Perhaps, take a break from dating. Your last three stories in the last two weeks about three or four different guys (I do not recall if your ->-bleeped-<- story was real or hypothetical) have had a common theme, you have been in physical danger. You keep looking for love and coming to us only after you have reasons to fear or worry.
Find a new therapist or a doc who does informed consent and get on HRT. I never say that to people if I am not worried about their safety. I would rather they realize what they need to do themselves. I am not you, so my opinion could miss the mark. This is why I only say such things when I really am really worried. I see a pattern here.
Dysphoria allows all of us to make choices we wonder about after we get on the proper hormones. We have almost all been there. I sure have.
We are here for you.
Aloha,
Tori