For me -
On a short trip Thursday and Friday my wife and I ate meals at three different casinos in Nevada and California.  We talked to dozens of people and not once was I gendered improperly.  And at each place  when showing my ID to get discounts and club cards I was super pleased to be asked something like "Who's Joe?", or "Is this your husbands ID?".  And near Carson City when I showed my ID to the girl working the guest service desk we ended up talking for at least 5 minutes about the wonders of transition and life.  She said I pass 100%.   Yes, I've been working on my voice and makeup, and I haven't worried about anything for months, so maybe I present with careless confidence.  And you know it really doesn't matter what I've done, because all put together it made for two nice days.

When I tell somebody, and they ask the cis girl next to me if she's trans.

Your post brings a smile to my face 

Isn't it nice? ... There was a thread all about confidence a couple of weeks ago... it's definitely the key.

And I hope you get your new & accurate ID cards soon

As long as you use the dreaded P word you will always wonder, and your own frame of mind wont fit correctly.

AS you evolve you will learn to replace that word with how you present yourself to the world.

From my perspective when people use the P word they are saying they really are not what they are presenting to the world. Instead they are putting forth an image to fool the rest of the world.
Actually my perspective is the same as one of the definitions of the word.

Now to be a bit more specific to your question I will say to you that when your presentation meets what people expect you will stop getting feedback from other people. Mind you that I am more so talking about a presentation on a rudimentary scale, since as you will learn your presentation will be challenged and you will evolve on more detailed situations such as dating, close relationships with people, and many other things.

Ahhh and then finally years after all the dust settles (surgeries done) and your the woman you are there will be this funny thing that happens to a lot of us. We start to second guess ourselves. As I said earlier you no longer have feedback so it can make one wonder at times.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on November 16, 2013, 09:41:31 PM
When I tell somebody, and they ask the cis girl next to me if she's trans.

I'd like that to happen.  But at my age?

Quote from: SammyRose on November 16, 2013, 09:42:50 PM
And I hope you get your new & accurate ID cards soon

The court date is December 5.  Applying for a new license and birth certificate on December 6.

Quote from: Katie on November 16, 2013, 09:43:22 PM
As long as you use the dreaded P word you will always wonder, and your own frame of mind wont fit correctly.

.. your presentation will be challenged and you will evolve on more detailed situations....

Ahhh and then finally years after all the dust settles (surgeries done) and your the woman you are there will be this funny thing that happens to a lot of us. We start to second guess ourselves. As I said earlier you no longer have feedback so it can make one wonder at times.

Agreed.  I'll be growing for years, and should have chosen a better way of saying how I live my life. This past summer was a wonderful learning experience with lots obstacles. And even if I negotiated those roadblocks there's always something more ahead.  So I'm waiting for the day I no longer need, listen, look, or expect feedback.  ....   And now you say I have to second guess everything in five years?  LOL   I'll gladly do it.  Thanks Katie.

The day I went to the beach and got hit on while at the concession stand.

When a woman, knowing fully well that I was splitting up with a female who was the biological mother of my children, asked me who the father of the children was.

When I kissed someone (after a couple dates) and he still had no idea. (His response: "Seriously?!?")

That was before I went full time. From that moment on I've just assumed I pass all the time in public. (Although I still worry about appearances)

The first time would have been in my mid-teens when I first started going out en femme and guys were hitting on me left, right, and centre and ignoring the girls I was with. The assurance was in my early 20s, post-op, when I still had guys hitting on me or spent the night with somebody and he still didn't know I wasn't born "normal female".

Quote from: Katie on November 16, 2013, 09:43:22 PM

From my perspective when people use the P word they are saying they really are not what they are presenting to the world. Instead they are putting forth an image to fool the rest of the world.
ourselves. As I said earlier you no longer have feedback so it can make one wonder at times.

I'm confused and maybe not up to date on the lingo, what is the "P" word??


Well, I am not full-time yet but the times that I have gone out, I show my ID and they look at me like really closely, or guys start hitting on me asking if I want something to drink, or when I'm near the ladies room in a bar or club and ladies start lining up behind me for a while, and then ask me if I am waiting. The first time I ever went out, I thought I still looked like a guy kinda and thought it was easy for everyone to see, but at the end of the night, I had to introduce myself and I told this lady my male name and the shock, and look in her eyes, like, oh wow, was enough to convince me that I will do just fine. I was at a bar/club where a lot of trans people go, and she still had no idea.

Went to a restaurant I frequent after about a 3 month absence. 

Hostess (to my wife): "Where's your husband tonight?"

Me: *waves*

Hostess: *jaw drops*

when random guys in school started asking for my number

Love reading these.  They're all great. 

Quote from: Jill F on November 17, 2013, 11:02:37 AM
Went to a restaurant I frequent after about a 3 month absence. 

Hostess (to my wife): "Where's your husband tonight?"

Me: *waves*

Hostess: *jaw drops*

OMG, LOVE IT

Quote from: Ксениа on November 17, 2013, 10:46:46 AM
I'm confused and maybe not up to date on the lingo, what is the "P" word??

Passing

Quote from: Orange Creamsicle on November 17, 2013, 03:13:28 PM
Passing

Thank you!

When out having a dinner recently with my wife and at the end of the meal the waiter spontaneously handed  the bill to her rather than to me....

I haven't totally passed yet, but when I go out shopping  in dress and high heels I'd get a kick out of guy's looking at my legs. Once I was shopping for shoes and a male sales person called to another sales person that this lady needed help. It's a lot of fun to pass.

Agree with others about that dreaded P word...

It often seems to be symptomatic of lack of belief in the reality of your own identity. Which paradoxically is the very thing which keeps many from actually achieving what they are talking about.

However if we accept that being born trans or intersex will involve some degree of anatomical discrepancy, at very least pre surgery, then it is a nice feeling when you get to a point in life when you can look back and realise that you can't recall the last time that anyone questioned you.

Coming up to medical school this year I kind of ruefully admitted to myself that even nearly 30 years post surgery there had to be a chance that some bright student or well informed specialist consultant/lecturer might put two and two together. I am happy to say it never happened.

When we had our tutorial on trans & intersex conditions, the doctor leading the session was at first puzzled that I seemed so well informed, and then frankly completely and utterly gobsmacked, to the point of speechlessness, when I chose to out myself to him and the class, as gender reassigned Partial Androgen Insensitive Intersex, for the purposes of showing them all how easy it is to be prejudiced. Of course none of them had ever expected to find such a person in their own ranks! They know better now...

And as I have still been elected by them as leading student for the year, you can surmise that there is no lack of acceptance. In my recent exams I thankfully scored towards the top of the class, and this despite being rather older than my compatriots.

By the way another word that is used a lot and it makes me wonder all too often. The word is acceptance..........

What the hell is acceptance? Does it mean someone tolerates others being different?

Not to ruffle too many feathers here but if someone wants to be a trans person then I suppose that word acceptance is applicable. On the other hand if someone is a woman then what does the word have anything to do with it?

I choose the latter. I was born a woman. I had to take the long road to become one to the world but I guarantee you I don't ask for special rites, I don't use the word acceptance, I never talk to non trans people about being trans (nor do I disclose this information to them), and I NEVER use the dam P word. Finally I don't even call myself trans anything. Im just another woman..... nothing more and nothing less.

I hope some of you that are women get what I am saying. If your trans then I am sorry if I said something that was offensive......