Another line I'm getting from all sorts of people who I'm out to is that I "seem happier now". It is true that I do feel generally a lot happier, and when I'm out & about as Grace especially so - that's when I really get those comments. Makes me wonder what a sad sack of poop I must have been like before??!

Thats really sweet to hear 

That is good to hear, Grace:)

My SO says she's never seen my teeth so much when I smile since I came out, and she's never seen me happier than when we're out together as girls.

I was famed for being a bit 'dark' in my previous life

Wonderful to hear Grace.  Your journey is an inspiration.

As my job became very stressful in October, my boss noticed I started smiling a lot more.  He thinks I have tipped over the edge.  It must just be a coincidence that I started HRT on 17 October!

Thanks ladies I guess that if nothing else it shows people have some level of interest/concern/measurement of my happiness that I wasn't even aware of!

I never have to wonder what a sad sack poop I was. My wife constantly beats me over the head to remind me when I slip into "Bro-Mode". I sure don't realize how it sneaks up on you but others must.

Grace, it is wonderful you are happy and so close to going full time.


I have had a lot of people say the same thing, that I look happy.

My boss says to stop smiling at him, funny. He also says why are you smiling at me and I just say I am happy.

Yeah... my mom actually told me "I think I like you better as a girl."

Pre-transition, I pretty much just shut everyone out. I was very much in a "nothing's wrong with me. Leave me alone" mindset where I just kind of sat around playing video games all day and not doing anything social, not even liking talking to people. Where now suddenly I'm actually talking to people again and enjoying life.

Quote from: Carrie Liz on March 16, 2014, 08:18:28 PM
Yeah... my mom actually told me "I think I like you better as a girl."

Hah my mom said the same thing (but as a boy) when I was going to court for my name change, or at least she said "you're much cuter as a boy."  (she'd be hesitant to say she liked me "better" in either state, but I know what she meant)

One of my best friends told me she and her gf had been noticing that I seemed a lot "warmer".  Odd as I don't think "warm" is a word that would often be used to describe me, but I imagine that its true.   

I really hope this happens to me. 

Happier now?   I didn't have a clue how miserable I was until I found out last year what happy actually is.  It was like a lifetime of something constantly gnawing at my brain and this itch I couldn't scratch.  When I started E, I finally found relief. 

My wife was floored when I suddenly became more social and outgoing.  I used to avoid social gatherings and could not deal with them without a significant amount of booze in me.  Now I really enjoy the company and the booze is optional.  Apparently I was this dark, sarcastic person with a dark cloud overhead that followed me everywhere.  I had a very short fuse, and any little annoyance could tip the scales to where it could wreck my entire day. 

Now it's puppies, rainbows, flowers and all things cute and happy.  I had no idea I naturally have such a sunny disposition!  My default mindset went from "kill sh%t" to "who wants a hug?"

All because my brain wasn't running on the right fuel.

My experience is similar to Jill's. I am amazed that I lived in that deep dark funk for so long and did not know what happiness really was.

Forgot to say that I'm happy that Grace has found her own happiness :-)

I'm going to jump in here, and say I am definitely happier. I actually wasn't miserable (as some people say), but I never did feel comfortable in my own skin. I never knew how feeling happy your own skin felt.
I definitely look better as a guy. And guys are looking at me now. Not sure what my orientation is, but I gather I come across as gay. I also didn't know I had a basically really happy and calm disposition.


--Jay

Quote from: Jill F on March 17, 2014, 01:39:06 PM
  My default mindset went from "kill sh%t" to "who wants a hug?"

That was me and with my skill set not good! I have found since starting transition and being full time my phone actually rings now. I thought it was broken for 40 years. The first time it rang it scared me to death. People actually call me now and do something called "talking". 

Quote from: Jill F on March 17, 2014, 01:39:06 PM
Happier now?   I didn't have a clue how miserable I was until I found out last year what happy actually is.  It was like a lifetime of something constantly gnawing at my brain and this itch I couldn't scratch.  When I started E, I finally found relief. 

My wife was floored when I suddenly became more social and outgoing.  I used to avoid social gatherings and could not deal with them without a significant amount of booze in me.  Now I really enjoy the company and the booze is optional.  Apparently I was this dark, sarcastic person with a dark cloud overhead that followed me everywhere.  I had a very short fuse, and any little annoyance could tip the scales to where it could wreck my entire day. 

Now it's puppies, rainbows, flowers and all things cute and happy.  I had no idea I naturally have such a sunny disposition!  My default mindset went from "kill sh%t" to "who wants a hug?"

All because my brain wasn't running on the right fuel.

I can only hope I experience that kind of change, improvement, whatever you want to call it, after I finally (after many, many, many, etc. delays) get to start HRT. I used to be quite sociable when I was a kid (like 6 or so years old), I'd talk to anyone, for any length of time about whatever was on my mind. Dealing with people now (and for the last 15-20 years) drains the life right out of me. As far as happiness goes, at this point I'm not sure if I've ever really experienced that particular emotion. I just know that I'd like to.

I just hope it goes well with your parents, good luck. I've followed some of your other posts.

It's very good to see some of us being happier, we all deserve to be happy.

That's absolutely wonderful to hear, Grace!

But hey, of course you weren't as happy, you weren't living as yr true self back then. It's only natural that now, being the girl you were always supposed to be, that you are reflecting yr true light to the rest of the world. Shine on, sister!

I have had a few people in the know mention how different I am now.
While I have worries about things like the elephant in the room I feel so much better and open up more easily.
My GP and Therapist have commented about the change being very noticeable. It even brought a smile to my GP to see the difference and she has to put up with some very bad people so it made her day.

While I don't see it I do feel a certain contentment now that I never had and very much more at ease with myself.

Now any ideas girls how we can wipe the smile of Graces face. Impossible as I suspected.

J

Yes the mood change has been so dramatic. Like Jill I was hopeless in social settings and would drink to hide, not very successful because people would notice that I was drunk.

One recent incident stands out, I went to a conference and had a great time, introduced myself to people, pushed myself forward and was happy and confident, people liked me and wanted to be in my company. At previous conferences I would attend what I had to and then go hide in my room and not mingle at all.

I also remember about 3-5 months FT when one morning I picked up my various medications, looked at my anti-depressants and realised I didn't need them and tossed them in the bin.

I am so happy to know my sisters are feeling good as well, and hope that those who are still struggling will find that joy soon.

As for Grace, ye to the smile! And Jenny, I want to see the silly grin on you soon honey!

Quote from: Ms Grace on March 15, 2014, 07:07:52 PM
Another line I'm getting from all sorts of people who I'm out to is that I "seem happier now". It is true that I do feel generally a lot happier, and when I'm out & about as Grace especially so - that's when I really get those comments. Makes me wonder what a sad sack of poop I must have been like before??!

Hi Grace,
People respond to even very subtle body language. Becoming yourself will change how you express yourself in facial expression, body posture and movement.
Smiling more is is one of the obvious signs of happiness especially for people who are not close  friends. For the people who know you well, subtle changes in facial expression can be a very strong signal at the sub-conciseness level.

I will bet that the difference people see could be described as your face "lights up" more. Your Avatar photo nearly glows.

Hugs
-Cindi

I like the old phrase "Smile - no one will know what you are really thinking"