Quote from: KittyKat on January 10, 2014, 09:30:47 PM
I would start by seeing a therapist. There's a clinic in manhattan called callen lorde, they have therapists and doctors who deal with transgendered patients. If anything it would be worth looking it up. I drive all the way from Orange County to go there and my two appointments have been great. I do have a therapist closer to home who I was seeing for a month before I went.
What Kat said.
A therapist who has some experience with trans* patients is
the best place to start. Someone linked this WPATH link a while ago:
http://oldsite.wpath.org/find_a_provider.cfm Note that there are many more therapists out there who have experience with trans* patients, this list is just those who are members of WPATH.
Starting by speaking with a therapist who has experience dealing with trans* clients is absolutely the safest way to proceed. That said, I started by telling my wife. Ah ... well, no, that's not entirely true. I started by thinking I could hide what I was doing, even from my wife, & I self-medded, which put me in the ER after 2 days. But, once I got home from the ER & realised that I couldn't pretend it was all "just a fantasy" anymore, then I started by telling my wife. (I would recommend skipping the visit to the ER, btw.)
I was not prepared to hide something this big from her, even if it meant being put out of the house with no means of support. Fortunately, I had earned enough respect & trust from her in our 11 years of marriage that she was willing to stand by me, at least initially. (Which continues, btw. See:
This post.)
Finding a therapist with the right experience has been essential. I found one such 35 miles from my house, and my wife agreed to join me on my first visit with her. That proved to be very helpful for both of us. I have seen my therapist almost every week since the end of January 2013. (I do have issues other than just being trans*, and have been spending the majority of my time with her dealing with those other issues.)
On insurance: I have very good health insurance, but have to pay for a lot of the cost of therapy out of pocket because I didn't find a gender therapist in or near Philly who was in-network with my insurance. ymmv, but be ready for that. My therapist charges $125 per session. While not cheap, it is about what one should budget for. I had to pay the full amount until my insurance started covering 50% after $X. By mid-November I had paid out enough between my psycho & physical therapists (who are both out-of-network), that my insurance started covering 100%.
On time: 3 months of therapy is suggested before any recommendation is made about HRT. My therapist & my wife were both telling me to just bite the bullet & go make the appointment to get HRT within 6 weeks of me starting therapy. I delayed for over a month out of fear, still hoping I could avoid what now seems to have been inevitable. We have the
Mazzoni Center here in Philly, which uses the 'informed consent' model for HRT. This means that no therapist is actually required, but it is still a really good idea to start with a therapist.
I hope some of this is helpful.
Tessa
