As time goes on i feel more and more depressed, every second of every day hurts... I feel trapped and hopeless, the things i do to try and make myself feel better fail (like my counter) and leave me even worse off... I wish for death.

*hugs*

I understand how "time" hurts...Maybe shorten your view a little?

I read somewhere that cadets at West Point (and probably the other academies, as well) sometimes get overwhelmed with thinking "OMG, I'm here for 4 more years!!" so what they do is refocus so that it's just the next 10 minutes...or an hour...until the next break, the next class, the next drill...when *this* one is over.

I do that somewhat, just break down the day until the next hormone pill, the next work shift, the next meal, etc.

Life can suck sometimes, but death...is merely a change in venue, it's probably just as sucky there. Survive this life, day by day, moment by moment.

There is hope, even if you can't feel it.

*hugs*

eta: What happens in 18 months, 1 week, 4 days?

Sure...

For me, it's next failure, next good grade that doesn't count, next time yelled at by my mom, next time bullied...

Less sometimes, more all the time...

Not always...

I get a chance to move out, if I'm lucky, otherwise add 12 more months.

If i don't die soon from myself, then it's just as likely to be from something else, such as lack of food, throwing up everyday, stress, and other stuff...

Long walks can sometimes help. Have you tried that? works best on trails or where you can find nature stuff.

No, mostly cause i don't have the time to.

Bummer, any exercise plan is suppose to help, can you do that at home after work or school or something?

Nope, home i have stuff to do plus I'm too skinny and sick feeling to exercise much.

There has to be something you enjoy doing. If you do not think there is then you just need to find it.
You need to find things to distract you from your issues until you are able to confront them.

Personally I was rather unhealthy and chose things like drinking and computer games. Nothing was solved or resolved but I got through school got good grades and finished my education.

Then again I have never been the suicidal type. You can enjoy a nice smoke, drink or food whatever your gender, in company or alone far as I see it. Only thing that stops you being able to enjoy yourself in such ways is being dead.

PS Just because you are skinny (bet I am more skinny, 6ft and 8 1/2-3/4 stone) and feeling unhealthy (10 years smoking and lazing about on a PC all day) does not mean you cannot exercise. Even I do exercise. Recently started up riding my bike again more regularly and you know what it does make you feel better in a whole bunch of different ways. I didn't believe it either when people say so, but it does.

Big hug! We're all going to die, hon, no sense rushing it. The best thing to do when you feel helpless is to help someone else. That's easy to do here, there's always someone looking for advice or a kind word. Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Seras on November 07, 2013, 10:06:26 AM
There has to be something you enjoy doing. If you do not think there is then you just need to find it.
You need to find things to distract you from your issues until you are able to confront them.

Personally I was rather unhealthy and chose things like drinking and computer games. Nothing was solved or resolved but I got through school got good grades and finished my education.

Then again I have never been the suicidal type. You can enjoy a nice smoke, drink or food whatever your gender, in company or alone far as I see it. Only thing that stops you being able to enjoy yourself in such ways is being dead.

PS Just because you are skinny (bet I am more skinny, 6ft and 8 1/2-3/4 stone) and feeling unhealthy (10 years smoking and lazing about on a PC all day) does not mean you cannot exercise. Even I do exercise. Recently started up riding my bike again more regularly and you know what it does make you feel better in a whole bunch of different ways. I didn't believe it either when people say so, but it does.

That's almost as bad as denying that I'm trans, causing me a lot of stress, distraction will not help.

I'm failing most every class, thoughts of death and stress is distracting to say the least, plus the few good grades i get don't count.

Or law.

I'm about 5 foot 10+ inches and only weigh 100 or so pounds, it hurts how skinny i am.

Doesn't sound like you're living in a healthy environment.  May I ask what is keeping you there?

Maybe it calls for a break from school or a reduction in classes.

Quote from: <3 on November 07, 2013, 12:48:41 PM
Doesn't sound like you're living in a healthy environment.  May I ask what is keeping you there?

Age, as i told you before.

Quote from: LordKAT on November 07, 2013, 12:56:12 PM
Maybe it calls for a break from school or a reduction in classes.

That's not going to happen.

Well if you're old enough to move out on your own, why not do so?

If you're not old enough to move out on your own, I'm pretty sure your mom has a legal obligation to your health and well-being.

Quote from: <3 on November 07, 2013, 01:14:14 PM
If you're not old enough to move out on your own, I'm pretty sure your mom has a legal obligation to your health and well-being.

That she does, does it matter? No.

Except it does matter.  Maybe not to her, but to Child Welfare, it does.  You have to look out for yourself, or find someone who will, if your Mom is not doing the job.

I'm in a very anti-LGBT area, if my mom finds out then at least i know how to deal with that some, plus i have people to help me online here, if i leave to someone else, then it's all at risk.

Get a job, move out of the area?

Still too young.