I was very fortunate that during my 16th year a slightly younger but much more experienced girl took an interest in me and spent the next 3 or 4 months seducing me.  I could have had sex with her on the first night we dated, but I declined.

I was very interested in the female body (which I felt I should have had) and was encouraged to explore it fully.  I soon learned to bring her to orgasm with my fingers.  When we finally had penis in vagina sex, it was almost an out of body experience for me.  I concentrated on what she must be feeling, and was assured that it was enjoyable for her and she wanted it.  I figuratively stepped outside of my body and let it act as it was meant to do.

I was quite dysphoric as a child, even believing I was really a girl until I was informed otherwise in the first grade. I was convinced that a mistake had been made and would be corrected.

Thanks to the love and care of this girl, I was able to live many years of my life as a hetrosexual male.  I became a very good lover because my mind was on what the woman was feeling and only if things were as the woman wished would I "step aside" and unleash the male body I was living in.  I considered it my lot in life to be the giver of pleasure to women.  Yes, there were times when my testosterone fueled penis demanded that I go in search of something warm and comfortable to put it in.   I never really claimed ownership of the penis though.

Forty years after my sexual initiation, my doctor found I was hypogonadic.  I had very low testosterone and twice the estradiol a man should have.  All my childhood memories that had been repressed for decades came flooding back.

Even though I had let the male body do what it wanted to, I came to realize that it just didn't fit.  I shouldn't have to put my mind to sleep in order to let my male body take over.

In summary I believe I am and have always been transsexual, but I was fortunate to have been taught to work around that.  It worked for four decades before I just couldn't keep up the pretense any more.  It allowed me to have a marriage and family and a respectable middle class life.

I am again fortunate to be married to a woman who has no problem making love to my now feminized body. 

With my sexual life beginning and ending with experiences with loving, caring women who were able to enjoy and share their sexuality, I can only express reciprocal love and admiration.

I love women so very much that I am proud and glad to become one in the later years of my life.

Randi

I guess it would depend on how one defines "virgin" LOL!

I had SRS at 24 and was only with a woman once, just a few months before SRS - I figured I should try it at least ONCE before I switched sides  It was pretty pathetic! I had been on HRT for 7 years and had not the least interest in being with a woman but this girl kept throwing herself at me so .....  I don't know what she thought she was getting but I hope I didn't scar her for life because (for me) nothing worked!  She never said a word about my boobs or my itty-bitty wee willie!  I have no idea what she thought of the whole experience

I had been with men, in a very limited way, from about age 14 onward, maybe a dozen times. I had "the urge" in a big way but I did NOT want to be with a man as a (supposed) male.

(After SRS I only  lasted 6 weeks before officially loosing my virginity  )

Quote from: Natalia on November 25, 2013, 03:28:57 PM
I am sure people will see me as a gay when I tell that I am a MTF but that is not right.

Some people are open to social education, and realize they will become better people for learning about those whom they don't readily understand. I love those people.

Others resist anything that doesn't fit into their narrow worldview. But that's their problem. As long as they don't make it your problem, they're free to wallow in their own ignorance.

If only they know how strong and courageous trans people are. Ignorance is such a shame.

I as practically every other mtf I knew a long time ago
I lost my virginity by 16.  And I hung out with around
20 mtf back in the day.

Some of us are just way more advanced than others
And we knew how to attract men that love mtf.

on reexamination of my life upon reading these stories I guess I do fit the mold. I had a lot of sex with both male and female up until I was 30. to be honest I haven't had sex since then. A combination of dysphoria and fear of aids. My last partner was male and I loved him very much , but things happen and we split. I know for me not having the proper equipment has caused a big problem with wanting a relationship. I guess if I do have sex again its almost like being a virgin, or I fantasize it as such.

Quote from: pebbles on November 25, 2013, 02:06:04 PM
Never used my boy bits so "Technical Virgin" however I definitely wouldn't classify myself as a virgin, As with partners subsequent I've pretty much done everything else you can imagine that doesn't involve using my Bits.

Same. I preferred oral and being pegged, and certainly enjoyed it, but I always felt some shame at the 'technical virginity' part. Even when I really wanted to, I just couldn't get hard enough. What really sucks is, I finally ended up with someone who knew I was transgendered but physically being together, she couldn't get over the fact that I had a penis so she'd respond like I was male and have those expectations of me. And knowing I wouldn't be able to get it up, I just got even more performance anxiety and it never happened. What's even worse, that kind of thing never happened to her so it threw her confidence and ruined subsequent attempts. We still stayed together for a while, and occasionally 'played', but our sex-life just fizzled very quickly. :/

Quote from: Magnolia88 on November 25, 2013, 03:11:35 PM
I've always wanted a boyfriend but I wouldn't know how to be in a gay relationship as a man since that isn't who I am. It really sucks being a heterosexual woman in a man's body. You're not into the women that are into you. You can't really connect with gay guys and the guys you want don't want you because they see a man in front of them. I really can't wait for everything to match and all this confusion can end.

Definitely agree. I'd like to try being physically intimate with a guy, but not a gay guy. A gay guy will obviously treat me like a guy, and while it'd be easier than being with a straight woman since I can at least be the receptive partner, the expectations and attraction will still be different and undesirable. :\ And the expectations (from women anyway) really kill it for me. I may have had a male libido, but my sexual orientation is for straight guys and gay girls, and my brain-wiring is female. I never had that 'mounting' instinct, didn't like initiating, and never got hard enough. So because of all that, and not being gay, I was always doomed to be a 'technical virgin' as a guy.

I just honestly have no desire to penetrate anything. now being penetrated is a different story.

Yup, couldn't bring myself to do it. Been a few occasions where i have had to make excuses not to have sex, and not because i didn't want to, i mean i was very much attracted to them but not as a guy with a girl. Some of these girls got massively pissed off that i wanted to cuddle instead of giving her what she wanted. Ah well, i know how she feels

My true inner desire is to be penetrated vaginally  by a straight man, but can't do it with the equipment I have.

I'm 24 years old and a virgin.  It is a little embarrassing, but I sort of feel weird about sex.  Sure, we all have desires; however, I just don't feel very comfortable with my body and would feel weird about a guy picturing me as a guy (if that makes sense).  Still, I really would like to start dating, so maybe it won't last forever.  Who knows.  It's all about my comfort level with my own body and whether or not I meet the right guy.  To be honest, I'm really not a very sexual person and romance is much more important to me, so I'm okay with waiting until the right moment. 

Quote from: Bardoux on November 25, 2013, 04:59:15 PM
Yup, couldn't bring myself to do it. Been a few occasions where i have had to make excuses not to have sex, and not because i didn't want to, i mean i was very much attracted to them but not as a guy with a girl. Some of these girls got massively pissed off that i wanted to cuddle instead of giving her what she wanted. Ah well, i know how she feels

That used to happen to me pretty frequently. I figured there were a lot of girls in high school who assumed I was gay and struggling with it. I was struggling with something, but it wasn't that.

I miss the intimacy, but I honestly don't miss the sex. But it's hard to find someone who's romantic but not sexual.

Someday.

Quote from: learningtolive on November 25, 2013, 05:55:59 PM
To be honest, I'm really not a very sexual person and romance is much more important to me, so I'm okay with waiting until the right moment.

Heh, funny you should mention that. When I was a teenager, I used to think it was really important that I lose my virginity to someone I really loved, and not just the first pretty girl I happened to meet. In retrospect, guys don't usually think like that, do they?

Quote from: Miyuki on November 25, 2013, 06:12:11 PM
Heh, funny you should mention that. When I was a teenager, I used to think it was really important that I lose my virginity to someone I really loved, and not just the first pretty girl I happened to meet. In retrospect, guys don't usually think like that, do they?

I think exactly this way until today! I believe in true love and I hate to see sex as banalized as it is today...

Old-fashioned and too naive right? But I am happy that there are still people who thinks this way.

I've kept mine for 36 years now, waiting for that special someone. I'm not too bothered by the thought of letting someone else play with the fiddly bits, as long as it's someone I feel safe with.

I have limited sexual experience, (five sexual relationships at age 36) My first sexual relationship was at age 20, but that was l that was it for a while. So, no it was not particularly delayed, but still indicative of me not being well suited to dealing with others socially. My parents were a mediocre example of a couple, with daily screaming fights, the constant threat of divorce, and fundamentalist religious rules. I don't think that prepared me to deal with well with people.

  I'll tell you one thing I'm glad I waited so long for - making my first post in this thread, seeing as Incarlina just chimed in so I'm not alone as the oldest so far!

  I am still a virgin at 36 and can relate to just about everything that's been said so far.  I've actually never been truly ashamed of it - it's more like I feel society expects me to be, and that's what makes me uncomfortable.  I can only talk about it here because nobody I know in my city will be able to connect this online profile with my real-life identity.  The reality is no matter how I feel about it it will be fully misunderstood and/or used against me.  I've only ever told two people - my mother, only to help convince her of why transition is so life-critical to me, and a past close friend who somehow decided to ask me the question but had no way of understanding the answer.

  I think it would be rather unfortunate if I never did get to make use of my male part at least once in my life, but it's very unlikely to happen.  It's not even so much how I feel about the act that would prevent it - It's that I've found women don't know how to respond to my personality and identity.  Even for the few that seemed to have visions of sex with me, it was very clear that they immediately became confused by my atypical behavior.  It was never going to trigger the right instinctive responses in them and I was never going to be enough the aggressor they required.  For a while I blamed myself for some kind of personal failings but I eventually realized it wasn't my fault.  The truth was always that my particular male identity was not compatible with the vast majority of straight women.  Gay women weren't going to see me as a woman, and everyone else either figured I was gay or just completely ignored me.  Now that I understand my leanings and identity a lot better I would really be interested in testing the waters with queer women but having zero dating experience and no exposure to such a social circle I'm at a complete loss as to how to go about doing that.  I am also extremely hesitant to try dating anyone while I'm actively transitioning.  It's ironic that because people conclude erroneously I don't want to be intimate with them they never even give a chance to forming the emotional and mental beginnings of a relationship with me that might lead there.

  I could go on but this is actually really depressing for me to talk about.

Virgin at 28. Had seven chances during high school to have sex with a girl, but I passed them up. When it came right down to it, I found the act of being with a girl revolting. In that time, I had no doubts or regrets being with a guy. I would like to be with a girl once just to experience that side of sex, but I don't think I could go through with it even now. The thought of touching a vagina kinda grosses me out.

That really gives me moments for pause though. I look at women now and think "Wow, she's attractive!" and try to figure out if I am looking at their bodies in a sexual way or more as an appreciation for their beauty? I usually accept the latter as my dysphoria kicks in when I look at women and just feel the male body I inhabit.

I'm a 30 year old man and I've only ever had feelings towards women, but never wanted to make a move on one. One of my uncles often asks me if I have a girlfriend whenever we meet, but the idea of dating a women just feels wrong somehow. Even the simplest act of kissing a women passionately feels wrong to me.

As for sexual intercourse, forget it!! I can only just about watch a sex scene in a film without feeling repulsed.

My virginity has never embrassed me. Period.

In an MtF's mind (and probably a FtM's, too), having sex or even a sexual relationship with the "opposite sex" is like having sex with the the same sex as themselves. Think about it. You know it makes sense.

Quote from: Acodé on November 26, 2013, 12:27:21 AM
That really gives me moments for pause though. I look at women now and think "Wow, she's attractive!" and try to figure out if I am looking at their bodies in a sexual way or more as an appreciation for their beauty? I usually accept the latter as my dysphoria kicks in when I look at women and just feel the male body I inhabit.

That's pretty much exactly how I look at women, too!! I don't think of them in a sexual kind of way very much though. If I was a woman, I wouldn't spend all that time making myself look beautiful just so some guy on the street can think to themselves "man, I'd do it with her any day!!". No thank you!! I don't see women as walking sex machines. I see them more as billboards advertising (meant in the nicest possible way, of course) just how much better the "other side" really is. Then I too get sad about how I look.

I'd like to see how many here feel dysphoric about their genitals and also dislike sex, or are disgusted by it. Because I'm not particularly dysphoric about my penis and I have plenty of interest in and at least decent experience with sex. I just wonder if a correlation might exist.

We need polls damnit! xD