I hope it doesn`t get worse. I just came to acceptance and spend 1/2 my time wanting to die.. I waould have to say the hardest part was trying to transition into a little boy when I was 4 or 5 for social survival. Being punished for not acting like a boy. It better not get any worse than that or I will not be able to make it through... Ang.

The hardest part has been coming out to everyone--especially my parents.  Just about everyone took it well except my biological family (who still has not accepted it).  I knew that in order to get from point A to point B, I had to come out to everyone, so I just did it.  The second hardest thing was my divorce.  I thought I would be financially ruined, but I have survived so far.

to leave the old life behind and start a new one as katia.

Whichever part that I'm going through at the moment.

Meghan, the most difficult aspect of transitioning has been the loss of most of my family, especially my kids.  That is something that burns deep in my soul all the time.  But if I ask myself "Would I go back to where I was and live the rest of my life as a male if it meant I'd have everyone back in my life, just as before?"  The answer is, "I'd rather die."

I accept they don't understand but it still hurts. 

Julie

Quote from: Rachael on July 11, 2007, 09:51:01 AM
for me too largely.
aside from loosing my parents, alls gone smoothly

That is awful Rachael, it happened to my friend as well. Her parents disowned her and threatened to call the police if she came near their front door. Why the polic would be in the slightest interested is a mystery......she has just managed to start talking with her mum again after 13 years..

Hi all,

Coming out to my wife was the hardest thing I ever did in my whole life. I needed to for soooooooo long and even when I did it took a whole lot of reserves and days went by with each day trying to pluck up the courage. I thank all of you back then who helped me to make the decision (seems a lifetime ago, although only 3 months). I actually took the advice of a SO in the end and glad I did.

I'm glad I did because now I can talk about how I have felt since 8

I'm sure it will be just as hard with other members of my family.

hugs and kisses

Nigella

Quote from: Kiera on July 14, 2007, 08:03:46 AM
[
So far I have taken the "easy, cowardly dog path" and am not OUT to anybody outside of my immediate family (due to where I live & work being a necessity) and as I gradually transition to a decidedly "more feminine look" those I am closest to on a day-in day-out basis (ie: at work I am very well liked and do not want to jeapordize that) will just have to draw their own conclusions about me (as I am not volunteering anything right now).

Hi Kiera, Me "coward" too!! Except I'm nowhere near getting HRT yet, but only my SO (and any others in the family she has chosen to tell) know about me. I can see me adopting the "gradual changes" approach like you and let people take me or leave me. Making a formal announcement and writing letters to people doesn't appeal.
Best wishes to you, Louise

The surgeon who performed my SRS was really, really good at preserving nerve endings, I truly believe that I'm every bit as sensitive after the surgery then I was before. As a result of this dilating at first it was incredibly painful, months went by of having to literally torture myself several times a day by using the stents so that I wouldn't close up down there resulting in another expensive surgery.
I fixed the problem by reshaping some of the stents from a rounded tip to a more bullet like shape and putting a layer of gel lubrication on the stent first and then cover that with liquid lube which resulted in a lot less pain and friction.
It's been a couple of years now and everything's fine and I can even ride a bike over long distances. The only bad thing I have to face is ignorance and how truly stupid some people are willing to act. Oh yeah, you know when a woman laughs really hard at something and she says I'm going to wet my pants and you would think oh how cute, well it's not.

Mine is weird kinda. Back when I first started my transition (late 80's), and publicly out I was always freaked out by second and third double takes making me feel like I'm not passable. Presently I still have guys take second looks at me but not the girls I have noticed. I have been telling myself that they are just being your typical male.

The funny thing is that I know that I am now passable and can't even pass as a male anymore. Every time I go out looking like crap I still get the "can I help you ma'am?? Makes me wonder why this paranoia won't subside. 

The hardest part for me was to own who I am. I knew that I was female, known it for a long time, but I felt like I didn't pass. I was a big person and I still am but I have gotten past all of that by being who I am and not letting people get to me. It took a lot of work and a lot of crying before I would accept myself. There was a time when I thought the heck with it, I will just be this guy and have these female thoughts and know myself as female in a mans body. That was when I took the sleeping pills. If I would have had my gun at that time, I wouldn't be here. That was very hard for me. Once I got over the fact there are other woman who are just as big as me and they have issues too. I'm not alone anymore. Of course I haven't found a woman with a ring size of 15 yet. There must be someone out there with that size of a finger.
Sheila

...Money, finance, the NHS stalling process, losing some of my friends, time wasting, trying to find specialist surgeons, etc...

Quote from: Lisbeth on July 07, 2007, 08:17:38 PM
The worst part was deciding to do it.  Going through the steps have been easy in comparison.

I think of these words from The Hobbit:

"It was at this point that Bilbo stopped.  Going on from there was the bravest thing he ever did.  The tremendous things that happened afterward were as nothing compared to it.  He fought the real battle in the tunnel alone, before he ever saw the vast danger that lay in wait."

The biggest problem for me is the time scale......how long it's taken....I asumed I would be able to achieve it in 18 months but 7 years down the line and it's not getting any easier......finance is also a big problem and also the misinformation first given to me at the start of what a transition really is......

I think taking the very earliest, small steps toward asserting myself was the hardest, because it meant passing from the known to the unknown and forbidden.

The next hardest was the months leading up to transitioning at work. My work transition itself was almost a non-event, after all that worry.

The most difficult part of my transition was getting off my duff and starting.  Inertia of 50 years can be one powerful force, but when I got to the "That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more!" point, I let my heart take the lead and I knew that I had chosen the right path.

I am thankful that I took it instead of being a mouse and running for cover.

Wing Walker

Yes, The future (tomorrow) is frightening, Not knowing what you're in for next is a hard part of transitioning. So far, for myself, it hasn't been so hard, but I can imagine some real dandy stuff comming up in the future.