I hope I am doing this right, I've never really been a part of a real forum before and am still getting used to using them! I have been skimming this sites forum every now and then for a while, though, I've only just now got the courage to make an account for it. (I actually kept having to get up and walk around a few times before I could write anything down here, heh, wow, I guess I'm just super nervous about joining in here on things I've been taught I shouldn't think much less talk about.)
Um, but to the actual introduction here: I am DFAB and questioning. I have been tentatively identifying as genderqueer for a few months now, to people online and one or two select friends, but I just don't feel that it's...me. I feel like I'm actually, truly a guy. I do enjoy some stereotypical feminine things, and occasional feminine dress but when I dress like a "girl" I've always felt in in the way of crossdressing, if that makes sense? I've always tried to push away from being pushed into the box of female for as long as I could remember; I would try and imitate the boys more than the girls, I even told my cousin once when we were young that I wish I had been born a boy, because we were so similar I was sure she'd understand, but her reaction had me too scared to bring it up again.
I have always got along with boys more than I have with girls, though as I've grown older I find it harder to fit in with most people do to my anxiety disorder, which as I've been looking into myself I think might have manifested in part (but not all) because of my gender. I am okay with neutral and feminine pronouns sometimes but a lot of the time lately I just feel like curling up and screaming to not be called by them. I'm just so scared to tell others I might be a transman, because what if I'm wrong? That terrifies me more than anything, feeling confident in what I am and telling others but coming to realize it was all wrong.
I've known I was bisexual for a long time, but I don't really think it has any basis on my gender identity? I kind of just like everyone if their personality is attractive enough, though I'll admit to a prefer for women.
This got kinda long winded, heh, sorry! But anyway, I'm definitely excited (nervous, but excited) to hopefully participate in discussions on here and discover more about myself.
Oh, and: as I'm still questioning, I wasn't sure what to make my name on here! So I chose to use a name from Greek mythology, Tiresias, until I figure something out.