some are supportive, like my mate and best friend, while others want to witch hunt us, most people where i live, in the end theres no way of knowing how someone feels unless they tell you.

I have had 90% positive response from guys. Even country guys seem to like us as long as we are cute and there type of girl. They treated me like any other girl they liked with the bonus of not having to worry about birth control and knocking me up . Now woman on the other hand have seen me as mostly just another woman. The down side to this is they see me as just another woman and use whatever diet they can against me like they would any other girl. It's bitter sweet. But all and all they seem to see us as people ( as long as we pass) at least the ones I have mostly come across. And this includes my nephew and nieces PTA.

I would think that left to one's own devices with no outside input, people would mostly not draw negative conclusions about transfolk.  It's completely irrational.  Unfortunately, we live in a world where this is not even remotely the case.  The US unfortunately has a culture that is mostly toxic towards transwomen.  We have (among other things) dudebro groupthink, Jerry Springer, religious fanatics, politcians using us as pawns in the culture war and an exploitative porn industry to thank for that.  This is why it is important to me to look as unmistakeably female as possible.  Being a woman in the US is tough enough as it is, but being clocked as a transwoman dramatically increases your likelihood of very bad things happening to you.

So thank you, society.  I'm sure my plastic surgeon will thank you even more.

Generally speaking, men seem turned off to us because many think having sex with a transsexual makes them gay. Unfortunately that's what many of them see women as being good for, and if you were a man who now has a vagina you pose a pretty serious threat to his sexual orientation. Again, not saying all men are like this. It's just the predominant male attitude. Women seem to be much more understanding in general and seem be more inquisitive about our situation.

Quote from: Gene24 on December 13, 2013, 04:37:58 PM
Generally speaking, men seem turned off to us because many think having sex with a transsexual makes them gay. Unfortunately that's what many of them see women as being good for, and if you were a man who now has a vagina you pose a pretty serious threat to his sexual orientation. Again, not saying all men are like this. It's just the predominant male attitude. Women seem to be much more understanding in general and seem be more inquisitive about our situation.

There's just something really ironic about the fragile nature of masculinity.

Quote from: big kim on December 13, 2013, 10:14:17 AM
A dirty little secret to screw when their wives and girlfriends are having periods.

I'm dreading this... I feel like it's going to happen to me at some point. Being with a guy that will rush me out when someone is coming, or hide me, or not introduce me to any of his friends or family. I'm still quite optimistic that I'll find plenty of guys (and girls) that won't act like that at all, but even if it happens just once or twice, I think it'll be hard to deal with.

Quote from: Jill F on December 13, 2013, 04:42:06 PM
There's just something really ironic about the fragile nature of masculinity.

It definitely can be blunt, rigid, and not understanding at times! The other day my best friend (who I came out to) saw a MTF transsexual while we were out. The only thing that gave her away were her kind of stocky, masculine calves. Then he said "Is that a man or a...? Dude, I just don't know why you're not gay."

I wouldn't know I guess but most people treat me great. My BF told his parents he was living with me and shows people pictures of me and they are always like "wow, I didn't expect her to look like that" meaning normal. But I guess I look really femme and pretty enough that people think I should be doing this. I'm not sure but I have never encountered animosity. I couldn't deal so I guess I'm lucky.

But no one thinks I'm trans so there is that. I don't identify as trans either.

It's probably been said before, but there are too many variable situations to consider such as where you are what you look like etc. Most people simply do not care as they are more concerned about getting to where they want to go as opposed to playing the "lets stand around and see if we can spot a load of ->-bleeped-<-s" game. Again, depending on what demographic you ask, many people in the modern world know we exist and simply accept that. Luckily, at least in the UK, we do not have religious or political death squads being sent out to deal with the "bothersome" increase of transgenders in the town. Younger generations are more concerned about getting laid with whoever or whatever they want to become coupled with at the end of a booze and drug fuelled night. Local farmers are too busy getting uncoupled from the local sheep and Mrs Jones is more concerned about picking the best looking cabbage, potatoes and carrots in the supermarket to go with the joint of beef Mr Jones picked up last night ready for this Sundays lunch. See, we exist in the same spaces as everyone else. We are visible yet invisible.

Radfems have an issue though. I think that once they figured out that women do run the planet, when they feel it's necessary to do so, and can look good doing it, they figured they'd become obsolete. They panicked and looked for the next thing to bash, for another reason to exist. Us.

Anyway I do not know where I'm going with this. Maybe it's the Tramadol and it's late . This reply is about as valid to the trans community as is the original question.

No one cares. Go into the real world, smile. Exist. You'd be surprised at how people do react.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on December 13, 2013, 05:26:53 PM
I wouldn't know I guess but most people treat me great. My BF told his parents he was living with me and shows people pictures of me and they are always like "wow, I didn't expect her to look like that" meaning normal. But I guess I look really femme and pretty enough that people think I should be doing this. I'm not sure but I have never encountered animosity. I couldn't deal so I guess I'm lucky.

But no one thinks I'm trans so there is that. I don't identify as trans either.

That's the thing- If you're pretty and femme, you're viewed as a woman, nothing more.  If you look like a shaven ape in a dress, it's not so great.  I got clocked a lot early on, and some d-bags really let me have it.  Thankfully HRT and facial hair removal worked some quick magic on me and I basically just look like an amazon woman now.   I haven't been treated badly in a few months now.   If everyone knows you're trans, it is a different experience entirely.

We know society does not care for "us" so I'm trying to just become as nice & normal a woman as humanly possible so I do not have to deal with that.

I've had my share of experiences with mean men in the past and that was no fun. Policeman were the worse giving me a very hard time when I was not causing anyone any harm at all.

Women have mostly always been nice.

Quote from: kathyk on December 13, 2013, 11:45:54 AM
95% don't seem to care, and I also don't want to guess what they think.  But those in California who know me are courteous, and only the religious cousins back in Michigan despise me.

I agree with Kathy, probably most folks don't give a rip.  They're too wrapped up in their own world to worry about what someone else is doing.  But, as a general rule, I think women are probably more sympathetic toward trans-people than men are.  I think there are some men who are scared of us, because they might have wanted to wear female clothing, or have maybe questioned their own gender at some point in their life.  The "religious" zealots will despise us along with everyone else who's different, so what they think doesn't matter.  I happen to have God on speed dial, and He already told me He's cool with us.  So, we have that goin' for us...which is nice...

I don't know about the anti-men thing either. Men treat me great. Prolly too good it's weird lol but I did get fired however maybe I just sucked and that's all there is to it. In fact she said that: you suck this isn't personal. I actually believe that since the first thing she told me to do is use the womans rooom. But really I don't talk about trans stuff ever. EVER.

Also I have been stopped by the police and forced to disclose and other then being accused of being crude for suggesting I'm actually MAAB, again nutin' but politeness. But I tell people I'm a woman not a trans woman.

Wow!! I must be in the Greatest part of the world. I have yet to run into any genuine negativity. I've often felt that if you treat people how you want to be treated that's what you're going to get. Since I reached the point of going out in public, (pre-op and post-op) I can only remember once when someone questioned my gender. This subject should not bring on all the thoughts and opinions of how someone views us. After all, if you don't tell them who you were prior to your re-birth. They should never know. We should focus on the glorious fact that you are either on the way to becoming who you feel you really are, or you have arrived. Enjoy and believe and it will become.

       Dina

It might vary a lot depending on the area. I can only speak for the my location.

It depends very much on the ability to pass.
Vast majority of people are indifferent and very much tolerant. Younger generations are much more accepting.
There are many people very accepting and supportive
Most people are only superficially familiar with this subject. Yet many people are so aware it is unbelievable.
The trans terminology is often unknown
The public thinks this stuff is mostly about SRS
People make jokes about "cut it away"
Things like preop , nonop and different gender varities are too weird for the general public   
Many do not understand but are still friendly.
Some people say stuff like man in a dress , it's not a real man/woman . They need therapy not mutilation surgery. Will insurance have to cover that? This type of thing. But they will usually keep it to themselves. Direct confrontation would be rare and not socially accepted.
Most so called straight people would not be willing to date a transperson themselves.
Still people have issues with transpeople and children. Some people still raise the question if transpeople can be good parents.

The situation is not bad but there is still so much room for improvement.

A funny thing happened when reading this thread: I thought about disclosure. It seemed like an academic exercise in the other thread and maybe that's how some approached it--as academic. But for me it is a serious question. I don't know it just felt like it got so heated and now I wonder how many trans women actually face that issue. prolly most but maybe most don't post?

Food for thought. The main thing I meant to say is maybe peeps should wait to present if it causes too many problems. The only reason I started presenting in June was because I wasn't passing as male and I found I got treated great when peeps saw me as I am: female.

Its human nature to be leery of things they don't understand, deviate significantly from what they are accustomed to, and a host of other things.

Now from what I have observed most of the trans population in their own minds are the above. Even if they had a seamless appearance, they would still stand out as different. Otherwise put if you don't own who you are other people are going to nail you over and over again.

Oh and finally for those that think the best approach is to try to educate the masses about trans people.... well be my guest. Since there as so many facets of trans I can only guess that it confuses people. An example would be someone speaking to the people saying they are female with male parts and want to keep them. Im sure that goes over really well. Crap I don't even get the trans thing anymore. I have been waiting for someone to tell me they are trans species, turning into a zebra or something.

Katie

Quote from: Katie on December 13, 2013, 07:43:23 PM
Its human nature to be leery of things they don't understand, deviate significantly from what they are accustomed to, and a host of other things.

Now from what I have observed most of the trans population in their own minds are the above. Even if they had a seamless appearance, if they don't see themselves as normal then they will stand. Simple as that.

Now I realize there are people that want to stand out as different and more power to them but for people that want to be seen as normal well the best place to start is in their heads.

Oh and finally for those that think the best approach is to try to educate the masses about trans people.... well be my guest. Since there as so many facets of trans I can only guess that it confuses people. An example would be someone speaking to the people saying they are female with male parts and want to keep them. Im sure that goes over really well. Crap I don't even get the trans thing anymore. I have been waiting for someone to tell me they are trans species, turning into a zebra or something.

Katie

Big hug! Sorry you're struggling to understand these complex things, hon. Maybe a tutor? Hugs, Devlyn

Okay, I don't know why people think women are more accepting. Let me tell you about a jarring experience.

I've been working at my place of employment for nearly 5 months now. Now, I'm still stealth. I assume some people know (like the office manager, HR manager, and maybe the doctors that work there), but I know for a fact that at least some of them do not. Case in point:

Recently I was hospitalized. While I was in the hospital, a coworker of mine and her daughter were visiting me. We were in my room talking, acting cheerful, etc... when my not passable at all roommate walked in with food. Immediately, the daughter of my coworker shut her mouth and didn't talk the rest of the time. My coworker and I continued to converse, which she didn't seem bothered by anything at all. My roommate said very little.

The day after my next day of work, my coworker called me on the phone. First thing out of her mouth "Okay, WHY didn't you warn me about that roommate of yours? I had to explain that to my daughter!" "I was blushing, so I just kind of apologized and said I wasn't expecting "him" to come (I didn't want to get into the whole transsexual blah blah). She went on to say "I mean the first thing out of her mouth was 'Why did that man have boobs?'.." She went on to make fun of her situation for a good 30 minutes, and honestly I felt the need to go along with it to cover my stealth identity.

The kinds of stuff that were discussed were pretty transphobic to say the least. This all went on behind her back. Now there's a running joke that I have a crossdressing male roommate with huge boobs and when it's brought up in the office, everybody gets a kick out of it (btw I work in an office of about 95% women).

Let me add on another experience. When I was hospitalized, they gave me a bracelet that had an F on it. When I told the people in the ER that I'm trans, they didn't change it. Well, actually they did, but they didn't change it to M. When I got to the ICU, they were asking me why I was on such a high dose of Spiro, and I told them that I'm trans. Well these girls just were so sweet, but their attitude changed completely. It went from let me help you to let me ask you a bunch of questions about your gender ID. After that, they replaced my bracelet w/ an M. I can almost tell you for a fact that that very sweet nurse went to change it because she's not so understanding ... behind my back.

Point is: both sexes seem pretty equally freaked out by us. Men are just more on the table about it.

Ah a comment from my fan club. A tudor? No thanks. I understand transsexual women.......... the rest I don't and you know that's totally ok with me. Just not worth my time to try to understand all these other trans this and that.