So I know I don't come around very often... but generally I do fine on my own and all that... until I run into a situation I really don't know what to do with on my own.

I've come to a point where I've gotten... as far as I think I can go without actually stepping up and doing a transition... And I want nothing more than to transition but I've got so much stuff that is preventing it right now... One money is a problem, two I'm going to school full time and I really do need to focus on that... three my mom still has not.. come around I guess to it. We haven't spoken since the day I originally told her and she had a huge fit and all that crap.

My biggest issue of all is I feel depressed off and on. Like I feel like I can't do it, or it will never happen or it won't happen soon enough and it is getting in my way. I have a hard time focusing on things, anything and everything, I feel like I do not "pass" enough despite all the changes I've managed to do.. Or that if I tell this person will it eventually get back to my mom and will she actually kick me out?

I don't really have anywhere to go and even if I do it's not an ideal situation because I'd have to drop school and start working mediocre jobs again and I don't want that. I want a career and that's why I'm in college. But then it's like how much longer can I go on like this? There's some trans therapists in town but I don't have the money to go see any of them and.. You see where I'm getting.

I want to be who I am but I feel so trapped because of it at the same time. The thoughts that have gone through my head lately have, quite frankly, scared me. I need a therapist in general at this point just to get through the week.

I just don't know what to do at this point and it's angering, frustrating, stressful, and I just don't even want to do the things I have to do. Worst yet is I'm falling behind in school because I lack so much concentration from all this stress.

I need options... I need them soon

Honey you are still young and have a full and prosperous life ahead of you.  I would recommend that you find some middle ground to be comfortable with who you are.  Finish your schooling and be ready to start a career as yourself and be happy with your life.  We all have our problems in different ways, but we always find a way to deal with them.  I'm a single parent raising 2 children by myself.  Major setbacks come with this responsibility.
Hugs...and I hope you find the best approach to your dilemma

Quote from: Erin Brianne on November 11, 2013, 08:44:07 PM
Honey you are still young and have a full and prosperous life ahead of you.  I would recommend that you find some middle ground to be comfortable with who you are.  Finish your schooling and be ready to start a career as yourself and be happy with your life.  We all have our problems in different ways, but we always find a way to deal with them.  I'm a single parent raising 2 children by myself.  Major setbacks come with this responsibility.
Hugs...and I hope you find the best approach to your dilemma

Thank you and I bet it's hard when you're a single parent. That would be rough.

I'm doing the best I can and I'm even on antidepressants but I'm thinking I need a dose change or a switch cause I'm not as chipper as I usually am lately, though I'm thinking it's just a natural thing given the situation. I just wish I could do something further and it stresses me when I can't

That's all we can do "is try our best".  These little setbacks or bumps in the road of life only make us a stronger person. You will look back and say wow I overcame all of that!  Find that middle ground I spoke of.  Find a gender therapist and express your feelings to him or her.  Sometimes just having someone to talk with is what we need.  I posted here yesterday because I was feeling depressed.  In writing that post I showed a little more about who I am and received some positive feedback.  Stay positive in what you are doing and in who you are and things will find a way of working themselves out.
Hugs

Quote from: Erin Brianne on November 11, 2013, 09:16:23 PM
That's all we can do "is try our best".  These little setbacks or bumps in the road of life only make us a stronger person. You will look back and say wow I overcame all of that!  Find that middle ground I spoke of.  Find a gender therapist and express your feelings to him or her.  Sometimes just having someone to talk with is what we need.  I posted here yesterday because I was feeling depressed.  In writing that post I showed a little more about who I am and received some positive feedback.  Stay positive in what you are doing and in who you are and things will find a way of working themselves out.
Hugs

Thank you, guess I just needed to hear those things lol