Hi there,

Just wanted some of your thoughts. I have moved to a new area about a year ago and have been going to a church which after several months are now asking me to take some readings to the congregation during the service. I have also joined the prayer group.

I have am not living full time yet and have only presented myself as male. I feel to be honest and as I am being asked to participate in the services that I need to let the minister know that I have gender dysphoria and that I am transgender.

What are your thoughts?

hugs and kisses

Nigella

Quote from: Nigella on July 14, 2007, 08:36:54 AM
Hi there,

Just wanted some of your thoughts. I have moved to a new area about a year ago and have been going to a church which after several months are now asking me to take some readings to the congregation during the service. I have also joined the prayer group.

I have am not living full time yet and have only presented myself as male. I feel to be honest and as I am being asked to participate in the services that I need to let the minister know that I have gender dysphoria and that I am transgender.

What are your thoughts?

hugs and kisses

Nigella

They might throw you out.....many churches will be bigoted if they know you are wanting to transition and you have previously presented as male. The best idea is find another church after you have transitioned.

I don't ever go to church. I was made to go as a kid and hated it.....lol

I had expressed to my minister that given my TS and self-identification as a female, I would not participate in activities and functions which God has designated to be executed only by the men of the congregation.

I have no desire to displease God and while I do not expect to be approached to function in an activity or function which is reserved for the males of the congregation, if I am approached, I will state assertively but gracefully, why.

Sure I think you should tell the pastor.  It might be just the thing the church needs.  Pastors are required to keep confidences when asked, so be sure you are clear on that.  But it is a quick way to know more about the church and her pastor.  I hope you do it!

Thanks for the replies

Such a dichotomy of thought. Rhonda, I hope you don't think the church I attend is unorthodox but they have a woman minister so it would not apply. I know that some churches are fundamental in this but the one I attend is not.

I am going to make an appointment tomorrow to talk to the minister, that way I will know where I stand and I may be ostracised or I may be welcomed, I shall leave this in God's hands as to the outcome. If God wants me to stay I know what the answer will be, lol.

Berliegh thanks, I am the opposite, didn't go as a child never liked it but was not forced to go, now I love it.

hugs and kisses

Nigella

Posted on: July 14, 2007, 03:27:43 PM

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Hi all again,

Well back from church and I plucked up the courage to ask the minister if I could speak to them sometime. What a time to ask as it turns out they are going away on holiday tomorrow for two weeks. The reply was, would you like to speak to me now?" Gulp, OK, but in confidence.

Came out with the words, "Have you heard of Gender Dysphoria" reply "I have read an article on it." Well to cut the story short I told them and they said they were privileged that I shared it with them and that they were OK with it and there were no problems with them in me doing readings, etc. We spoke about membership and I asked would it be a bar to that? I got another affirmation that it would be OK. They said they would be looking only at my Christian background and not my gender issues, WOW.

I have felt today that there is some therapeutic advantages of letting other people know. I am having a good day. The best day I have had in years.

hugs and kisses

Nigella 

Wow, praise God! It's so wonderful that your church is affirming. That kind of blessing is surely straight from heaven.

David,

Thanks, I know and I can go knowing I am accepted for who I am by both God and His church. Best thing to is that I can speak to the minister any time I wanted about my GID and she prayed with me too.

hugs and kisses

Nigella

If the need or the chance arises, you might want to share this article written by Rev. Erin Swenson with your pastor.  I had the pleasure of attending a workshop on Pastoral Care of Transgender Persons given by Erin this morning at the national More Light Presbyterians conference.

Beverly

I don't think this is a particularly helpful comment for Nigella. I think it would be best to discuss this in it's own thread.

Quote from: NickSister on September 03, 2007, 10:09:13 PM
I don't think this is a particularly helpful comment for Nigella. I think it would be best to discuss this in it's own thread.

I tend to agree.  People of all faiths, including no faith are accepted here.  There are already threads for expressing those struggles.  Personally, I am thrilled for Nigella.  It seems that she has found what her soul was craving.

Peace,
Kristi

Faith is indeed a personal journey for everyone. I'm so glad that Nigella found her home... It's not for everyone, clearly.

But you're right, Kristi! There are other, better places to discuss whether or not faith is "brainwashing."

Thanks, everyone!

Quote from: David W. Shelton on September 03, 2007, 10:54:23 PM


But you're right, Kristi! There are other, better places to discuss whether or not faith is "brainwashing."

Thanks, everyone!

I am confused, what comment?

hugs

Nigella

I believe the poster deleted the comment.

Quote from: Nigella on August 08, 2007, 10:31:37 AM
Thanks, I know and I can go knowing I am accepted for who I am by both God and His church. Best thing to is that I can speak to the minister any time I wanted about my GID and she prayed with me too.

Nigella, I have found that it is hugely more likely for us to be accepted in a church with a woman pastor.  But I have a question.  When she prayed with you, did she use your right name?

Quote from: Lisbeth on September 04, 2007, 01:36:07 PM
Nigella, I have found that it is hugely more likely for us to be accepted in a church with a woman pastor. 

That's really interesting.  I've found it to be about equal between men and women pastors.  Guess it depends on where you are.

Kristi

Quote from: Kristi on September 04, 2007, 02:30:48 PM

Quote from: Lisbeth on September 04, 2007, 01:36:07 PM
Nigella, I have found that it is hugely more likely for us to be accepted in a church with a woman pastor. 

That's really interesting.  I've found it to be about equal between men and women pastors.  Guess it depends on where you are.

Kristi

It might have to do with being in churches where the women pastors can still remember having to fight to be allowed to be pastors.

Lisbeth and all hi,

didn't get that fare in discussing the in's and out of it all. She prayed not using my name if that makes sense. That I would know God's presence, etc. As for being a woman pastor I don't know if that made the difference. Anyway I am deciding at the moment if I should become a member. They are friendly and one lady even offered me a lift when I was walking to church last Sunday.

hugs

Nigella

Nigella, may we ask what denomination this church is?  Or is it non-denominational?

Beverly

Quote from: Nigella on September 05, 2007, 11:31:58 AM
She prayed not using my name if that makes sense.

Yes, it makes sense.

I brought the question up because the first time I went to church as Lisbeth I went to a Metropolitan Community Church named All God's Children, and this is the only place I've ever seen the following done.

They had several communion stations where individual ministers handled both bread and wine followed by prayer.  After giving me both elements, the minister asked my name and then said an individualized prayer using my name.  I found it to be a very moving experience where I could totally be myself for the first time.

Beverly Ann,

Church of Scotland, UK

hugs

Nigella