Recently I have been wondering if I should come out to my mom as being a transgender person. She keeps asking me if I am gay and I keep telling her no. I was born male and I am attracted to females. However, I have symptoms of  ->-bleeped-<-. Ever since I was young I would like to pretend I was being turned into a girl and pretend I was put into feminine clothes. As I grew older, the thought of turning into a woman became more like a fetish to the point where I even thought about having sex with a guy as a woman.

For the most part I am comfortable with my body as a guy. However, I have been depressed for the most part of my life and when I was skinny I always felt like I was too big. Ive heard this could be caused due to minor gender dysphoria but I am not entirely sure. Right now I am almost always depressed and some days I feel I am more male where others I feel like I am female. I have no interest in transitioning due to religious reasons, being scared of what people will think, and quite frankly I would not pass at all. Sometimes I wonder if I really am transgender because I don't want to transition as I would become uncomfortable with my body at that point. However, other times, if I could magically turn into a moderately attractive female through science or what not, I would take up that option in a heart beat.

The fact that I am comfortable with myself and don't want to transition makes me think I should not come out to my mother as she will think I am just some pervert who is into wanting to be a girl. I have never crossdressed but one of my greatest dreams was dreaming I was turning into a woman and was able to go to the mall and pick out dresses to fit my new feminine body.

It should be noted my mom is a strict southern baptist and does not understand trangender or gay people at all. As of now I am living in an apartment with a room mate and for the most part financially dependant. The reason I want to come out is so she could understand why I have a lack of motivation recently and the possible true cause of my depressioin. Not only that but I am tired of the way she talks about gay and transgendered people around me.

If I were to come out I figured I would send her an email describing my situation and give her links to resources. I would tell her for the first few days I would not want to talk about it because I would want her to think about it. When I was younger I did try to come out to my mom and dad saying I was "turned on" by the idea of turning into a girl. They became angry with me and somewhat ridiculed me by making me spin around asking if I felt like a girl.

Honestly at this point I'm tired. I don't know where I land in the spectrum or if I should keep it to myself anymore. I think with time my mom and dad would accept me for who I am but I don't know if it would be best to keep this to myself or not. Sorry for such the long post, I really needed to vent.

Seriously though, can anyone give me advice on whether or not it is a good idea to come out of the closet and if so, if it is a good idea to do it the way I described above?

Sit down with your mother & just tell her you are a woman inside & her daughter. Tell her you love her & need her in your life. Cry some, let her cry some, etc........ but just let her know who you are & that you need her help.

Thanks for the advice. I don't know if I'm up for a sit down talk with her about it yet though.

Good luck to you. Hopefully your mother can be your best friend. Mothers & daughters are very close.

Hmmm every case is singular, but I'm tell you my sincere opinion:

If you are not planning to transition, then perhaps you don't have necessarily to tell your mom that you are transgender. Considering your mom as a religious person, she might have difficulties to understand and accept you. We can't know how will she react...she can accept you and great! But she can have a hard time to understand and, in this case, from this day on you will not be seen anymore as the person you were. She can change the way she treats you and not for the better. Once you depend of her financial support, it might be better if you avoid this kind of conflict right now. It is a great risk and you need to see if it is worthy and necessary.

But, at the same time, if you are not planning to transition...then telling her should be quite less impactant than telling her that you will become her daughter

I only told my mother when I was already on HRT and only after a lot of time thinking and fearing about her reaction. I am in the middle of my transition, so telling her was a need. I was already presenting noticeable changes and I couldn't stay anymore in boy-mode with her. I needed her to know because I needed her support.

Initially I got terrible reactions from her and from my grandparents (my mother told them). Right now my mother is almost accepting me, but my grandparents stopped talking with me and they think I am some crazy pervert...they are making every single effort to discourage me about it. I was extremely close to them, almost like I am with my mother...but now I feel I lost them...

I don't want to discourage you, but you have to know that telling your parents is very risky. But, on the other hand, there are a lot of girls here that had excelent reactions from their families. I think it is almost a lottery. You can't predict.

So, my final advice is: think really carefully about it and see if you really need to tell her the hard thuth. If your problem is depression, then you might give her a few hints about the reasons not telling clearly and openly that you are transgender.

I hope I have not messed up with your mind, but I am being sincere 

I see where you are coming from Natalia and that was one thing I was worried about. I'm not even sure where I lie on the transgender spectrum. BTW you look really pretty in your picture.