Honestly with T in my system I was attracted to woman, ergh, that's really hard to say. Later I decided I was Asexual which is my current disposition.

I'm 19 years old, never had sex and thank God for it. I'm glad I never had sex with another woman, I'm not a lesbian, I plan on transitioning into a straight woman and after SRS I'll see if my virginity changes.

Forunately I'm 11 months on hormones with no desire in woman and I'm probably sterile by now. Truthfully I think it's better to be a virgin because the only sex I want to experience is as a woman.

Ah I was wondering if this thread might morph that way. My situation is this, for I so love women that I don't just want to be with them I want to be one of them. If I ever have a sexual relationship with a male, fine. I'm not particularly dysphoric about my parts, they just aren't what I want, they cause passing problems, and could be better used for my intending purpose. Since my libido is low on HT, I make it a chore to use my parts intentionally between visits with my SO, not as much atrophy to deal with in the future.

Quote from: Ashey on November 26, 2013, 01:00:43 AM
I'd like to see how many here feel dysphoric about their genitals and also dislike sex, or are disgusted by it. Because I'm not particularly dysphoric about my penis and I have plenty of interest in and at least decent experience with sex. I just wonder if a correlation might exist.

We need polls damnit! xD

For me, I'm not overly dysphoric about my genitals, I'm more indifferent to them. They serve only one purpose, though, since sex is never on my mind.

Quote from: Ashey on November 26, 2013, 01:00:43 AM
I'd like to see how many here feel dysphoric about their genitals and also dislike sex, or are disgusted by it.

For me the genitals have always been the smallest (!) issue; Voice therapy, hormones and hair removal have been more important so I can at least feel I look somewhat 'normal'. And in that sense the genitals are mostly just in the way, and it's a bit annoying to have to dress to keep any protrusions away (thankfully my weight helps with that).

As for sex I'm not as interested in the physical part as I am in the emotional part and simply having someone to hold. Sex would probably be quite possible with the right person, but the thought of it makes me a bit nervous. My fear is that I would be expected to take on a male role. So if I would find someone, I assume I would need a loooong conversation to make sure we understand each other first.

Quote from: Phoenix_2812 on November 26, 2013, 12:55:31 AM
That's pretty much exactly how I look at women, too!! I don't think of them in a sexual kind of way very much though. If I was a woman, I wouldn't spend all that time making myself look beautiful just so some guy on the street can think to themselves "man, I'd do it with her any day!!". No thank you!! I don't see women as walking sex machines. I see them more as billboards advertising (meant in the nicest possible way, of course) just how much better the "other side" really is. Then I too get sad about how I look.

That's how the guys I work with think of women. I just cringe when I hear "Dang! Look at that *body part*" PIGS! But hey, life is just an experience. Luckily, not all guys are like that!

Quote from: Ashey on November 26, 2013, 01:00:43 AM
I'd like to see how many here feel dysphoric about their genitals and also dislike sex, or are disgusted by it. Because I'm not particularly dysphoric about my penis and I have plenty of interest in and at least decent experience with sex. I just wonder if a correlation might exist.

We need polls damnit! xD

I'm "okay" with my penis if I am the only one using. The testes, they're just some hellish growth that disturbs me greatly. I fathomed the thought to grab scissors when I was younger - thankfully, it didn't go much further.

If I am with a guy, his hands better not wonder south. I don't want my genitals touched by another, ever. That is, until I get SRS down the road. Really, right now, I am more interested in being held by a man and cuddling. Grow an emotional attachment first, then see about physical.

I am 23 next month and a virgin still =/ , I always thought I was assexual , but I'm not , I like men. I was offered sex as a teenager from girls in highschool and men , and turned them down , it never felt right to me.

Quote from: Ashey on November 26, 2013, 01:00:43 AM
I'd like to see how many here feel dysphoric about their genitals and also dislike sex, or are disgusted by it. Because I'm not particularly dysphoric about my penis and I have plenty of interest in and at least decent experience with sex. I just wonder if a correlation might exist.

We need polls damnit! xD

I was never really disgusted, but I never, even for a moment, could imagine me using it on a girl to make sex... All the times I dreamed about having a girlfriend, I dreamed of cuddling with her, not making sex with her. I always wanted sex to come after a long relationship and I never really though on the subject because heving a girlfriend is a distant thing for me.

It is strange, because I never though about this until now... Of course my testosterone levels urged me to use my genitals on a regular basis, but I never wanted to try it with a girl and my inibitions and social difficulties never gave me any opportunity (except one). I think I wouldn't fulfill a womans expectancies. It would be probably a terrible experience for both of us.

I really don't know if I want to try it before it is too late...I think it won't be a very good experience at all...specially after HRT, with all the body changes and so on.

I'm also being quite open here because I am sure none of my real life friends can know this is me lol but let's go.

One day the few friends I have made me a surprise. They saved a good amount of money and wanted to give me a present...they wanted to pay me an expensive prostitute, a luxury one (I think they knew I was virgin)....

I think I wouldn't feel fine doing it. I was very nervous, terribly anxious, shaking and almost fainting! I felt embarassed when she came to talk with me. She touched my thighs and wanted to move to my genitals, but I could not allow it. I standed up and made the only thing I could think of...I left the place...

My friends though I was drunk or crazy, but I wasn't. Lucky for me they were drunk and don't quite remember why I denied this "gift". They never talked about it with me again.

For a long time I though I had denied it for being too anxious, but this is not true. I realized after a while that I didn't want to be with a girl that way, specially with a prostitute.

I made a poll! Please feel free to vote! =)

I lost my virginity at 16/17 (I honestly can't remember when exactly) and had 10/11 different partners over the years, but pretty much all of them were drunken 1 night stands generally initiated by the girls involved (I never went looking for that kind of thing, but did do a lot of drinking/drugs when I was 17-21 so I just kinda ended up in those situations).  I would always look back afterwards and imagine myself in my partners position, wishing/imagining that was me in the female role.

The longest relationship I've ever had was 6 weeks, and I've been pretty much celibate for the past 5-6 years.  Something has always just felt 'wrong' when I've been in a relationship with people I'd just met, I've realised that it's only after getting to know someone well enough to be 'friend-zoned' that I actually can have feelings for someone. 

So I'm trans and a victim of serial unrequited love, what a combo!  I would of been a great emo if it was about when I was younger (well, the term was about, but this was when Jimmy Eat World and The Ataris were emo)

Some experimentation in my late twenties, didn't have my first actual real girlfriend until I was 32 which was where I finally got around to losing my virginity. And afterwards I was was "what's all the fuss about??" That relationship lasted less than a year. Basically she didn't take to well to me telling her I had a transgendered past. Had one girlfriend years after that, for less than six months, and nothing since.

I have to say I was never really that hung up on losing my virginity. I really couldn't understand why guys I knew at school were so hell bent on losing theirs. I was always baffled by how easily most people around me at university would end up having sex. It was an utter mystery to me how or why. Porn depicting hetro sex (or gay male sex) has never interested me. For the last ten years I've felt very little desire to get together with a hero woman, in large part because of the rejection I encountered when she learned of my trans* history. Any other woman I mentioned it to immediately never saw me as a potential partner - understandable I suppose, they're hetro women and they want a hetro guy.

During my first transition I loathed my body. Since that time I've come to accept myself and love my body (plumbing and all) even though I feel like it isn't the right one for me.

I feel kind of sheepish.  I have had multiple partners and lost my virginity at age 15 to a high school crush named Donna. 

So being a susan's place "virgin" ... how could I resist this topic for a first post ? 


After 28 years I'm still happily a virgin (well at least in the sense of using my 'bits' ). Over the last week or so I've been to a wedding, and a baby shower, and it's put me a somewhat pensive/reflective mood on why I'm yet to find a SO (or even a passing fling for that matter !). I've always had that cliched internalised dysphoria thing, and externally tend to rock an androgynous look, so that confusion probably came though to any potential partners to say the least.

My bestie thinks i'm crazy for transitioning, for the simple fact that I might struggle to 'meet the one' and settle down. Even after few short months on E, I wouldn't trade off that spine-tingling emotional high !!

Quote from: aprilia on November 26, 2013, 05:50:14 AM
So being a susan's place "virgin" ... how could I resist this topic for a first post ? 


After 28 years I'm still happily a virgin (well at least in the sense of using my 'bits' ). Over the last week or so I've been to a wedding, and a baby shower, and it's put me a somewhat pensive/reflective mood on why I'm yet to find a SO (or even a passing fling for that matter !). I've always had that cliched internalised dysphoria thing, and externally tend to rock an androgynous look, so that confusion probably came though to any potential partners to say the least.

My bestie thinks i'm crazy for transitioning, for the simple fact that I might struggle to 'meet the one' and settle down. Even after few short months on E, I wouldn't trade off that spine-tingling emotional high !!

Welcome to Susan's! Have a Daiquiri (virgin, of course )

From one of the barely non-virgins... it's better to be yourself before you get involved long-term with someone. I've had one partner and she's very, very hurt by my coming OOTC.

Virgin at 22 (nearly 23). 5 years ago I never would have thought this would be the case but my transition didn't start till later than I would have liked.

I never had any confidence in myself with relationships, and I wouldn't say I was (or still am, yet) a fan of my body so it's not surprising. The 2 real relationships I have had never went anywhere because i couldn't be honest with them who I really was and that stopped me from committing to the relationships. And I couldn't do one night stands.

Funny how most people are uncreative when it comes to sex. I've had the pleasure to enjoy Tribadism and very lesbian sex and not use my thingy or use it in a non-hetero normative way because I'm damn creative. Even the way I go solo with my magic wand is nowhere near male and I'm not talking about anal either...

Glorifying a failure to adapt should not translate into female validation. There is much more to sex than PIV sex it's so strange how you all claim to be virgin because of your bits yet I see so many phallocentric comments in this thread.

EDIT: It's a lot more likely that you had sex if you're a lesbian though. Being straight is bound to make things more complicated.

My preference was always to pleasure my female partners with kissing, caressing, digitally, etc - it certainly worked - got them very aroused and was enough to bring them to orgasm in many instances. But being hetro women for them it was still foreplay, they needed actual intercourse to "seal the deal" even if they had already come. sigh!

Quote from: Jessica M on November 26, 2013, 07:40:40 AM
Virgin at 22 (nearly 23). 5 years ago I never would have thought this would be the case but my transition didn't start till later than I would have liked.

I never had any confidence in myself with relationships, and I wouldn't say I was (or still am, yet) a fan of my body so it's not surprising. The 2 real relationships I have had never went anywhere because i couldn't be honest with them who I really was and that stopped me from committing to the relationships. And I couldn't do one night stands.

Similar to me, I was afraid and didn't want to be dishonest. So I stayed away from relationships. Also when I was in my pre-teens I did some online dating and my best friend online cheated on me with my online girlfriend, and that always stuck with me. Even if it was just a silly online relationship.

So here I am still, no girlfriend no relationship, but don't really feel bad not having one. Maybe I should?

Quote from: Seyranna on November 26, 2013, 11:07:15 AM
Funny how most people are uncreative when it comes to sex. I've had the pleasure to enjoy Tribadism and very lesbian sex and not use my thingy or use it in a non-hetero normative way because I'm damn creative. Even the way I go solo with my magic wand is nowhere near male and I'm not talking about anal either...

Glorifying a failure to adapt should not translate into female validation. There is much more to sex than PIV sex it's so strange how you all claim to be virgin because of your bits yet I see so many phallocentric comments in this thread.

EDIT: It's a lot more likely that you had sex if you're a lesbian though. Being straight is bound to make things more complicated.

I was not glorifying anything. I was just curious and wanted to confirm if there are more virgins among MTFs than in cis people, what until now seems to be absolutely true.

But I am happy for you being creative and having the right opportunities to try differents ways of sex. I am very creative too, but my fantasies (most are related to bdsm) aren't possible with a male body and I would struggle to find someone willing to try any of them with me on my current state.

You made me curious now! =) I am considering asking some advices! (I'm serious!)

I lost my virginty at 13 to my best friend(cis female). We had an incredibly close relationship. I think back now and cringe about how young we were but, it felt right to us at the time. More than anything, I was curious about her body and how it worked. Somehow spending time with her intimately, made me feel  less horrified by my own body. I still miss her and the relationship we had. I don't think I've ever felt that close to someone since.

I'm 25 and lost my virginity at 17. I've had several female partners and have never felt dysphoria about my penis.

Quote from: Henrietta48 on November 25, 2013, 04:54:07 PM
I just honestly have no desire to penetrate anything. now being penetrated is a different story.

lol That's exactly how I feel. I used to think that meant I was a "bottom". If only I knew the truth back then. I used to think I was weird because I had no desire to use my parts even to receive oral sex which it seems like is every guy's favorite thing in the world. It was never something I had any desire to do and the thought of it made me feel uncomfortable.

Quote from: Acodé on November 26, 2013, 12:27:21 AM
Virgin at 28. Had seven chances during high school to have sex with a girl, but I passed them up. When it came right down to it, I found the act of being with a girl revolting. In that time, I had no doubts or regrets being with a guy. I would like to be with a girl once just to experience that side of sex, but I don't think I could go through with it even now. The thought of touching a vagina kinda grosses me out.

That really gives me moments for pause though. I look at women now and think "Wow, she's attractive!" and try to figure out if I am looking at their bodies in a sexual way or more as an appreciation for their beauty? I usually accept the latter as my dysphoria kicks in when I look at women and just feel the male body I inhabit.

I used to wonder this myself,but luckily now I have no doubt I love men and only men.  It's not like I was ever attracted to women but I questioned if my attraction to guys was just a lust thing which was probably due to ignorant views people have about homosexuality that I let get inside my head. I realized it was more than just sex I craved from men, I wanted love and companionship from them as well. Basically I was just like every other straight girl, but the confusion came from not knowing exactly who I was. I saw one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in person last week when she came to my work. She looked like a model, truly stunning. However, as gorgeous as she was, I wasn't attracted to her sexually or romantically. I just recognized she was very beautiful, but I love men and I always will.