Please don't quote or copy images. Keep it secret, keep it safe. Also read wordy text before interpreting photos. Thank you.
I wanted to share some pics and get opinions on my transgender friends appearance. She's feeling incredibly insecure and scared about going full time soon (early summer or late spring) and how she is going to be taken or judged by society, so she would really like honest opinions on her potential to pass as female. As you all know, the ability to pass or blend is really important to this friend (probably more than it is healthy), so she really does care to know whether or not she is a lost cause in this department. As scared as she may be to hear it, she needs a dose of reality in order to process how she should move forward. And before I get into it, I'd like to apologize for being so wordy and weird with this post, but this was the only way I'd feel comfortable posting this and taking this big step, so bear with me and my craziness. After all, you all know how she is and must know how terrifying this post is for her, lol.
Now before you judge my friends' appearance, please keep in mind a few things. Even though my friend is very sensitive about how she looks as she feels both ugly and unpassable, she is looking to hear honest opinions that are done in a considerate manner. While she doesn't want anyone to tear her down, she needs to know the reality of whether they will ever be able to pass and face her situation for what it really is. So don't let the fact that she is a fragile snowflake prevent honesty because that's what she "needs" even if it upsets or hurts her. It's time for her to face facts. Also, I should note that she is aware that there is much room for improvement and that her current appearance doesn't pass as she is stuck in androgynous stage limbo. She has a ways to go with hormones, laser, losing weight and remains pre- rhinoplasty. Yet at the same time the hormones keep making a big impact (slowly), laser is being done at 6 week intervals, and she's being really careful to exercise and limit her eating (usually to one meal a day) so she can continue to lose that horrible excessive weight she put on during her denial phase. With all that said, it should be clear that there is still much to be done. However, she also realizes there are some flaws she can never change and will have to live with forever; therefore, she needs to know whether or not she's a total lost cause. While 100 percent passing isn't possible for her and she is coming to accept that, she would like the ability to blend in with the majority of people as she doesn't want the entire world knowing she is trans.
Another thing to note is that these pictures are very raw and are more or less average photos of her (not the best nor are they the worst). Generally she takes daily progress photos at night and in the morning with her phone to see how their natural appearance is changing with the influence of hormones. So she isn't wearing any makeup or doing anything special (other than hair straightening in some) and sort of looks like a hot mess in baggy clothes in most. These photos are her natural appearance either before she is going to bed or while she's getting ready to head out for the day. Since my friend hopes to one day come somewhat close to male fail mode (understanding it's not entirely possible for many reasons), it's important that they are judged for how they really look and not a dolled up picture that doesn't represent their true everyday appearance. Obviously makeup and clothing helps improve her appearance in a big way, but I feel that could skew how people judge her natural appearance and whether there is passing potential. So don't judge her "beauty" (or lack thereof lol) but judge her potential to one day pass as female and let her know if she really is a lost cause because sometimes she feels that way and wonders if she is just hopeless.
Okay, now for the photos. Remember keep all of the following in mind. She's either in boymode or a hot mess before going to bed, so they aren't the most flattering shots. And she is wearing loose clothes, so she looks much bigger and fatter than she really is. Still they show how she really looks and that's what needs to be seen in order for accurate assessment, so be honest on whether she has the potential to one day pass or not. I'm so scared. I'm terrified, but she needs to hear the reality despite her insecurities and fears. Okay here is the link to her photostream-
http://www.flickr.com/photos/118627967@N03/Now her facial flaws that need fixing are very obvious. She has a horrible hairline which detracts from a feminine appearance. My friend wants to find the right hairstyle that will diminish the prominence of the forehead and is currently thinking about going with wispy or feathered bangs ( she hates blunt bangs). I think that will do a lot of good for her passing ability, what do you think? Now we come to the worst flaw: her nose. Yes, the beastly beak which she calls a nose. She HATES her nose and it kills her to know she is going to require a nosejob because she doesn't have the means for it and will need to wait some time before getting it fixed. This is one of the biggies that really prevents her from passing in my opinion. Do you think it makes her unpassable or will keep her at that point if she doesn't get a nosejob? Besides those issues, makeup does wonders and she isn't too concerned about anything else for when the time comes.
Okay, I'll leave these photos up for a day or so. Please don't quote the images or copy them. She's shaking and terrified for doing this, but she feels this is something she has to do. After all, she needs to get over her fear and could use some help regarding her appearance. Besides she needs to face facts and realize what she is working with rather than dreaming about her ideal situation and hoping for that to come. So, this is a huge step for her even if it doesn't seem that way. In any event, she would really like honesty about whether or not she can one day pass. Any tips or advice you may wish to share would also be appreciated. Maybe sometime in the future or soon she will show everyone what she looks like in makeup and clothes that suit her, lol. We'll see. Thanks everyone!
By the way, in case anyone stumbles upon this and recognizes my friend, please leave them be. I'm sure you probably have thought she was weird or different in some way and now you know why. Since she was little this has been eating away at her soul and causing her tremendous pain and sorrow that has been really hard to cope with. As though her entire life she's been trapped in this emotional and physical prison that she couldn't escape. If she is ever to have a happy life and feel comfortable in her own skin, she needs to embrace this and be true to how she feels on the inside. I understand that it's different and perhaps confusing, but please don't judge, ridicule or hate them for being different. All they want is to live a normal/happy life where they can feel free to be who they are. I think that's something we can all agree with, so please respect her privacy as she would respect yours. Thanks in advance for this consideration.
