Quote from: JS on January 13, 2014, 07:03:33 PM
Quote from: FA on January 13, 2014, 01:56:01 PM
I voted 'No, I don't need a test to tell me my gender'.
I might have been all over such a test early on, but now after transitioning it's a moot point that really doesn't matter.
Yep, that's fair enough. However, your explanation raises another big issue regarding GRS satisfaction. Do you think that there are some people who have transitioned who report that they're happy because, as you say, there's no going back (not easily, anyway)? I know this is quite a sensitive and contentious issue, but in the long run I think these kinds of conversations do actually help some people (like me, for example).
Maybe. I mean, even if I wanted to go back, it's not really an option. I mean, it's not like I would ever be a decent looking woman again. No tits, facial hair, etc. If I was going to stay a woman, I would have kept what I had (which was pretty good). That's obviously not why I'm staying male. But there is a certain finality to it. It'd be hard to go back and I wouldn't have the life I once did. I'm happy with my transition and my new body and all (I didn't have genital surgery though). But the grass is always greener. Sometimes I miss certain aspects of life as a female. I wouldn't call it regret. Just that it's not a Disney movie. This isn't Cinderella or Snow White and I'm no Prince Charming and this isn't happily ever after. It's just life. And it's really no better as male or female. I mean, sure the dysphoria is gone. But when all is said and done, you're still you with all your same problems.
I think this is a good song for this feeling:
Quote from: JS on January 13, 2014, 07:03:33 PM
QuoteI expect a physical test would show many people who transitioned as typical specimens of their birth sex... I mean if a man just decided he identified more with women and wanted to live as one, would that be such a terrible thing?
I agree that making this choice is absolutely fine and that nobody should have to seek anyone's approval to live this way. Then again, using the word choice even in this instance feels a bit jarring. I know this is all hypothetical, but would it really be possible for a man to want to live as a woman even though they didn't test as trans*? Assuming that dualism is a dead concept, as we should, where is his motivation to live as a woman coming from? Why has he always identified with women more than men? It strikes me as odd that this female persona could have arisen from nothing, having no foundation in brain physiology, but has rather been raised up by her own bootstraps.
Sorry, got a little carried away there. I felt like I was writing about myself.
Good question. You know, when I first came out as trans I very much believed this was a physical, absolute thing - like we really are literally male brains in female bodies and vice versa. Now I'm not so convinced. I know that for political purposes and all we need to keep up the status quo - that we have no choice, we're born this way, etc. And I understand the motivation behind it. But I'm starting to believe this is a journey some of us choose and not some cosmic mistake. I was meant to do this. I was meant to transition. But I no longer believe I corrected some accident of birth. I was born to go through this.
I think this is quite possible, as unpopular as the idea is:
QuoteIt strikes me as odd that this female persona could have arisen from nothing, having no foundation in brain physiology, but has rather been raised up by her own bootstraps.
I mean, why not? I was talking with someone about how the female role naturally suits some and not others. And that it is probably those for whom it doesn't suit that notice it the most and speak out most against it. Some cis women revel in femininity and are just feminine to the core. Sure they don't appreciate the sexism, but even with all that they'd much rather live as women. They're just more suited to it. It fits their personality. Maybe there are men like this too. I think it's quite possible. Say there's a little boy who just identifies much more with his mother, grandmother, and other female relatives and all things female. Because of the rigid way males are raised, he quickly learns that the kind of things he likes are reserved for females. He's a boy, so he can't stay with his grandmother in the kitchen and cook. No, he's got to go hunting with grandfather. He loves pretty things, but he's not allowed near them. Maybe his imagination conjures a female persona who gets to do all these things.
Now, this is just me thinking out loud and I realize these ideas are politically problematic. But I'm just really not sure someone has to have some kind of special brain wiring to prefer life as one gender or the other. I mean the world is divided into halves - male and female. And it's quite rigid. Cis men and women don't even fit squarely into these roles. I wouldn't be at all surprised that some people would simply prefer one life over another.
