Cis people don't accept me as a man because I spent and will have to spend the first however many years of my life in an estrogen dominated body and possessing a vagina.
Trans people don't accept me as a man because I'm not on T, I don't pass, I can't present as male at school and I can't go stealth, so apparently I'm not really male and I out trans guys just by existing and asking to be called he.
What's even the point? Why do I bother?

I could  literally copy paste this post replacing the gender and genitalia after today's events. Damn high school brats...



Why do you bother? Because you are a man, and you can do it. It is a god damn awful stage where you will keep hating yourself, but things will have to improve. Trust me, I've been going through hell and it still isn't over, but there is nothing you can't get done with the right spirit. Don't let your body and mind chain you now. I spent far too much time acting that way and in the end, it was just wasted time.

PS: be glad you know you are a man by high school. I wish I would have realised it 15 years ago. It's all about willpower right now.

Quote from: Luke Andrew on October 26, 2013, 09:07:46 PMTrans people don't accept me as a man because I'm not on T, I don't pass

Not true. Just because you haven't got T yet doesn't make you any less of a man to other transpeople. I'm not on E yet, nor do I pass, but other trans still consider me female, and I consider you male, for what it's worth.

Quote from: Luke Andrew on October 26, 2013, 09:07:46 PM
What's even the point? Why do I bother?

Change the second word in your thread title to "always", and there's your answer.

It's who you are.

*hugs*

I know this is hard to do sometimes, but as Gandhi said: "Be the change you want to see in the world." The first step to gaining acceptance is to accept yourself. When you can do that, you gain a confidence and presence of mind that affects people around you. Like ripples in a pond.

I want to say exactly what Sephirah already said. She is wise, listen to her.

Please don't give up, little brother, the alternative is no good at all.

I'm pleased you trust us enough to vent your frustration here. We'll always be in your side, you're family. 

::hugs::

much love,
-maggie

This forum seems much more accepting than most other sites I've found, but it seems like everywhere else, trans guys won't believe you're really male unless you're stealth and you're straight and you pass perfectly and you totally reject everything that's even slightly feminine.

Quote from: Luke Andrew on October 28, 2013, 12:49:13 AM
This forum seems much more accepting than most other sites I've found, but it seems like everywhere else, trans guys won't believe you're really male unless you're stealth and you're straight and you pass perfectly and you totally reject everything that's even slightly feminine.

Here is another way to look at it Luke if they are so stealth why are they online bragging about it? That sounds like the complete opposite of stealth to me. But you'll find they are some people will always look down on you for some reason or another. Your a man don't let them get you down you have nothing to be ashamed of just be yourself that's all that matters.

Quote from: Luke Andrew on October 28, 2013, 12:49:13 AM
This forum seems much more accepting than most other sites I've found, but it seems like everywhere else, trans guys won't believe you're really male unless you're stealth and you're straight and you pass perfectly

Yeah, and I've been told that you are not a woman if you still have a dick and reject GRS. There are extreme A-Holes everywhere. Passing perfectly is an illusion few people can attain, even with hard work.

We do what we can, and the only persons that should be able to judge how we are doing it is ourselves.

Quoteand you totally reject everything that's even slightly feminine.

.

An inversion with me, but if they think I'm going to drop my oversized G-Shock watch or stop watching Z-Grade movies because it is not femenine, They can suck it. Transition is personal and you are the only one who decides up to where you want to bring it.

Only useful thing I heard from the therapist, despite being pressed to appear as female stereotype as possible.

Quote from: Luke Andrew on October 28, 2013, 12:49:13 AM
This forum seems much more accepting than most other sites I've found, but it seems like everywhere else, trans guys won't believe you're really male unless you're stealth and you're straight and you pass perfectly and you totally reject everything that's even slightly feminine.

maybe you should rethink on that, cos what ive seen in this forum is the exact opposite of what you said. have a look around the site, nobody hesitates to call you in pronouns you prefer, no matter what stage your transition is at. plenty of us here are not on T and some have never even tried to pass, like myself. and of course ive seen many gay transguys around here, some even happily married. as for your last sentence, you really should read through the ftm board. i specially recommend the thread man enough which ran very active sometime earlier. dont worry dude, this family adopts you even if you just realized you're trans a second ago.

I'd really like to know what websites you're talking about. I haven't been around any that were anti-open about being trans or anti-gay and anti-fem. There are plenty of straight men out there who like fem things, and plenty of gay men who like masc things. Anyone who's trying to make you feel bad for who you are is 100% guaranteed to be miserable inside their own minds.

Luke, being a man has nothing to do with your hormones or your physical mutations. You are a man because you identify as a man.
You are lucky that you are a young man; men when the go on T have generally wonderful results, so just hang on in to the happy day.

Oh at school there are many men both cis and trans who have enormous issues in expressing there identity. It is part of our development as humans.

There are days when men and woman feel really bad and there is nothing on the horizon to look forward to, but horizons are false, they change the closer you get to them. So stand on the shoulders of your brothers and sisters; you get a better view that way.

Hugs my young brother and keep walking the walk.

Quote from: randomroads on October 31, 2013, 01:59:22 AM
I'd really like to know what websites you're talking about. I haven't been around any that were anti-open about being trans or anti-gay and anti-fem. There are plenty of straight men out there who like fem things, and plenty of gay men who like masc things. Anyone who's trying to make you feel bad for who you are is 100% guaranteed to be miserable inside their own minds.

The worst of it is on Tumblr. It seems like I'm expected to just pass and start being stealth immediately. So many people post stuff like "real trans guys never call their gender an identity", "fake trans guys are just making it hard for us real guys to get T", "femme trans guys are just girls who want to be special snowflakes", that kind of thing.

Also, it feels amazing to be called "brother". Hugs all around.

I've been having the same problem. When I came out everybody was stoked for me but now that I have hit a stalemate with my transition it's harder. I wasn't able to start T due to financial issues and lack of any type of health insurance and now everybody doesn't think I'm serious and have reverted back to refering to me with feminine pronouns. It sucks, but all you have to remember is you determine who your are. WE ARE MEN whether we are on T or not or whether we act masculine or not. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.