I was just wondering, after you've transitioned, do any of you ever tell anyone you're a trans person? I'm addressing this question to any trans person of any gender, whether you're FtM or MtF.

I've noticed that a lot of us (myself included) would prefer to live their lives as their preferred gender as though they were always that gender, not as born the unwanted gender then became the other, which is basically the point of transitioning anyway.

Some trans people even go on to be activists for the LGBT community and some don't mind people knowing about their prior gender and that they've transitioned but me personally, as an MtF I'd prefer to live my life as female, not as having transitioned... all though I did...

Well, when it comes to meeting new friends and dating, is it even a good idea to tell those people then? My female friends, I just may as they are supposed to be my friends anyway. But my boyfriend or whoever I date, I just may not because that's where things get dangerous. I've noticed in one of Kat Blaque's YouTube videos, she was talking about how telling a guy she's trans is prone to getting a lot of transwomen killed because the man was so attracted to this woman and then he finds out she was once a male, he gets so angry and putoff by that that he ends up murdering her. God forbids that happens to me.

How about this: I will tell very few people as possible. My gender status will be like my Social Security Number. It's just not something you tell people. Well, funny I should put it that way because I'd rather give people my SSN than to tell someone I used to be a man.

The other reason is, I, unfortunately, have had my experience with getting clocked on quite a few occasions and I did not like or appreciate it at all. I've also seen people point to transwomen and say "Oh, she's really a man!", tell transwomen "You are a man!" and all that other garbage (same with telling FtM people they're still women) and that would just anger me on so many levels. "Anger" wouldn't even be the word to do it justice! I'm just afraid that even if I tell someone I think is my friend that I'm a transwoman, they might tell one person, who ends up telling the next person and so on and so on. Well, ideally I would want the "There is no way in Hell you were born male," response.

But then again, I don't want to live as a "transgendered woman" just as a naturally born female and by that I mean, I want to be gendered as female everywhere I go, on the phone, and to go to the women's bathrooms and changing rooms without anyone giving me a second glance, and to walk down the street without a man staring at me because I'm not walking right or something is giving me away (I've also had that experience and I didn't like it) or that they're trying to read my gender, and all that other garbage.

That being said, unless I have a super good reason for doing so, I will tell very few people as possible or just won't tell people I'm trans at all. Just a courteous side-note, if I have said anything in this post to offend anyone, I apologize. I'm open to your thoughts and opinions about this matter.





I'm just ready to leave my male past behind once and for all.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on March 13, 2014, 11:14:39 AM
I tell people because I am not ashamed of who I am. In todays tech oriented society it is almost impossible to go truly 100% stealth. I have a past and if I start to lie about it or deceive I then run the risk of being caught in a lie and further damaged. You can go your whole life in stealth, but it only takes one person finding out to shatter your world. I would rather people know and judge their response instead of being approached by someone who found out and surprises me placing me in a dangerous position. Everyone I go out with knows on meeting me for the first time, especially if their is a chance of a kiss or possibly a relationship potential. I feel personally you have to give people the truth because to deceive them in a moment of intimacy is far more dangerous than a social moment.

As much as I hate to admit it, I have to say that you are absolutely right.

But, it sounded to me (forgive me if I'm wrong), like you were saying that the truth always comes out because I might be trying to live a lie or something to that effect. That's just what I gleam from your post. I'm not trying to do that at all.

I do see myself telling one person or another about my male history... provided... pro-vided... I have a good reason for doing so as I kept saying in the OP. Like... I would have to really know and be close with this person and she and I would have to be close friends, and not to mention I would really need to have that person's trust. To each their own. By that I mean, hey, you're not ashamed of being an MtF and you know what? I applaud you for not. I discourage shame of being who you are.

But as for me, I'm not ashamed of being MtF but it's not something I'm overly proud of. It's just that no matter how passable I look or sound or no matter how much I pass as a genetic female, the fact still stands I was born male and there is no changing that. I don't like that I was born a male, and I have beyond 100% ever right not to. That being said, that doesn't mean the people I'm affiliated with needs to know about it.

So if a guy is attracted to me, I'm not gonna tell him straight out, "I was actually born male." NO! I'm not gonna tell some random man (or woman even) out on the street my misgender history when I barely even know their first name, especially if I'm sure I'll have a run-in with that person in the future or will be working with them at school or in the workplace. If I'm at a hospital and I'm being treated or whatever, sure. Well, maybe as it depends on what I'm being seen for.

You are right about one other thing. Just imagine having a group of friends you've known for a while ("a while" as in say... three years, maybe four) and one of them discover you were once a man. I can't myself fathom how bad that piece of truth would just blow up in everyone's face. Because Kat Blaque also said in one of her YouTube videos that once people find out you're trans they treat you differently and it's not positive, especially if they find you out themselves.

So I guess it's all a matter of trusting the right people, knowing who to tell and when.