At our local mall, we have a wig store, and in the past five years, I've gotten to know the employees that work there pretty well. They just hired a new employee, and I was telling her about myself. Last week I went in dressed, which I've done a few times before, and today  I learned that I can not go back in there as a woman because the manager of the store is afraid of what the customers may say, because some of them are cancer victims. Now as I said before, I've been in the store a few times before and I've never had any problems.

Gina

Quote from: gina_taylor on August 07, 2007, 07:42:53 PM
At our local mall, we have a wig store, and in the past five years, I've gotten to know the employees that work there pretty well. They just hired a new employee, and I was telling her about myself. Last week I went in dressed, which I've done a few times before, and today  I learned that I can not go back in there as a woman because the manager of the store is afraid of what the customers may say, because some of them are cancer victims. Now as I said before, I've been in the store a few times before and I've never had any problems.

Gina

Have had the chance to talk to the manager and see if there is a alternate arrangement that can be made.  There is a wig store that is quite well known in TS circles in Ottawa about 2.5 hours from me.  They too cater to cancer patients with their specialty of serving children who suffer from cancer.  I can completely understand their need for discretion as far as the patients who visit so to that end they schedule appointments for TS and utilize a private room for fittings and consultations.  You may want to suggest something like this to the manager of the store you are talking about.

While it is a form of discrimination I can completely understand the managers point if it concerns the cancer patients.

Steph

Discretion is called for here.  Sure they would like to have your business.  Perhaps you can arrange a private showing.  I did this once in a similar situation.  I went in during the hour that they typically closed for lunch.  They were very nice to me.... and this was in Utah!

Cindi

Thanks Steph for your concern. A CD friend told me that I should look into what the GBLT protects. But as said, being that where I live is more of a retirement community, they have more elderly people coming in and some are cancer patients and they feel the need after being on kemo that they need a wig. If a cancer patient were to walk in while I was there, I'd descretely leave, but as said not all of their customers are cancer patients and they do have just your regular run of the mill customers. The other day when I was in DRAG, and there was one employee working, a customer needed help, so I obliged andthe color of the wig was too red, and I suggested certain ways of fixing her complexion with makeup, and not once was she bothered by the fact that I (as a man) was giving her makeup tips.

Now I understand about the need to for proper conduct and behavior. I've never once gone in and be foolish. If no one is there, I'll just hang around and chit chat with the emplyees.  It's never bothered me to be dressed and in a public place. I had once wnet in there at around three in the afternoon and the store maanager was surprised that I would be out in broad daylight. She thinks that we should only come out at night.

Thanks Cindi for that excellent suggestion. I buy all my wigs from this one store, and right now with the way the economy is, they're always happy when they make a wig sale.

BTW, my current picture was taken at the wig store. There is one employee there that doesn't care, and she told me that my makeup looked great!

Gina 

I find that very appalling, to be discriminated against cause you are transgender. I understand about how cancer patients feel, but they must know that we are not perverts and that we exist and in some cases we help. I have given many wigs and bras to my cancer groups here. I have walked many miles for cancer survivors and have helped in many ways at the hospice. I have given money and time. They have not said a word to me about my being trans and have accepted me. This is my opinion.
Sheila

Very well put Sheila, Unfortuantely society doesn't think about how much we can give. They just look at the exterior of ourselves and they have their own pre-judged ideas. As far as I'm concerned, the wig store has just lost a valuable customer.

Gina 

I'm sorry to hear what happened, Gina. Sad that what others think is more important than a valued customer. It's their loss. I love your avatar, also.

Gennee

Sorry to hear that, Gina.  It is a shame that this place has flaked out on you...one would think that money is money, regardless of who it comes from, but I guess that doesn't apply to these folks.  Must be nice to have so much business you can chop off a whole segment of your customer base.

The wig shop I go to here in Dallas is by appointment only.  That eliminates any problem with customers freaking out about who else is in the store...plus, they have lots of TG clients and are quite happy to take our money.

....Laurry

Hey Gennee, it's been a while. How have you been girl??? Thanks for your sweet compliment about my avatar. I sent a letter to the store manager just telling her that what she's done is consiered discrimintion and that she'll never see me in her store again. Very well put: Her lose 

Your absolutely right there Laurry, money is money and right now with the way the economy is, they're selling more pieces than full wigs, which they'd make more of a commission on.This wig store is just a typical store in a shopping mall that sells wigs from $100.00 and up.

Gina 

I'm doing fine, Gina. I will be starting classes in a couple of weeks. It will be my last semester. I'm working on a bachelor's degree in childhood education.

Will be out dressed again this weeknnd probably and definitely this coming Tuesday.

Gennee   

I'm sorry about your experience.  Have you actually spent any money at the store?  If not, that may have been a factor in the way you were treated.

Quote from: gina_taylor on August 08, 2007, 08:51:24 AM
I had once wnet in there at around three in the afternoon and the store maanager was surprised that I would be out in broad daylight. She thinks that we should only come out at night.

Yep, although not as common, some daywalkers do exist and come out of their coffins before nightfall.

That is indeed very unfortunate.

I am not passable so I do not go out at all and my other life (part time CD) demands a very masculine appearance.

When I shop I go with some CD friends of mine and wee go to second hand stores and shop together.  Safety in numbers.  In some of the adult stores that cater I engage the women working there for tips.  They all are usually very young (I am 41) and they are very helpfull and never judgemental.  I tell them I like to dress and they smile and are eager to help.  I try on stuff (The Crypt in Denver) and they giggle and give me advise.  One even playfully patted my rear in a leather mini.

Anyway, saftey in numbers is what works for me.

Sincerely,

Karen

Gina,

Here in California, that would be illegal. I don't understand the logic of any of this. What? Cancer patients are allowed to be bigoted and you should just accept this because they have cancer? And I don't understand your attitude of saying you would leave the store if someone else came in. You are not a sex pervert. You are a human being who deserves to be treated with dignity. I would never accept a ban. I would make them kick me out and make sure everyone within range of my voice knew why I was being kicked out.

Bigotry can never be accepted. I am sorry this has happened to you. I can only hope that eventually the state you live in will protect you in places of public accommodation. Everyone should be able to access all places of public accommodation equally.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Quote from: Elizabeth on August 09, 2007, 07:48:53 PM
And I don't understand your attitude of saying you would leave the store if someone else came in. You are not a sex pervert. You are a human being who deserves to be treated with dignity. I would never accept a ban. I would make them kick me out and make sure everyone within range of my voice knew why I was being kicked out.

Bigotry can never be accepted. I am sorry this has happened to you. I can only hope that eventually the state you live in will protect you in places of public accommodation. Everyone should be able to access all places of public accommodation equally.

I can understand why they did it.  Fear.  The person who kicked her out feared the possibility of losing customers because of their own internal bias.  This person themselves felt uncomfortable (they really shouldn't work in a wig shop in this case) with the transgendered community.  They fear that others will share the same bias and leave because they too feel uncomfortable. 

I'm not justifying nor advocating their actions, but rather merely analyzing them so we will know how to work with these people better.  I know my Mom and Dad had the same fears about me and that's why they told me to find another job.  They explained their thoughts on it well enough for me to fill in any gaps which was easy because I know them well enough and have put a considerble amount of thought into it.

Yes Melissa, I have bought three wigs from the store, so that does make me as a good customer to them. I fear nothing. As long as everything looks right and my makeup has been done properly I'll go anywhere during the daytime. I'm not one to be confined to the darkness.

Hey Karen, that's really good that you engage the women for tips. I've always found that it's best to get something from someone that knows something. There are a few CD's here, but I haven't had the pleasure of meeting them.

It's actually the discretion of the store manager Eleizabeth. Ocassionally they might have a cancer patient come in to buy a wig because they are losing their hair, and if I'm in their they feel that I may scare off the customer. Businesses have been so dead nowadays, that I could easily sit in the wig store for hours and see maybe four customers come in and leave with nothing.
but when they do have a customer who is seriously thinking of buying a wig, I'll just descretly leave on my own corelation.

It's not that it's that obvious that I'm a MtF cross-dresser, but I have found taht people that have lknown me from before will know who I am even with all the makeup on my face. Personally I feel such a change come over me when I get dressed that it's unspeakable.

Gina 

Quote from: gina_taylor on August 10, 2007, 06:09:55 AM
I fear nothing. As long as everything looks right and my makeup has been done properly I'll go anywhere during the daytime. I'm not one to be confined to the darkness.

That part of my post was a joke about comparing us to vampies (and reference to the Blade movies).  I thought the coffin reference would have made it obvious enough to indicate what I was talking about.

Very funny Melissa , but yes I can see the comparison. The store manager received my letter and the employee that had told me about the situation asked why I sent the letter and why I'd bring up about discrimination. More or less she was telling me that with me being in the store dressed it's going to deter the customers. I'm sorry but I haven't seen that yet. I'm not a flamboyant dresser, so I'm not looking at drawing attention to myself.

Gina 

Quote from: gina_taylor on August 11, 2007, 05:27:49 AM
...the employee that had told me about the situation asked why I sent the letter and why I'd bring up about discrimination. More or less she was telling me that with me being in the store dressed it's going to deter the customers.

And does she have proof that this would be the definite outcome?  If not, it's discrimination pure and simple.

In answer to your question Melissa, no she doesn't know for sure if that would happen. Any time a customer comes in and wants to try on a wig, that's when I queitly exit.

I was in the wig store last night, and the employee working there had told me that the store manager has said that I am not allowed back in the store. Grant it, at times I'll just hang out, but time goes by quicker when you have someone to talk to, instead of palying computer games all day. But becasue I'm more of a friend than a customer, the store manager sees me differently. But one thing that I did find out, is that the store maanger talks a lot with her full time employee. 

Gina 

QuoteI was in the wig store last night, and the employee working there had told me that the store manager has said that I am not allowed back in the store.

That's discrimination! It's really terrible the way you're being treated. Is the store in a mall? If so, it might be a good idea to also write the owners of the space they're leasing.

Zythyra