Hey everyone,
So here's my situation: I am currently scheduled for GCS with Dr. Suporn on March 18. But lately I've been kind of waffling about whether I'd rather have FFS first, or at all. Here are some pictures of me off my blog. The things I would change are my jawline and maybe my nose. I have a fairly flat forehead and a decent profile but there are some aspects of the lower half of my face that I think could be changed to give me just a little bit more of a feminine appearance.

My initial reasoning for wanting GCS first was that it might assist in further feminizing me before I get any other surgeries (FFS and BA). Obviously I have my other reasons for GCS, but with respect to the other two I thought it might be beneficial if I got my vagina first Anyways I was hoping y'all might be able to help provide some feedback. I know this is a really personal decision but hearing from my sisters always helps.
By the way I'm about 22 and a half months into hormones.

http://notesofaphoenix.tumblr.com/post/68506556639/happy-black-friday-everyone
http://notesofaphoenix.tumblr.com/post/64828022970/nearly-21-months-in-transition

xoxo

You don't need FFS in my opinion.  Your pictures are really cute. It's a different thing if you want it, but personally I would focus more on things that are going to make the biggest difference that you really want first. The tinkering with things you'd just like to tweak would come later if at all

I also see no reason for an FFS.  But do what you feel you should do first.  If it were me, GCS first.

You are pretty.  Whichever surgery ends the most internal suffering is what I'd do.

Hey Zoey, I've been following you on tumblr for a while and you've been kind of an inspiration to me, so, uh, hi! *nervous wave*

Like, it's difficult asking other people if you need FFS because other people will be more likely to tell you that you don't need it, and I'm going to add my voice and say that you really don't need it. You're extremely pretty, and so if you were going to do it I wouldn't go too far with it. You could maybe consult for rhinoplasty after your GCS (seeing as you probably wouldn't have to go all the way to Thailand for that), but it's definitely not a necessity in my eyes and depends on how far your budget will stretch. I think GCS will make you a lot happier in the long-run, whereas FFS is more optional given the results of your HRT.

Good luck and keep us updated!

I agree, chin/jawline and nose surgery I think will do awesome for you.

Such a tough decision. I think having had both (srs first) I can say that bang for the buck it was FFS. On the other hand SRS does things that are so important that I think SRS is priority. I think I could live with looking strange but being a woman vs. looking good and not exactly being a woman.

Katie

Thanks for all your comments

Michaela, it's wonderful to put a face to the (tumblr) name. You're beautiful :-). And thank you for the advice. I will most certainly keep everyone updated. I hope your own transition is going well too. xoxo

Katie, I was really wanting advice from someone who underwent both so thank you! I'm confident that some minor facial changes would do wonders for my self-esteem and dysphoria. But if I were to do FFS first, like you said, I still wouldn't feel complete.

One way or the other I will come out of my first operation with something I still want to change, so I know a second surgery is somewhere in my near future. That being said, I think I'm at least somewhat satisfied with my face after hormones and I think I could stand to wait a year or two longer to get FFS.

I think a big part of it is that the SRS recovery is a bit off putting, and frankly a bit scary to me. Having expressed that, though, I know that it is necessary and rather than reacting to the fear by putting the surgery off for years more just to have a bit of a prettier face and bigger boobs, I'd prefer to just face the emotion head on and do what I know to be necessary and important for my well-being.

Again, thank you everyone for your input

Ummm for me SRS, Lipo, and BA, all done the same day provided me with a relatively simple and trouble free recovery.

FFS recovery was freaking miserable. I cant tell you how big a difference it was............ Just freaking miserable.

Katie

haha true ffs recovery is truly the most ->-bleeped-<- thing, but here I am going to do revision rhino....

Hi Zoey,

Quote from: zoeyshop on December 19, 2013, 01:47:25 AM
I think a big part of it is that the SRS recovery is a bit off putting, and frankly a bit scary to me.

You need to finish your research and get to the bottom of these feelings. You need to know EXACTLY what is going to be done to you, so you can dispel all fears. This is major surgery and you need the right attitude to go into it. Otherwise you can have a rough time coming out the other side, which is completely avoidable.

Good luck for the 18th.

Huggs
Catherine

I'm not a woman, so I don't know if my opinion counts for anything, but if I were you, I would go for GCS. Just about everyone has something about their face that they're not thrilled about, but if it's between being self-conscious and feeling incomplete, I would go for feeling complete and being self-conscious about a few things. Just my two cents. For what it's worth, I don't see anything unfeminine about you at all.

So today I realized something about my fear of SRS. I've been so consumed with my surgery and getting it done and achieving the body I want so badly. And the reason I am afraid is because I've put so much energy into it that I don't know what's going to happen when I finally get what I want so badly. It's not a question of IF but when am I going to get my SRS. The key, though, is knowing that SRS is not going to fill the void in me. It's a certain emptiness that cannot be compensated for, or escaped. No matter what I do, it is still there. And certainly I think SRS will improve my quality of life, at least in terms of adjustment. I was shopping an hour ago and I noticed I was purposefully shying away from kinds of clothing that I would love to wear but I just don't feel comfortable wearing right now. I inquired today with the Suporn clinic about getting a BA while I'm there too because I know that is something that bothers me as well. All I want to do is alleviate my dysphoria as much as I can and that means getting SRS, FFS, and a BA in due time. That being said, I know the surgeries will not cure me of my emptiness or bring me the sweeping peace of mind I have long sought in the material world. The surgery is no different. It will change my body and aspects of my life but I will not change the fact that I still have an ego that's constantly battling my higher self. And the thing that terrifies me is waking up after SRS and going, ok well now what? Because it is so close. And it will come and it will go. And it will be in the rear view in no time. And I just hope that I have the patience and the fortitude to discover what it is that has rendered me so empty, what it is that has made me a leaky bucket of sorts. Understanding this, I feel a sense of calm. Sure I still have questions and I will answer those questions. But just knowing that my fear of SRS is a product of my attachment to this change calms me because I am aware of the attachment and I am aware it will not bring me enlightenment by any means, and it sure won't bring me the inner fulfillment that helping others and writing and listening to good music and working towards a higher goal that has nothing to do with my body will bring me. I'm getting to a place of understanding. And in this place, I know without a doubt that like I said, it's not a matter of IF, but when I will get the things done to my body that I want done. In the mean time I just want to keep living. But more importantly, I realize that my fixation on my transition is like a wedge between me and other people. And until I complete my transition and move past it, I don't think I will be able to lead a life where my focus is not on my body but on the world around me and the suffering therein.

Well thought through, Joey,
I sense you are on the road moving forward, by identifying those issues. I tend to think they are reasonably complex to the point they could best be managed in consultation with your therapist, who may have more experience in dealing with such deep matters.
Huggs
Catherine