Del

*Hugs* It's a shame that your family is not supportive of you. It's a shame that they will not get to meet the true you.
Maybe one day they will open their eyes and see the beautiful woman that you are.

100% what Bethany said.

You might still get to be an aunt yet.

Hugs, I know it is hard dealing with the ones we love.

Never dwell on the past being it has been set in stone. Today and tomorrow are tablets laying out for you to write your future of happiness.

Those who judge are ones who truly loose a happy person in there lives.

Again many hugs
Izzy

everyone around here on Susan's Know you'll be beautiful inside and out. I lost my family too for different reasons. You need to take care of your self before your able to help others. My niece did reconnect to me when she got older

Like you say, you don't need anyone's consent or approval.  You are who you are, and you took the hardest step (in my opinion) which is being brave enough to come out and take control of your life.  Stories like yours give people like me - still in the cage - hope that opening the door and stepping outside, although frightening and filled with some moments of disappointment and sadness, is overall far better and happier than living inside in the long term.  Thanks for sharing, and I'm sure things will work out for you.  Although your adult relatives might not be on the same page as you right now, I'm sure your niece and nephew will want to connect with the amazing aunt they'll be so proud of.

Hugs, it is really their loss.

I feel for your sadness and am wishing positive thoughts your way.

You made some fantastic progress this year and although you did not get everything, you got you and a fresh start.

I'm really sorry about your sister.  My heart breaks whenever I see this happen to one of us because no one deserves rejection for being lgbt (especially from family).  Nonetheless, I really admire your resolve and strength to overcome this hardship.  And I hope you and your sister will reconcile in the end.   

The "there's no going back from this" phrase makes me smile a bit because hose were the very words my endo said to me before I started estrogen.  Little did she know that my mind was made up way before I stepped into her office, lol. 

Yea, when we start taking hormones and come out to those we love there's no turning back.  But it's not like we have a choice in being transsexual anyway. 

Everything you said about the people in your life is what most all of us have also experienced, and we suffered the same kind of losses for the same reasons.  Members of our immediate families  ostracize us, more distant relatives ignore us, and many of our friends just abandon us (or blatantly demean us).  But what we have after the dust settles is a fantastic group of friends, along with those strong accepting family members who remained by our sides.  With transition there's losses, and why shouldn't we cry about it.  I sure did.

Your going to have a beautiful life that's full of love.  But I guess you know that.

And by the way, your avatar shows us you're already a very pretty young woman.  Hugs hun.

K

For me... waking up from SRS and getting my name legally changed. After that, it was pretty much: burn the ships, we're never going back. 

the other day I was looking in the mirror andi realised how womanly  my body has become. I don't see how this could be reversible. It's not just the boobs, or the ever expanding thighs, my oh so softening skin or even my getting cuter by the day face. It's the sum of all those things. Even if I stopped now I am prolly irreversibly feminized. I thought to myself while staring at my reflection that I hope you are right about this cause there is no going back. In a year or less, I doubt anybody will ever be able to tell I was ever a man. Which is great and almost ethereal in it's awesomeness. Even better I look so young. Time to start working hardcore on my voice. But yeah I'm past the point of no return.

I remember being taken a back at, "guess I really am sterile now" and knowing, not choosing that I won't be having youngins'. Wasn't upset, the moment just gave me pause.

I'm not going to deny that right now, I'm working through grieving the loss of being able to go to dinner as man and woman with my SO. Don't get me wrong, it's much more comfortable being gendered appropriately by the rest of the world but when it comes to her, sometimes I do find myself longing for what was. Except for places that knew us before transition, we get "ladies" when we go out to eat now even when I'm not trying. I miss waitstaff making the assumption that there was no need to split the bill. There was a whole big deal about how my name would appear in the paper next to my SO's when her dad died. Stress because we didn't want it to deal with it saying, "This man is dead, his daughter survives and is an (unintentional) lesbian."

For me it's the knowledge of how much better my life is now, that's how I know there's no going back. Even with the sacrifices I've made and what I lost. I won't be him again. I'm too happy, comfortable. Still, would be nice if I could pass as him once and a while, for my SO and me. I'm sure I could easily earn ire for wanting that cause, "What's wrong with a lesbian relationship?" Well, nothing. The relationship I had, the romantic idea I had of us, is just something I'm mourning.

But!

Seeing as the relationship would probably be over had I not transitioned thanks to anger and booze, there should be plenty of new good times ahead too. Another reason why I won't go back.

The sadness comes from thinking about what could have been. Instead reality turned out differently. I hope that with time your sister can come around to missing you as much as you miss the relationship as it could have been.

Like when you tell your wife, "What's been bothering me is that I've had gender identity issues my whole life."?

Or come out to the world on Facebook?   I'm sure everyone I ever knew knows by now.  Oh well.  Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

I'm in the middle of that with my sister and her husband. He told me he doesn't want me seeing the kids again -- after Christmas and whenever he thinks it's gone too far. My sister was very supportive at first. Now I have a hard time talking to her. Maybe this part is my fault, but if I'm not allowed to see your kids you're telling me I'm not allowed to see you either. Lots of still over this one.

The best we can do is hope for the future!

Quote from: jussmoi4nao on December 17, 2013, 10:34:33 AM
I guess for me I look at it differently. Allowing myself to let go of people and relationships gives me more strength to go on once I do it, and the ones that are hard to let go of give me the most strength of all.

It's like an affirmation of what you're doing and the choices you've made and saying to yourself that no matter how much you care about anyone in the end your own personal happiness is more important and you're not going to allow these people to take away from that for their own personal comfort level...because that's not a mutually loving relationship, it's one sided and shallow.

After I read that card, I threw it away, and you know what? I felt better. Cuz I let go. Suure it'd be nice if we could have a relationship again one day...but not until they come to me, cuz that's the only way I'll know they actually care. I've had dysphoria since I was 4 so it's been the whole time anyone has ever known me, and if they ever really loved or cared about me they loved that part about me, too, and finding out about it shouldn't change anything...if it does, wellll they never *really* cared about me to begin with, just the person they wanted me to be.

I'm glad you are finding the positive in it.  And it's very nice to see you confident and happy about your transition. 

I feel the same way Stef. I've always been this way and if people don't like me anymore it means they never liked me at all. They just liked the idea of who I might be and the thought tht this was just a long phase. When I was 7 I insisted I was a girl and, without going into specifics, was punished. By the school. By my family. By neighbors. I broke bad. But never escaped my inate feminity. My friends in high school voted my most likely to be a housewife lol

Grieving is part of the transition process. We grieve for the loss of our old identity, the loss of family, friends, and our significant others that can't be expected to make our journey. Transitioning is the greatest, most profound change a human being can make, and before we are free to live our lives, we must make peace with our pasts.

My worst moment came when I came across a card my daughter Katy made for me when she was 8, twenty-two years ago. She drew a picture of herself in Hawaii and wrote, "You're the best Dad in the World." Now I don't exist. I pray that she never feels the way she's made me feel. No parent should feel that way. My transition, like yours, cost me everything, but my future. I'm so excited at the possibilities.

Quote from: Jill F on December 17, 2013, 02:38:26 AM
Like when you tell your wife, "What's been bothering me is that I've had gender identity issues my whole life."?

Or come out to the world on Facebook?   I'm sure everyone I ever knew knows by now.  Oh well.  Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

100% agree with this and the same for me. Sometimes I wonder if there are things I have done (like coming out on Facebook) to make sure there is no going back, and to give myself a nudge forward. 

Jill hit it on the proverbial head.

Quote from: Antonia J on December 17, 2013, 08:54:36 PM
100% agree with this and the same for me. Sometimes I wonder if there are things I have done (like coming out on Facebook) to make sure there is no going back, and to give myself a nudge forward. 

Jill hit it on the proverbial head.

That's quite the way of thinking about it. I'm out to management at work and going on HRT next week. I'm completely certain I'm trans and always have been (history and present). I'm 100% certain I need to transition. I have dysphoria whenever I'm not happy and often when I am happy. I'm neither depressed nor do I have much anxiety. My therapist says I'm of sound mind, not deluded, not coerced, and I have his HRT letter. . . Yet there's that tiny fear that it will all turn out to be my own insanity in the end.