I've come to the conclusion I'm going to complete my mission of being my self' This is my personal way of doing this. Hopefully if this works out nobody would guess. I've decided though for me it's not important whether people know or not. I was in a coffee house today and this guy came up to me and asked about the wifi. I had my nails done in nice red and some eye pencil on. He came from the back of me and started to ask about the wifi, He saw my nails and the conversation kept getting longer and I realized he was flirting with me . I was pretty obvious trans because with my bra on my breasts are pretty noticeable. I got a kick out of it . I know its not everyone's thing to be open , but what the heck I'm trans I'm beginning to feel theirs absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, it's what I am.

Good for you!  Shame about who and what we are is just not helpful.  Shame is something we can get through and understand but does not have to define our lives.

Chin up, chest out, big smile and have a good time.  Walk with confidence and treat people with respect and we will likely get the same in return.

Yes, open, out and proud.

We worked hard to get this far!

Theirs nothing wrong with it! I know I went through a stage where I was all about being open and proud. Then I realized for me I just wanted to be seen as a woman that's the only label I wanted. And it nearly impossible to seen as a real woman when people know your trans and I just want to be seen and treated as any other woman.

I think it can be a great route to take. Take a look at Lavern Cox. She is extremely out and proud, and does not receive much grief for it. If that is the route that will make you the happiest, then go for it!

There is nothing wrong with being whatever you want. The one thing I would like to point out though is that years from now someone that was out might regret that they were out. As it was said earlier by the other gal she's just a woman and its hard to be just that when everyone knows your not!

Katie

Yes I agree . Being open and proud is fine . I know for me my current job and situation requires a certain amount of hush hush

Nothing 'wrong' with it. It isn't for me. I sometimes feel that out people misrepresent me, but that is another story.

I don't think there's much wrong with it. I've been going out in full girls clothes and I love it, just feels right. I haven't started any HRT yet and some people were looking at me but I didn't care (had some makeup on, have to be pretty you know). Only thing that bugs me is my mom stays at my house to baby sit some and I was wearing my pjs and have my toenails painted, I so wanted her to ask me whats up and she just said my pants looked comfy!

It's a very personal choice & to each his own.

I prefer stealth cos society where I am is harsh. + I don't wanna be discriminated both in jobs & straight men.

Going open and full time was a bit of a bumpy road for me at first, I was scared and nervous and drew some very strange looks, as I got braver with my clothing choices and better with my makeup I realised something....I passed, not so much because of my appearence but more because of my demeaner and confidence, walk the walk and people see what you want them to see, as long as I keep my mouth shut I am pretty much ok these days, roll on voice therapy!!!

Really i wonder how can someones be truly stealth, but well i never see one trans girl  from first world i guess the hormones and surgery can make miracles there. (you know any  person can realice what i am when they see me in person)

There is nothing wrong with being out and open. Where I live I have no choice but to be out. However when I am out in the general public I want to be seen as a woman. Not a trans woman, Just a woman.

I am proud for every obstacle I have overcome, and so are my friends and family.

I'll echo what everyone else has said.  There is nothing with being out and proud if that's what you want.  To be honest, I'd rather have the ability to be as stealth as possible when the time comes.  It's not about shame more than it's about wanting to live my life just like any other girl.  That's been my goal.  Being out is okay, but most people will see transgirls and transgirls instead of just a girl.  If they really don't need to know my past, why must I tell them?   That's just my feeling.  However, if you prefer being out, there is nothing wrong at all with that.  We should all do what's best for us.

There's nothing wrong with being out and open about it.
There's also nothing wrong with being a woman and not identifying openly as transgender.

Sure... I'd like to see more of us do the former, but I think it takes a lot of strength and we already are required to be so damned strong.

I will be out and proud. I won't wear it on my chest... but everyone I know personally will know. People I see in public don't need to know unless I want them to.

It's still a long way off, though...... people I see in public already KNOW (If I'm wearing a purse, at least...)

Quote from: Heather on December 17, 2013, 10:03:18 PM
Theirs nothing wrong with it! I know I went through a stage where I was all about being open and proud. Then I realized for me I just wanted to be seen as a woman that's the only label I wanted. And it nearly impossible to seen as a real woman when people know your trans and I just want to be seen and treated as any other woman.

It's my thought that a transgender woman is just as "real" as any woman. Hugs, Devlyn

I have a bizarre double life. 

I do a lot of trans* community work.  It's hard to do that work unless people know I have a trans* spectrum history too.  There is a huge difference in the way trans* people treat you if they know versus if they don't.  I do a lot of education, community building, and advocacy.  I doubt that the trans* community would support any of that, especially the community building, if they did not know that I'm at least somewhere on the spectrum myself. 

But sometimes it's nice to not be "on" having to do that work.  People of both trans* and not trans* persuasions seem to very often find me rather intriguing once they know that I'm somewhere on the spectrum (don't ask me why; you will have to ask them).  So the moment someone finds out, I end up back in education, community building, and advocacy mode. 

As a consequence, in my social life I do not disclose and I tend to be very stealth.  I very openly masquerade as a strong, very engaged ally.  But I don't disclose that I'm anywhere on the spectrum myself.  And I tend to socialize with a very different group of people from the ones I work with. 

What's wrong with being open and proud?
Not a thing.  But it is not the way that works best for some people sometimes. 

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 18, 2013, 08:45:56 AM
It's my thought that a transgender woman is just as "real" as any woman. Hugs, Devlyn

Its just a mind set thing if you see yourself as something different from other women you'll be different from other women. Once I started seeing myself as a woman and stopped thinking of myself as a trans woman my outlook on life improved. And I was talking from a societal point of view once people find out they treat you totally different than what they do when your just any other woman. I know this from experience.

In my experience, "open and proud" women are among the happiest with their transitions. Our community needs people like you, to show how intelligent and competent transgender People can be.

Quote from: Heather on December 18, 2013, 10:27:44 AM
Its just a mind set thing if you see yourself as something different from other women you'll be different from other women. Once I started seeing myself as a woman and stopped thinking of myself as a trans woman my outlook on life improved. And I was talking from a societal point of view once people find out they treat you totally different than what they do when your just any other woman. I know this from experience.

I work on this every day. The hardest thing? When I talk about myself in the 3rd person (not often, but I've got kids) it's always with male pronouns. That hurts more than anyone else using them and I realize how hard it is to change that mindset. I've had 35 years of thinking myself as "he" and "him." I always correct myself.

Quote from: suzifrommd on December 18, 2013, 11:08:45 AM
In my experience, "open and proud" women are among the happiest with their transitions. Our community needs people like you, to show how intelligent and competent transgender People can be.

Thanks for giving me (even more) hope!! ♥

Quote from: suzifrommd on December 18, 2013, 11:08:45 AM
In my experience, "open and proud" women are among the happiest with their transitions. Our community needs people like you, to show how intelligent and competent transgender People can be.

And in your experience, how happy are those who are in deep stealth, i.e. the ones you don't 'see' or are 'invisible'? There are trade-offs either side. Of course there's nothing wrong being 'open and proud', it's just not for everyone.