Do you guys have any advice on the matter? I'm the one who currently has the lease on the apartment.

I've spoken with her a good bit over the past few days and she seems pretty cool, like a nice person in general, and we have a lot in common and seem to get along well.

I just really want this to go over smoothly, and her to be fine with it. It'd suck to have to find a new candidate.

I would have a discussion with her about transgendered people, maybe start with gay/lesbian issues and see what her stance it. I think females tend to be more open to this sort of thing. Anyway, start there. If you already have, I would ask her what she thinks about, say Chaz Bono. Then, go from there.  As long as she is not a total anti whatever and you don't affect her life directly in a negative way, she shouldn't have a problem with this unless she is a total douchebag, which you think she's not.

Instead of making a big deal about it.  I'd just mention it casually, like you were thinking of planting a garden the backyard. If she blanches or hesitates, she probably wasn't a good fit.

Just make sure you promise not to borrow her underwear! 

Quote from: JamesG on March 17, 2014, 08:07:52 AM
Instead of making a big deal about it.  I'd just mention it casually, like you were thinking of planting a garden the backyard. If she blanches or hesitates, she probably wasn't a good fit.

Just make sure you promise not to borrow her underwear! 

Yeah I was thinking of doing something like this:

" Hey, so I'm not sure if you already know or not (this bit is a lie lol), but I'm on hormone therapy transitioning from male to female, just telling you so you're not freaked out by any of my physical changes, lol."

What do you guys think?

I think that'll work.  Make sure you do it before you do any paperwork.

Just be sure that she understands your relationship as roommates is to be female-female and that you have no desire to have male-female sexual interactions with her.

What do you guys think of this draft?

"Hey I'm not sure if you've been told this or not yet, but I figure it'd be good to make sure. I'm in the process of transitioning from male to female. About 3 weeks on hormones so far. Is that going to be a problem for you?"

Quote from: ath on March 17, 2014, 01:02:20 PM
What do you guys think of this draft?

"Hey I'm not sure if you've been told this or not yet, but I figure it'd be good to make sure. I'm in the process of transitioning from male to female. About 3 weeks on hormones so far. Is that going to be a problem for you?"

seems reasonable

I wouldn't go into that much detail. She's likely to go, "Huh? Whut?"

Just tell her that you are transgender and that you will be switching to a woman's appearance over the next few months. Once that (shock) is over and she's curious you can go into the details.  Don't hem either with the "did you know?" (how could she?) Just be Frank... er.. you know what I mean. LOL.

Good luck!

Quote from: JamesG on March 17, 2014, 01:10:00 PMJust be Frank... er.. you know what I mean. LOL.

Good luck!

Lol you're funny.

What if I just say that I'm transgender and ask if she's ok with that? Short and simple

Quote from: ath on March 17, 2014, 01:45:16 PM
Lol you're funny.

What if I just say that I'm transgender and ask if she's ok with that? Short and simple

sounds good

Message sent, wish me luck lol. I'll keep you guys updated

Quote from: ath on March 17, 2014, 02:05:56 PM
Message sent, wish me luck lol. I'll keep you guys updated

good luck

If this doesn't work out I will probably rent out a lofted warehouse instead so I can use it as my music/business studio.

Quote from: ath on March 17, 2014, 02:11:22 PM
If this doesn't work out I will probably rent out a lofted warehouse instead so I can use it as my music/business studio.

always wanted a lofted warehouse

Ok, so, good news, she'll be moving in on April 3rd or 4th.

However she didn't respond to me telling her I'm trans, lol. I'm assuming she doesn't care though if she's still wanting to move in, and my best friend (who I'm out to) is vouching for her.

Quote from: ath on March 17, 2014, 04:47:17 PM
Ok, so, good news, she'll be moving in on April 3rd or 4th.

However she didn't respond to me telling her I'm trans, lol. I'm assuming she doesn't care though if she's still wanting to move in, and my best friend (who I'm out to) is vouching for her.

That's awesome. My best friend vouched for my current roommate... And, well. I probably handled the situation poorly. I just started transitioning without a word to my roommate about it. To be honest, he's not my friend, he's not my family, and he's no one I particularly care about, so I don't feel like I owe him any sort of explanation.

At first he didn't notice, but once changes in me and my wardrobe became apparent, well, that's when things started getting really awkward. Thankfully he's not overtly aggressive, but, he is really passive aggressive about it, and no longer even acknowledges my existence. Yesterday I had another transwoman over for dinner, and he was in the kitchen while I was cooking dinner, and you could cut the tension with a knife. I have no idea if my guest felt it, but I sure as hell did, and it made me feel uncomfortable to the point where I was tempted to just call off dinner and take my guest home. I didn't though, and he stormed off all pissy to his room without so much as an acknowledgement that there were two other people in the kitchen with him.

So. New housing is sort of the top of my list now...

But, with that said, good luck with your new roommie. Hopefully it goes awesome!

Quote from: Nora Flexion on March 17, 2014, 10:08:09 PM
Trust me, your guest noticed too! 

We just kinda walked in and queered the place up, it was too much for his phobic ass to handle I guess.  I'm glad we still did dinner.

I would say you don't owe him anything either.  He's obviously made his decision so no use agitating the issue.

To OP though, I would be a little worried that your new roomie didn't respond to you coming out.  Just be careful...

Ha! I'm glad his awkwardness didn't make you feel too put off    But, yeah, so long as all he does about it is run off pouting to his room like a little passive aggressive bitch, then, whatever. As my best friend told me when I mentioned this behavior to him "Dude isn't going to win any contests for 'normalicy' himself. So, just let him be."

But. Glad we did dinner too.

And, yes. OP. Have a contengency plan in place should things go south. I imagine you'd know pretty early on if that'll happen. But, maybe have a friend on alert who can let you couch camp for a night or so if you should feel unsafe and just need to get out.

Quote from: ath on March 17, 2014, 04:47:17 PM
Ok, so, good news, she'll be moving in on April 3rd or 4th.

However she didn't respond to me telling her I'm trans, lol. I'm assuming she doesn't care though if she's still wanting to move in, and my best friend (who I'm out to) is vouching for her.

She Mighta known. Sadly one of my friends told like 90% of her friends when she introduced me behind my back, Her logic was  "just incase they clocked you so they didnt freak out. I wanted to be sure they knew ahead of time"           I hope she didnt out you to your new roomie before you got the chance too. Either way im happy your rent situation is fixed.

Whew! I happy for you! But listen, ath... you didn't confess to her your even darker secret... your a... OMG... bass player