...but have said there is something medically that is limiting me but not psychological. I am getting to the point that I would like to tell him more but waiting to see how this goes.

So far he still wants to communicate (and see me) though I am not up for that again just yet. I don't think I can stop him from wanting to do more than just talk. I do not want to do anything more without him knowing the truth!! We have gone fairly far already without him realizing and I need him to know before I do anything else!

It's really tough since I do enjoy his company as well as his touch!

So, you don't want to leave him, and he doesn't want to let you go... 

What more could you want?

So excited for you. YAY!

If this is something you want to see go to another step, I think you will have to find a way to tell him before you go in too deep. I hope it does not sound like that I'm crashing on your happiness, but I have to agree with what was stated before. You are playing a bit with fire here. Sure, fire is warm, luring and beautiful, but if you approach it in a wrong way you can start a fire you can't put out, but fire is something that can also keep you warm.

I really do hope things will work well between the two of you.

You have to tell him. It is good you hinted, but tell him before you meet again. Even if he says he is ok with it, meet in public for a few dates. He may say he's ok, he might not be. You don't want to get hurt because he said he was ok but really wanted to hurt you.

You need to tell him sooner than latter. If not you'll end up getting hurt once feelings start to set in, and he'll be angry you didn't tell him sooner the longer you wait.

If you feel comfortable telling him in person do it somewhere in public like a coffee shop or somewhere where there's people. If not do it through text or over the phone. Also you need to apologize for not telling him before things got physical.

I understand as I've been this situation to many times to count. For future reference don't ever kiss a guy who doesn't know. He'll only be mad and claim you tired to trick him, something we're stereotyped for a lot. Telling him put's you in a position where he's allowed to take things further knowing what he's getting. You don't want to get hurt or worse once he figures things out, and trust me they sometimes do.

Quote from: Janae on November 08, 2013, 04:14:14 AM
You need to tell him sooner than latter. If not you'll end up getting hurt once feelings start to set in, and he'll be angry you didn't tell him sooner the longer you wait.

If you feel comfortable telling him in person do it somewhere in public like a coffee shop or somewhere where there's people. If not do it through text or over the phone. Also you need to apologize for not telling him before things got physical.

I understand as I've been this situation to many times to count. For future reference don't ever kiss a guy who doesn't know. He'll only be mad and claim you tired to trick him, something we're stereotyped for a lot. Telling him put's you in a position where he's allowed to take things further knowing what he's getting. You don't want to get hurt or worse once he figures things out, and trust me they sometimes do.

3 years ago if I would of read the same thing I wrote but from someone else I would of said this is something that shouldn't be done to another person. In many ways I still feel like this...the only difference is that during my transition I somehow became a women!! Yes this was my intention but being a women and being transgendered is much different!

The thing is I am a woman all the way up to the time until any type of personal contact is to be involved. It was never my intention to kiss someone ....especially on the first date...but what am I suppose to do!! tell him...."Oh wait before you may want to kiss me I need to tell you something" on my other prior date I feared he may want a kiss after and avoided it...but he didn't even try anyways. With this man...it was like something out of a movie, he hugged me goodnight...looked at me and just headed right in!!!

Telling me to never kiss a guy that doesn't know my prior history is BS!! even though my intentions are to follow that, if I am going to do that I guess I would need to tell a guy before the first date or at least at the end of the first date. This is one reason I have decided to just forget about being with someone.

I have only just began to feel more secure that I can be attractive to men and men have been flirting and wanting to know me more...I decided that I would accept this attention....only to bring me more problems in my life. I wrote my original post in hopes to get some actual hands on experience. I already knew what many of the opinions others had as well as even my own. What's different from my own opinion (pre transition) and others is the fact that becoming a women and being fully accepted as one by all people including men is something entirely different than transitioning into one!!

It just sucks!!! I am a woman but apparently I need to tell anyone that I may have more contact with that I'm really not one!!!