Hey Girlies

I just thought it would be nice to have a thread where we could all reflect on 2013 and let people know what steps we have taken this year! And talk about our hopes for next year!

My year has been crazy!

. I started by moving 200 miles away from my family home to Sheffield for a job in construction design ( still massively in denial about my trangendered feelings)

. I started to dress alot more and as i had money i was able to buy more and more clothes.

. I started venturing out, and was still very secretive about being Zoe.

. In June, my housemate at the time, found my makeup and clothes, and confronted me about it, she was really good about it and when i told her that i think im transexual, she said she would help me come out to my other housemates if i wanted!

. In Early September i started to see a Councillor. Talking to her helped me come to terms with who i really am, and it was after two sessions, that i accepted to myself im transexual, and i really need to do something about this!

. In late september i went on a night out for the first time as Zoe, and ive never felt so alive! It was a transgendered night out in Leeds called Leeds First Friday. It was the first time ive ever gone out and felt good about myself, and it gave me so much confidence to be the real me!!!

. In Early October i Came out to my best friend and she was so accepting!! I also came out to some other friends and they were all fine with it, one of my mates actually told me he was a transvestite and had considered transitioning himself in the past!!!!!

. Late October i met up with my mates who i had come out to, it was the first time they had seen me as Zoe, and i was so nervous. It was a tad awkward for me at first, as i was getting the usual questions, but it was totally amazing and we had such a good night out!!!! My friend who's getting married in 2 years time also said i could be one of her bridesmaids, which took me totally by surprise!!!!!

. At the start of December i moved out of my old flat and moved in with a housemate who i had told previously i was trans! I started to live as a woman, outside of work and its been amazing!!! Probably the best month of my life!!

So yea . . . Thats been my year! Its been pretty crazy, ive gone from still being massively in denial, to fully accepting myself, and embracing being a transexual! I'm so glad i did as living as Zoe is the greatest thing ive ever done!!

Next year hopefully i will start on Hormones and find a more accepting work environment so that i can live 24/7 as the real me!!!! Im gonna be starting an NVQ level 2 course in beauty therapy, and im hoping that i will be able to be a beautician or makeup artist in the future!

So what steps did you all take this year?
What are your hopes for next year?

Zoe
xx

Well, I'm not sure it was a case of me taking steps as steps being taken for me - whether I liked it or not!

My wife finally decided she couldn't live with me, even if I didn't transition - the possibility that I might, one day, just made her too scared and too tense.

Then she outed me to my daughters, who kind of knew already but had pretty much buried the whole thing, since years had passed since I first tentatively suggested that I had issues with my gender and I'd not done anything obvious about it since.

So that was my marriage gone and my family blown apart (though I am slowly trying to put the pieces back together, at least so far as my kids are concerned).

That means that early next year we'll be selling the house where we've lived for more than 20 years and my wife and I will go our separate ways.

And THAT means that after decades of denial, suppression, wasted time and money on therapy and drugs to somehow 'cure' me and make me 'normal' ... and after years of knowing what has to happen, but not having the courage to do it  - and not wanting to wreck the family I love ... 2014 will be the year that I finally, formally, definitely start my transition.

It's got to go slowly. A slew of personal an professional commitments mean that i have to be able to present male - some of the time, at least - until the summer of 2016. By then I will be 30lbs lighter. I'll have removed all my beard. I'll have had LOTS of voice training and practice. I'll have taken hormones for 12-18 months (could be pushing it, staying male after that long, but anyway ...). And then it's full time, FFS, a sweet new voice c/o Yeson ... and just a year till SRS.

Well, that's my 2014 New Years Resolution, anyway! 

In August - Finally started to come to terms with my desires of wanting to be female

I started - Shaving arms, hands, chest ect (Actually also shaving legs now also)
I have been thinking of way to come out
I made some progress in my voice yet still to afraid to test it out...
I started telling some friend online hoping it will help me come out to some RL friends.
I've started doing exercises that focus on my waist and hips (one can hope to hour glass them areas a bit pre-hrt!)

My year hasn't really been that crazy - honestly I think I still in a bit of denial. My hope for next year is I just get fed up enough to break through my fears and be able to muster up enough courage to tell my family so maybe I can move forward.

It is a start at least!

Let's see.

On HRT since August, changed to patches in October & added fin. pills in November. I feel good & some changes have happened to my body. My breasts are growing some & I sure feel so much nicer. My skin is smoother, etc...

I retired so no job to be concerned with however I still have some friends & relatives that I'm not open to so I do not see them much. However I've added a lot of new friends that like me very much as Francis. They support me more than I thought they would. One woman friend is very excited & supportive that I can finally have my SRS one day & really become her sister. Several other women friends wonder why I waited so long in life to become normal.

I've had 6-7 electrolysis visits & some facial hair has been removed however I still have so much hair left to clean away. It hurts & I dread each visit. My lady is nice & does all she can to reduce the pain however it still just hurts.

For 2014:

I need to find a new physician for blood work & to hopefully increase my HRT levels so my body can change more. I think my levels are low. I need to come out to more friends & forget the one's that do not matter to me anyway.
For the most part just relax more. take HRT every day & allow time to make the changes. I get it too big of a rush & sometimes become too frustrated such a slow change. Continue electrolysis no matter the pain.

Hopefully 2014 will be a good year.

Also, I've had several men that wanted to meet me & date some. I've delayed because I'm hopeful for my SRS soon, maybe late 2012 however I'm sure this will not actually happen. So I am going to date men again and enjoy being a woman the best I can. I've always loved being with a man as a hetrosexual woman. I need some love & pashion in my life for 2014 & love to be desired by a man.

I got a full time job as a female. That's one of the biggest steps you can take in transition. That indicates you can do ANYTHING for yourself, as yourself. Not only that, but it is a job that deals with the public and is typically filled with females. My wardrobe is getting larger too.

In 2014 I'm hoping to get enough money together to get SRS.

Well had an appointment with Charring Cross early in the year and I knew they were strict so I worked on my voice a lot early in the year and on makeup and stuff so I could go to the appointment fully dressed and try to get hormones. Got the makeup done well but voice still needs work. Either way it did not work because NHS rules are stupid. So I kicked the NHS to the kerb and booked myself to see a private doctor in the summer.

Kept working on my voice some more made some progress I think, though I find it hard to tell personally. I always think it sounds stupid but sometimes I think it is OK. Gonna get there in the end though for sure.

So saw that doc a few times and got hormones near the end of this year. Good times ahead I think. Will have to start electrolysis soon though, blonde/gingery hair might be good for lack of shadow but is not good for laser.

Hopefully will be full time by summer .I'll have been on HRT for 8 months. hopefully  will be alright . Need to hit the thrift stores for clothes. Starting out slow on acquiring  clothes I think mostly skirts and blouses help it go farther. It's happened so fast but been brewing for so long.

2013 - realized, after years of mental issues (depression, anxiety, general craziness and lack of focus), that it could all be down to my gender.  Started to piece together the jigsaw with 20/20 hindsight.  Bought some makeup, cheap wig (Party City - hideous), saw myself for the first time as Me.  More importantly, saw the potential.  Lost 30lbs.  Quit drinking.

2014 - Therapy.  Grow hair (and see how well Minoxidil and Finasteride work).  Lose weight.  Try to figure out whether I want to go forwards and commit to transition, or whether I am comfortable as myself right now.

It's been an interesting 2013, and 2014 promises more of the same - lots of ups and lots more downs, I'm sure.

I hope 2014 turns out to be a year where we all make progress towards who we really are.   

Quote from: Seras on December 31, 2013, 10:23:33 AM
Well had an appointment with Charring Cross early in the year and I knew they were strict so I worked on my voice a lot early in the year and on makeup and stuff so I could go to the appointment fully dressed and try to get hormones. Got the makeup done well but voice still needs work. Either way it did not work because NHS rules are stupid. So I kicked the NHS to the kerb and booked myself to see a private doctor in the summer.

Kept working on my voice some more made some progress I think, though I find it hard to tell personally. I always think it sounds stupid but sometimes I think it is OK. Gonna get there in the end though for sure.

So saw that doc a few times and got hormones near the end of this year. Good times ahead I think. Will have to start electrolysis soon though, blonde/gingery hair might be good for lack of shadow but is not good for laser.

Are NHS doctors still insisting on patients presenting as female BEFORE they have hormones? I thought the rules had changed - I've certainly seen NHS policy statements online that seem to suggest hormones can be given sooner. As it is, I think they're just being cruel, frankly. I know that I don't want to go public - even remotely public - until I feel confident that I am far enough along in the process to stand some chance of blending in. Of course it's unrealistic to expect to slip right into being seen as female from Day One. I just want the odds to be a little more in my favour ... I guess that means I'll have to go private all the way, then!

2013-
September, came to terms with myself
October, came out to my parents and began therapy sessions and started presenting as myself in public and at the therapy sessions
November, came out to my sister and her husband, had my first laser session, went to therapy and some support group meetings
December, started HRT on my birthday!

2014-
I hope to go full time sometime around the summer. I'm also thinking about getting a degree in nursing to get a better job in a much more accepting field.

I did so many things...Basically from a normal guy I became what I am now,,,transexual is what I should call it?

Anyway I have a long way to go , I just wish that 2014 will be the year that Ill find peace and be myself...

Btw
@megumi
I started hrt one day after my birthday
december 11 XD

Quote from: Carlita on December 31, 2013, 11:50:04 AM
Are NHS doctors still insisting on patients presenting as female BEFORE they have hormones? I thought the rules had changed - I've certainly seen NHS policy statements online that seem to suggest hormones can be given sooner. As it is, I think they're just being cruel, frankly. I know that I don't want to go public - even remotely public - until I feel confident that I am far enough along in the process to stand some chance of blending in. Of course it's unrealistic to expect to slip right into being seen as female from Day One. I just want the odds to be a little more in my favour ... I guess that means I'll have to go private all the way, then!

In many places they want you to present as yourself in order to see how serious you are. The system I work with here in the states is different from yours but the doctor I go to for my HRT is that way. From what I've been told by others he has turned a few away because they didn't present as female and showed up in male mode. One girl who passes 100% was denied by him years ago because of it and she hates his guts to this day but I see the reasoning behind it. HRT has quite a few implications, namely irreversible effects of long time usage. While yeah it's cruel that we are forced to go out into the world as who we are even if we DON'T pass at all, that experience is valuable to us in many ways. I found out exactly what I've always known and know the direction I need to go now because of that experience. Had I stayed hidden at home and waited till the day when I "passed" it would have never came simply because the system that I have to work within to transition. They have to cover their bases and there's not much that can be done about it.

Quote from: Megumi on December 31, 2013, 12:08:27 PM
In many places they want you to present as yourself in order to see how serious you are. The system I work with here in the states is different from yours but the doctor I go to for my HRT is that way. From what I've been told by others he has turned a few away because they didn't present as female and showed up in male mode. One girl who passes 100% was denied by him years ago because of it and she hates his guts to this day but I see the reasoning behind it. HRT has quite a few implications, namely irreversible effects of long time usage. While yeah it's cruel that we are forced to go out into the world as who we are even if we DON'T pass at all, that experience is valuable to us in many ways. I found out exactly what I've always known and know the direction I need to go now because of that experience. Had I stayed hidden at home and waited till the day when I "passed" it would have never came simply because the system that I have to work within to transition. They have to cover their bases and there's not much that can be done about it.

I agree with this! I think living as Zoe has been a huge step for me, and has 100% confirmed that i wish to have hormones in the near future, and that hormone therapy is gonna be the correct path for me!

However everyone is different, and i can totally understand why someone wouldn't want to live in there preferred gender without having taken hormones before. So it is totally mean of a doctor to refuse access to hormones for people!

I think this ducument may be of interest for people hoping to transition on the NHS (Pg 24 & 25 talks about hormone treatment)

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/files/pdfversion/CR181.pdf

It can be seen as cruel. I've been more fortunate because I take to my mothers side in facial features and have for a long time strolled around in public with no problems, especially with well done make up. Even before  I had long hair I had this cheap wig that didn't look to good but nobody said any thing. When I was in high school I always thought about going out but was terrified of doing it. I took me to the point I just couldn't stay inside any more because I wanted to live normally and not hidden. Yea, it is cruel but there seems to be a valid point behind it. Once you have the operation you really are stuck with your decision . A famous  tennis player Rene Richards did the entire transition and realized later she had made a mistake and tried to reverse the operation. I don't know how successful it was ,but I doubt it was the same as before.

Here's a brief synopsis:

Spring:
-accepted a new job outside of the classroom (not a conscious step, but an important piece of context)
-came out to my wife (not planned)
-came out to my sister

Summer:
-discovered Susans
-started counseling
-firmly decided that transition was necessary
-first psych appointment
-first pedicure (fun little first!)
-came out to my son (again, unplanned)
-came out to my parents

autumn:
-started my new job
-first endo appointment
-started HRT
-first changes 
-hit the 2500 post milestone on Susans 
-began facial hair removal

Quote from: Zoe Louise Taylor on December 31, 2013, 12:33:21 PM
I agree with this! I think living as Zoe has been a huge step for me, and has 100% confirmed that i wish to have hormones in the near future, and that hormone therapy is gonna be the correct path for me!

However everyone is different, and i can totally understand why someone wouldn't want to live in there preferred gender without having taken hormones before. So it is totally mean of a doctor to refuse access to hormones for people!

I think this ducument may be of interest for people hoping to transition on the NHS (Pg 24 & 25 talks about hormone treatment)

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/files/pdfversion/CR181.pdf

Thanks for the link! I was particularly struck by the following sentences: "Change of role must be taken into account when
endocrine treatment is being considered, but administration of hormones is not contingent on role change and patients should not have to take this step or be obliged to make a commitment to it." Well said!!

In my own case, I have a specific problem. I'm by no means a celebrity, but by virtue of my work, my transition is almost certain to become public. So I really can't afford to be spotted, and then publicly outed looking anything other than reasonably passable. Quite apart from anything else, the harm and embarrassment to my children would be too great. That's why I have to do things very slowly,and very privately - in every sense of the word.

One of the major, early influences on my attitude to transition, when I first began to think about it seriously, five years ago or so, was Andrea James and her 'Transsexual Roadmap'. Referring particularly to late transitioners (an I am VERY late!!), she wrote: 'You should make going full-time your primary goal. I also recommend finishing as many physical things as possible before going full-time. It's sad, but your physical presentation will have an enormous effect on the level of acceptance you'll have.'

I think she's absolutely right, and so one of my major resolutions for 2014 and 2015 is to work really hard on preparing the ground before I step out into the world in my new self.

But that's just me ... whatever works for other ladies, that's what they should do!

Quote from: Zoe Louise Taylor on December 31, 2013, 12:33:21 PM
I agree with this! I think living as Zoe has been a huge step for me, and has 100% confirmed that i wish to have hormones in the near future, and that hormone therapy is gonna be the correct path for me!

However everyone is different, and i can totally understand why someone wouldn't want to live in there preferred gender without having taken hormones before. So it is totally mean of a doctor to refuse access to hormones for people!

I think this ducument may be of interest for people hoping to transition on the NHS (Pg 24 & 25 talks about hormone treatment)

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/files/pdfversion/CR181.pdf

I think taking the plunge is the only way to get over the fear of passing or not passing.  By taking that big step, it reaffirms the trasnsition.  I have taken very casual steps towards transitioning. Now I feel emotionally ready for it, despite my family and friends not backing me up.

Quote from: izzy on December 31, 2013, 02:02:20 PM
        I think taking the plunge is the only way to get over the fear of passing or not passing.  By taking that big step, it reaffirms the trasnsition.  I have taken very casual steps towards transitioning. Now I feel emotionally ready for it, despite my family and friends not backing me up.

small steps for me has helped alot

2012 - March, faced being trans finally. September, began HRT.
2013 - Numerous problems with HRT, mainly yo-yo testosterone levels. Still battling that. Began serious facial hair removal at E3000.

2014 Goals:

1. Come out at work to HR and management in late February or early March, depending on when annual evaluations are done. (I'll come out after.)
2. Legal name and gender change, likely in the August - October time frame, dependent on money.
3. Full time, outside of work in the next few months, at work by the time I make the legal changes.
4. Continue facial hair removal throughout the year, aiming to be done by next December, if not sooner.
5. Find a new, more aggressive endocrinologist if this one keeps playing games over the testosterone issues.

Those are my major transition related goals for 2014.

Quote from: stephaniec on December 31, 2013, 02:10:11 PM
small steps for me has helped alot

I need to completely get overmyself. I do notice I only take step backs when my mom makes negative comments to delay my transition. I think I need to get her voice from stopping what makes me happy.