Im am an ftm and the depression and anxiety of having an external body that doesnt match my internal kills me. I dont know what to do i just got out of impatient and have to go to impatient. Im on so many meds and nothing will make the pain and suffering stop. Its been going on for soo long i dont know what to do. I know for a fact that i am male but on the outside i cant be. I dont want to be ruined i will do anything for the surgery!! My parents are very supportive too and will put up xtra money for surgery!!!!! Its hard enough to wait a month my physical dysphoria is so heavy that i constantly think about suicide. The only reason im still here is to get the surgery and FINALLY get to be and to live as who i trully am.. I cant even look at myself. I just want this one thing my parents too and it is verrryy urgent. Please i need help.

Hi Spider-Man 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here

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Hugs

V M

Spider-Man, welcome.  We have a wonderful FtM community here, from pre-teens to retired guys.

Go meet a few of the other guys.  Many of them have already traveled your path.

You are indeed lucky to have a supportive family - all the more reason to live and grow and become the authentic you.

Hi and Welcome to Susan's.

You talk about needing surgery but not if you are on hormones or which surgery. Have you seen a therapist at all?

The waiting game can seem unbearable at times. Hang on, the wait is worth what you get after.

Hi spider-man,

A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.

There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.

The more meds you take to "cure" gender dysphoria, the less chances you have of curing it. Find yourself a therapist who understands gender issues and wean yourself off the meds. They only serve to dumb you down.

Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Hey Spider-Man,

The waiting is awful. However, you have your family on your side which is wonderful. And now you have us, your second family. Yep, you've been adopted, little brother. Come on in and make yourself at home. Feel free to vent your feeling here, ask many questions, and just be yourself.

I'm a little confused. Are you on hormones? Are you talking to a gender therapist?

Hi and thanks so much for the support guys. im not on hormones and i dont have a gender therapist. The problem is i cant do anything because of my age i cant even get a proper therapist. I just get therapy from people who are unsure of my case and throw me on depression and anxiety meds. They just make me feel worse because they all tell me that it doesnt matter about your outsides it just matters about you on the inside and they tell me ill never escape it and to just deal with it. Im totally done with all of the crap and i just want to do this ONE thing so i can be happy. Thanks again and i just really hope im not unloading my stress on to you guys. But thx again its really great to have found other people like me

A general therapist is all that is needed as long as they can deal with the issues. If they can't, ask them for one who can. You could also try your school's counselor/psychiatrist.