Quote from: FrancisAnn on November 06, 2013, 05:46:21 AM
I hate all the hoops we are forced to jump thru just to have one life. I'm now in my mid 50's. I knew I was a girl/woman since childhood & so many times I tried to improve my life, so many therapists, talk, talk. Having to wait & wait for something.

Yes, same here. You must also be in the U.K? the hoops I went through for 20 years were unforgivable!

Quote from: FrancisAnn on November 06, 2013, 05:46:21 AM
Anyway my vent for the day. Going shopping today for some new dresses with a nice cis woman friend.

I don't like dresses. Funny that! but I don't. For a start I don't have the legs for it and I prefer skinny jeans and boots!

Naturally Blonde. No I grew up in rural Alabama, USA. No one would even think about changing or correcting gender in my early years. All just ignored it. I was stuck, just stuck.

It's my fault that I did not change years & years ago. I never had the money. Fired from several jobs for trying to dress & become a woman & work.

Now kind of retired with $ & past time I made some real changes to my body.

Love dresses & everything really as normal/a woman. Live full time & having electroysis to eliminate that ugly problem.

Please have a great day your way, girl friend.

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on November 06, 2013, 04:27:25 AM
Emily, I would have loved to have children but I wasn't fully functional as a male and couldn't facilitate that opportunity. It was very hard when I saw all my friends with kids and always left me tearful. It is a huge gap in my life no having kids. You are very lucky to have the 'best of both worlds' as you put it.

Trans* women can have kids... adopt! Still... even that is difficult to do.

I have kids from my marriage. It's painful to be the male in that, but it is still rewarding. I know that if I knew what lay ahead, I would have chosen to transition earlier - before getting married... I'm glad I did not have that knowledge. The "best of both worlds" is also much, much more painful than the alternative. Who we are can cause a lot of pain in others' lives - which isn't to say it's our fault (rather it's theirs for their unacceptance, or at least society's for building that hate and fear). Given the chance, I'd have spared them the pain.

We carry a lot of that pain too - but I hope I'm thinking of them in this more than of myself. If it was all about me, and given that knowledge of what was to come, the decision to have the kids and screw everyone else would lie closer to equal... (despite the hardships I'll be heading into myself). Sparing others their pain, or at least lessening it, is what I want.

I've spent my whole life in terrible pain because my  body was wrong. I've done every thing in my life to get rid of the pain. drugs, cross dressing ,prostitution  denial, abstinence many years of psychotherapy. I thought for a very long time that being transgender was just another name for prostitution. I've learned I was so wrong. I'm just beginning to transition. I've decided to accept myself for who I am and fully embrace my self as a transsexual .  It's not going to be easy but it's truly my only path forward. Besides all humans are genetically split evenly male and female. To answer the question  I love being trans.

In a word, yes. I hate it. I don't hate it in the sense that realizing I was transgender made me miserable. If anything the opposite, starting to deal with my gender identity disorder has made me happier than anything I can remember doing. But it's also made me realize how badly I missed out on what my life could have been if I'd just been born a girl in the first place. The experiences I might have had, the people I might have known, the things that I'll never be able to have... It has all started to weigh on me pretty heavily. A few times over the past two weeks, when I've been by myself, I have just broken down and started crying because of how badly I wish I could have those things. I would give anything to be able to go back in time and just fix that one screwed up chromosome that made my life miserable for so many years. The sick irony is that while the tools we have available now to deal with gender identity disorder are far better than nothing, in another century or two I think we'll probably have the technology to just put someone in a new body any time they feel like it. So basically, I am the victim of a genetic coin flip gone wrong, and/or being born 100 years too early. Yea, I know, it could always be worse, but somehow that doesn't make me feel any better...

I don't think anyone would choose to suffer from GD, but what I really hated was the feeling that there was nothing I could do about it, especially transitioning.  Would I prefer to be cisgender either way?  Probably.  Who's to say?

All I know is most of my fears of transitioning turned out to be unfounded, I'm happy now and eating a bullet is now off the menu.

I don't hate being me anymore and having hope for the first time is priceless.  I will be along for the entire ride.

Quote from: evecrook on November 06, 2013, 01:41:16 PM
I love being trans.

Me too and it is sooo much better than hating anything!

Quote from: Jill F on November 06, 2013, 03:21:25 PM
I don't think anyone would choose to suffer from GD, but what I really hated was the feeling that there was nothing I could do about it, especially transitioning.  Would I prefer to be cisgender either way?  Probably.  Who's to say?

All I know is most of my fears of transitioning turned out to be unfounded, I'm happy now and eating a bullet is now off the menu.

I don't hate being me anymore and having hope for the first time is priceless.  I will be along for the entire ride.

I find your dynamic journey priceless and feel delighted to share the ride with girls like you!

Crank up the music and rock on girls!

I love being a woman. For me, it's like Christmas every day. Does it ever end? I never predicted it could feel this great. I never felt so alive. Can you call it gender euphoria? I'm a woman, but being trans was infinitely better than being imprisoned for life in a male body.

I admit, trans is a necessary evil. A means to an end. However, keep an unwavering focus on that goal and experience transition blossom into womanhood. Dreams are possible.

I have my good days and my bad days. Some days i love every second of being a woman, i love getting to do my makeup, paint my nails, wear a skirt or dress, or even wear tighter fitting jeans. But then some days i hate every second of it. I barely do anything those days. I may shower but not shave anything, not think about makeup, or any of the other things that normally bring me so much happiness in life. Some of those days i even end up collapsing in the shower crying my eyes out asking God why me....why can't i just be happy with the body i was born in, why does He hate me so much, why couldn't i have just been born a girl inside and out....why?

Sorry if this post triggers anyone and before yall suggest i seek therapy I'm already on meds for my bipolar but some days those aren't enough.

Hi Kari Ann I know exactly how you feel my weeks are full of ups and Downs I also suffer from bipolar and chronic depression but as you said meds only do so much most days I'm OK with it all but there's other days where I don't even get out of bed mostly I try to find something positive to focus on each day whether its feeling good by wearing a sexy bra and panties or on a bad day ignore it altogether and just be a man for the day .

I wish you the best of luck on your journey

Emily.T xx

I avoided posting for a long while I formulated an opinion.

I agree with those who said regrets for not doing something at and early age.

I hated myself for all but the last 9 months. I am learning to live as me, which feels wonderful. People who are ignorant and are bigots suck.

life might have been easier born with female body parts ,but my problem with that idea is that if I was born a genetic female I might have wanted just as bad to be male. The problem might be a defect that goes beyond gender and I'd be in the same boat. I just love the Idea of being a woman.

Quote from: evecrook on November 06, 2013, 08:01:57 PM
life might have been easier born with female body parts ,but my problem with that idea is that if I was born a genetic female I might have wanted just as bad to be male. The problem might be a defect that goes beyond gender and I'd be in the same boat. I just love the Idea of being a woman.

I don't fear that because I don't understand it (sorry guys!!!!!)

As a cis woman, I would not have fully appreciated what I had been given. As a trans woman I appreciate what I don't have.

Quote from: Elsa.G on August 23, 2012, 02:59:45 PM
Ive met people before who don't really mind it, but honestly i hate it. I hate every aspect of it and would definitely prefer to be genetically female more than anything else. -_-

I hate every aspect of it and would definitely prefer to be genetically female more than anything else. -_-

Truthfully I've been browsing this forum throughout the day. Aside from seeing Ranma I think the overall feeling I got was negative. There's no way of putting it, but being born Cis is better than this. I'm 19, almost 11 months hrt, I almost never leave the house and when I do it's Starbucks, drive through, salted caramel frappucino please. Truthfully beyond that I'm nothing but hopelessness and uncertainty.

Depression, heartache,  a longing to change my birth gender.

I guess it's better than trying to live as male, which is where I'm stuck at now, and there is the hope that things can change, but with so much doubt, lack of family support and envy, jealously that manipulates my emotions constantly.

Do I hate being trans? Yes, but I hate being male more.

BB, find some friends, open up some, trust me it is not good at all for yourself to hold this inside.

Quote from: FrancisAnn on November 06, 2013, 09:32:47 PM
BB, find some friends, open up some, trust me it is not good at all for yourself to hold this inside.

I agree!! It's hard enough transitioning with crazy cis-family...
I'm looking for people just starting out like me in the area... maybe it's time to go to the "local" group (which is NOT on a good night for me).

Quote from: kariann330 on November 06, 2013, 04:23:46 PM
Some of those days i even end up collapsing in the shower crying my eyes out asking God why me....why can't i just be happy with the body i was born in, why does He hate me so much, why couldn't i have just been born a girl inside and out....why?

This pretty much sums up why I became an atheist, despite being raised catholic and going to a catholic school. When I was a teenager I used to lay awake at night for hours just praying that I would wake up as a girl the next day. Of course, it never happened, and eventually I started to get angry and pray that if I couldn't have the life I wanted, why don't you just kill me now so at least I don't have to live a life I hate. But of course, that didn't work either. After having my prayers answered with nothing but cold, indifferent silence, I eventually realized the only reasonable explanations were, that either no one was listening, or that if someone was listening, they didn't care that I was suffering. They didn't even care enough to offer me an explanation, let alone help. I would rather choose to believe that no one was listening than that they were listening and allowed me to keep suffering by choice.

Quote from: BurningBrilliance on November 06, 2013, 09:16:13 PM
Truthfully I've been browsing this forum throughout the day. Aside from seeing Ranma I think the overall feeling I got was negative.

Hehe, I really wonder how many people around here watched Ranma when they were growing up. For me watching Ranma was a method of escapism, but it was one of the most pleasant forms of escapism I have ever experienced. Wouldn't it be great if changing genders was really that easy? I remember on a few occasions, running cold water in the shower and then hopping in for a few seconds just to see if it would work. I didn't really expect it to, but you have to cling to hope where you can I guess. *sigh*

Quote from: BurningBrilliance on November 06, 2013, 09:16:13 PM
Do I hate being trans? Yes, but I hate being male more.

My thoughts exactly. For so many years I tried to just keep living as male and push the thoughts of being transsexual far into the back of my head. I thought that if I just didn't think about it, I could live my life without ever having to confront it. And yet doing so just made me more and more miserable with each passing day. I just couldn't be happy living as a male, even if I couldn't logically explain why I felt that way. Admitting to myself that I am transsexual and that I can't be happy without accepting that I am, has made me feel so much better. While I really hate that I couldn't have just been born as the right gender and been able to live to life I wanted from the start, being transsexual is still way better than having to maintain an identity that is fundamentally incompatible with who I actually am.

The only thing I don't like is the testosterone that used to be in my system, my formally blaming head, body hair and voice. Right now aides from my voice I'm happy to call myself transgender.