Hi, the truth be known, is that individuals in the transgender population vary in behavior and presentation like members as do the members of any other population group. Within every population of people there diverse ideas of what is acceptable presentation and behaviour and what is not. Within a society each individual shares space with individuals who are different from us and may even make us feel uncomfortable. People whose gender identity is female share space with every other individual whose gender identity is female. And people whose gender identity is male share spaces with all other individuals whose gender identity is male. Our physical bodies will have a variety of differences. Not all people whose gender identity is female are going to have physical characteristics such that they will pass as cis females, some of us will always pass only as transgender females with many physical characteristics of males.
However, this does not mean that there are not codes of decency for every individual for every individual. Each of us has the right to privacy and our shared facilities should be structured as to allow each individual to keep their private parts private. Female restrooms are mostly structured for this, while male restrooms for the most part are not. Except for the one seaters in every female restroom I have been in there is no reason for anyone to witness an other individual's genitals unless they were peeping through the cracks, and even then my clothing keeps my private parts private. Gym locker rooms are another matter because many of them have public shower and dressing rooms, at least male locker rooms do. If this makes people uncomfortable then these rooms need to be changed or adapted so that individuals who want more privacy have it.
As far as being sexually aroused in public places including dressing rooms and showers, this is not socially accepted for anybody, male or female no matter what their genitalia is.
Addressing inappropriate conversations in public, just needs to be handled by each individual. When anyone gets too personal with someone that they just meant or barely know it creates problems. This includes conversations about religion, politics, gender identity, sexual matters. We just have to politely let the other person know that we don't feel comfortable discussing the matter with strangers and each of needs to be polite and drop the matter.
The individual who advertized that she was transgender in glitter has the right to do that, and each of us who is uncomfortable with it just has to deal with it. Personally, I hate to see young men with their pants down around their knees, and even though I spent thirty years as an elementary school teacher whose job it was to be concerned as to rather my students dressed appropriately to the school dress code, just have to ignore it. I live in a ocean beach area where individuals go into restaurants in all kinds of swim suits and without shoes, if the management doesn't do anything, I just have to deal. I try and cross the street and someone driving a car six blocks away speeds up, and I just make it across the lane without getting hit. People in the connected townhouse next to me turn up the bass on their stereo system and vibrate all four connected town houses, and what can I do, nothing, just deal. Neighbors have loud parties and barbeques which aggravate my sinuses and give me headaches, and what can I do, nothing, just deal with it. There are going to be transgenders whose style makes us uncomfortable, but just like much else in life, we just have to ignore it. I also completely understand that, I also have behaviors and mannerisms that others have to ignore and deal with because my actions make others uncomfortable and irritate them.
Now I will state it plainly, that at 67 years old, I am a transgender grandma, who is never going to pass every minute as a cis female. I am also a female who has fathered six children, the oldest who is in her forties. I have thirty years of elementary students and old friends who knew me when I tried to pass as male. Members of my family, my children's friends who were also my students are my friends on Facebook. I am out to them all on Facebook. My current cis partner accepts me as a male who presents as a female, and not as the woman, that I am. I have to live with that. I am really a plain Jane. I am called ma'am one second, and sir the next. I am just as much a woman as any other woman. This is me. I will probably make some of the transgender women who wish to pass totally as cis women uncomfortable because I will never fit into two gender only paradigm. Well get over it, many of us transgender women are not going to fit the mold, simply because we can't, and some of us because we won't, and we shouldn't have too. But, we are still women. Eleanor Roosevelt did not fit the mold, neither did Calamity Jane.
I don't mean any disrespect to the person who started this forum, the individuals she meant, made her uncomfortable, which she had a right to feel. When this happens to each of us we have to do what we need to do to extract ourselves from the situation. But this does not mean that we have the right to insist that laws be passed to take away the individual rights of other people or structure our public facilities in away to exclude other people. The fact is that facilities that are available to women should be available to all women without exception, this includes transgender women. The same goes for men. But these facilities must be structured in such away as to provide each individual who desires it areas where they have the individual privacy they need. Within these facilities each individual owes it to themselves and others to behave modestly and keep the private parts of their bodies as private as possible. Mixing of adults and children has always been a problem and so is having areas where children are unsupervised. I do not wish to be nude in the presence of children in any situation. While teaching in some areas adults and students used the same restrooms at the same time. While other schools had policies against this, and these provided staff only restrooms which in some cases were male/female restrooms, one seaters. What this tells me is that the current structure of our restrooms and dressing rooms in gyms and pool areas are not structured to meet the current needs of our population today. Many of these locker rooms have too many areas which allow public nudity only. My only personal solution would be for me to never be publically nude in these areas. I would shower in my swim suit and put on my sun dress if there were no private showers and shower again at home. In the gym, I would find a private area to change to my workout clothes and afterward wear my sweat suit home if their were no private shower and dressing areas. But this is just me.
I must also add that my perspective is colored by the area of the country I grew up in, that is the Dakotas. In most cases people in this area have been socialized to avoid public confrontations, unless they are intoxicated. Thus if service in a public business does not meet our standards, we say little to the business, complain about the poor service to our friends and relatives, and never go back unless we absolutely have to. In many small towns some public business and services are the only game in town. Eventually the complaints get around to the business concerned, and they make changes, or not.
This generally means that polite transgender people from the Dakotas, unless they are intoxicated, would use the dressing facilities of their gender in such away as to not call attention to themselves or create a hassle. Those of us that are modest would keep our privates private, while those who are not would follow the customs of the facility. Of course, as in all areas of the country Dakota people do have their disrespectful cads who make asses of themselves. We just write them off.
Where I live now in Florida, if somebody ticks somebody off, they just shoot them. Then they tell the police the person they shot made them fear for their life, so that they had no other recourse, but to shoot them. The shooting is very difficult to get a conviction on, or ruled justifiable. This excuse is used by both the police and private individuals. So when I use the lady's room, I pick one that isn't busy, or a one seater. I go in quietly, talk to no one, do my business, hide in the stall if I feel their could be a problem with someone else in the restroom, wash up and leave quickly, drawing as little attention to myself as humanly possible.
