Quote from: Paula white on February 03, 2014, 06:22:24 AM
Will I just end up looking like a freak?

You are a woman. All women are beautiful. Even those who don't pass. I know several non-passing trans women who are very beautiful.

I'm 5'11". I assumed that, my MPB, male features for which I probably won't get FFS, and general lack of grace would make it impossible for me ever to pass.

Now I pass everywhere I go. Straight men flirt with me because they don't have a clue about me.

I started transitioning at 50. Weight can be lost with diet and exercise, and there are lots of very attractive tall women around these days. Hormones don't quite have the same effects on us mature transitioners that they do for the younger transitioners, but they still do a good enough job.

So come on in, the water is fine!

Hi Paula:
I was 61 when I started "Legal" HRT in July 2012, and I won't lie about how difficult it was to see the woman in the mirror.  But a woman finally emerged several months later and before the year was up I was full time, happy, and out to the world.  It was really hard to pass for many months after going FT, but there came a day when I didn't even think about it. 

So what's your alternative?  You'll wake up every morning from now until you're 60 wanting to change your life, and you'll feel like crap.  And you'll make everyone else feel like crap because you're constantly unhappy.  Or worse, you'll do what I did and start looking for hormones and dangerous over the counter drugs anywhere you can get them.  Then when you turn 60 you'll kick yourself in the ass for not starting earlier, and dream of how you life could have been so much different had you done something right at 50.

But on the other hand you can call and make an appointment with a gender therapist today.  And in a couple months begin a new life.  Gender disphoria doesn't go away, it only gets worse, so either way you'll be dealing with this every day

I was 6 feet tall and 270 lbs at 50.  By the time I began transition at 61 I was around 5'-11' and my weight was hitting 275 when I ate too much.  I'm now 198 and trying to loose more weight, but unfortunately as I've aged I'm getting shorter, and my health is not quite the way it was, so I'm only 5'-10". 

Take care Paula, and make that call for an appointment.

Hi Paula,

In answer to your questions. NO! 48 is not too late to start transition. It's never too late.

It's too late when you're in a pine box having been driving there from the regret of not having tried.

The Before and After threads are not the exceptionals. They are the ones who have tried. AND you won't look like a freak.

Huggs
Catherine

I suppose I jjust want to feel normal= happy and content. I have kinda got the ball rolling as things I have done so far at the end of last year and this are

1 told my wife (not easy nor did that go to well. She switches between " I will support you, and you need to do this because you are unhappy and miserable" To yelling at me ans wanting nothing to do with me or my " problem" as she calls it.

2 seen a general councillor who has recommended I see a gender specialist ( appointment Thursday yikes) paying private so far.

3 told my Doctor

3 Gone on a diet started exercise and have lost quite a bit of weight

4 started laser on face.

So in my mind perhaps I have started the journey already?

Quote from: Paula white on February 03, 2014, 08:16:45 AM
So in my mind perhaps I have started the journey already?

Yes, you have DEFINITELY started, and you have taken some awesome steps there my dear 

Quote from: Paula white on February 03, 2014, 02:45:07 AM
Hi.
I have been looked around the forum for a while, and it has truly inspired me to change and deal with the big issue in my life. However I have a nagging doubt that at 48 I have simply left it to late? My height at over 6 feet does not help, nor my weight at 225lb (albeit that is droopy rapidly down from 245 at new year). The before and after thread is truly inspirational but are these just exceptional changes. Won't I just end up looking like a freak?

I think you asked the question of the ages, if I do this how will I turn out? The answer is, you only get out what you put in. If all you do is pop hormones then I would say not much more than boobs. But the physical changes are in my mind only the tip of the iceberg. It's the social aspect that is really much harder. You have a long history and it's hard to unravel all of that a make a new person. Important to note I did not say impossible, just hard.

But you know what? What matters to me may not matter to you? What you consider as a great outcome, might to me seem lousy. But thats me not you. When I did my transition I shot for the stars. I didn't want to leave anything to chance. I wanted to blend into a crowd and just disappear. I was willing to spend whatever it took to blend in. What I found is that blending in is only part of the picture. I still need to interact with people, to buy a coffee, get groceries, go to work, socialize after work, etc. all of the things that non trans people take for granted and many of us cringe at the thought of having to do. A good voice goes so far but social skills are the key to blending in, and the only way to get there is with the passage of time. There is no other option.

I guess what I am trying to say is that each thing you do to improve yourself increases ones passing percentage. It will never be 100% even if you transition at the age of 10. This transitioning while young stuff sounds great but in the long haul over the passage of years and years, I think it will be interesting to see how many revert back after many years living in a certain gender role. Only time will tell on that one. I hope I'm wrong. The only thing transitioning when young does is one needs less energy (and money) to make the change. An older person needs more energy and thus money to make the change. If you have the money to spend on a good transition you can successfully cross the street and blend in. With all of the right tools the more you socialize the more you blend in.

I really hope it's not to late. I am 49 and just starting stuff. No hrt or anything yet

Quote from: Tori on February 03, 2014, 06:13:36 AM
I hate explaining my jokes...

silly me...I thought jokes were supposed to be funny?

Is 48 too late?   No.  When is it too late?   When you're dead.  I'm 59 and a month into HRT.  It's not too late.   

Quote from: Paula white on February 03, 2014, 08:16:45 AM

1 told my wife (not easy nor did that go to well. She switches between " I will support you, and you need to do this because you are unhappy and miserable" To yelling at me ans wanting nothing to do with me or my " problem" as she calls it.

Well, maybe it isn't too late for your wife to escape...think of it, you're a woman, middle aged, married for decades and then find your self hugely disappointed when your husband turns out to be a woman.

Think of the huge crisis you're inflicting on her....and you didn't even mention her in your opening post!

So no, it's not too late for you to start and it's not too late for her to escape and build a new life...without having it and her own sexuality, emotions, personality, etc disappearing into a gaping black hole...leaving only a shell of her former self.

there is an ancient saying by Confucius or someone that if your older than 12 best to think of rebirth because you'll probably need to think about it again.

I have come to accept that my wife would be better off if we parted. There is no doubt that this is s selfish thing to do ( transition) but I do not think I can continue anymore with my charade. My wife admits suspecting for years. :-(

"It's never too late to be who you might have been."

I am 49 and started about five months ago. I struggled with some of the same issues but finally came to the conclusion that regardless of how I turn out, I'd rather be an ugly woman than an unhappy/fake man. It's a long road, and an expensive one, but I've never felt more determined and happier in my whole life (except today, I have the flu today).

The big thing? For the first time I can be myself AND look others in the eye. I've not been able to do that before.

Jane

I'm 50.

I can remember confiding in a classmate that I wanted to be a girl .. I was in the 4th grade.

I've waited a long time. I've spend my life pleasing others and doing what others thought was "right" - it's been a disaster.

2014 was the year I decided "no mas".

It scares me too.

Danielle

Quote from: JordanBlue on February 03, 2014, 09:55:53 AM
silly me...I thought jokes were supposed to be funny?

Is 48 too late?   No.  When is it too late?   When you're dead.  I'm 59 and a month into HRT.  It's not too late.   

So sorry Jordan, I do my best to stay offline after I take my night meds, but sometimes I fail. It is a semi-frequent embarrassment. Just part of being me. Again, sorry.

Of course it is never too late.

It is never too late to be yourself and be happy! It's scary at first, but once the ball gets rolling there is no stopping you and no regrets! Let that girl out!!! I wish you the best!

I started at 32 and was convinced I'd be far too old...

And give your wife a chance. You know her better than we do, of course, but I oftentimes felt that my wife would be better off without me - and these days she gets VERY upset when I say stuff like that.  (Yes, we stayed together through transition. There are horror stories out there, but some couples do get the happy ending. I know I'm very lucky, but it happens.)

Never too late.

Started HRT at 55.  I feel better.  Bottom line.

Its incredibly rough on the wives, and mine did not know, she thought I gave it up at 25.  She also doesn't know I purged about 50 times, then had the choice to lose my mind or lose my self deception.

Good GID therapist should be helpful, mine was and was part of saving my marrage.  But I'm lucky, I am stage 4 and can live in both worlds, so its a different scenario.

Hang in there.  Small sacrifices are worth it to the wives.  And the Dysphoria is relentless so examining the selfish part is best done in therapy.

The more I read these posts, the more I feel unbelievable lucky.

No way i am 49.9 and full speed ahead .GO GIRLS we have rest of our girly lifes to enjoy !!

I started HRT 3 days before my 51st birthday.

I eat extremely healthy and HRT has had some great results so far. I will know more as the years pass. I know one thing a 51 year old can grow breasts well