Hello, my name might eventually become Chloe and I'm happy to introduce myself to this community today.

So here is my background and how I ended up writing this 1st post. I'm a 33 yo guy who come from a typical middle class family and lived a fairly "normal" life until now. I am now employed in the military and have been married for almost 5 years and have an awesome 2 yo son.

I think what brought me here today is a gradual acceptance of who I really am deep down thanks to being away from family, relatives and old friends that allowed me to get back in touch with my feminine side which was buried in middle/high school thanks to bullying and repressed until now thanks to substance+hobbies addiction/obsession. My transgender awareness is quite recent though and I think I can pinpoint it to the moment I found out about FFS which made me realize it was actually possible to become a women even though I was born a man. After that my mind got flooded by all those childhood memories where I wanted to do "girl" stuff(and actually did and dressed up once or twice) so....I started by deciding to try cross dressing which I would never have allowed myself to do in the past and I just loved it. Not only do I feel beautiful when I do it but I also feel so comfortable and at peace. I thought this might be enough to satisfy the lady in me but I couldn't stop gathering info about hrt, srs, etc. and the fact that I'm currently working with  a wonderful mtf who transitioned 10 years ago just keeps my mind racing.

So here I am, posting on this forum as part of my soul searching to make sure that whichever decisions I might end up making will be informed and without regrets. If it was only me... the answer would probably be easier to find but keeping in mind that I might lose my wife (although I love her for being accepting of my cross dressing) and I worry about how it could affect my son...it complicates things quite a bit. So here I am, lost in thoughts at the cross road where in one direction I dream of becoming the woman I always wanted to be but risk losing my current family and social security and on the other side... I forget all this "nonsense" and continue living my life although it feels like I'm just going through the motions as a man who never felt comfortable in this role.

Wow, this turned out to be quite a wall of text... Congratulations and thank you if you could read the whole thing... I guess I just had to write it out for myself as well. Anyway, I'm happy to join this community and I'll keep you  posted

Chloe

Hi Chloe! Just wanted to wish you a warm welcome Don't worry at all about lengthy posts, a lot of us specialize in those here so you'll fit right in

One thing I wanted to mention besides welcoming you is that what you decide (in your head) is ultimately what defines you as whatever gender you decide you are. Surgeries are indeed a great way to help reflect your true inner self to other people in an external way... but gender comes from the inside no matter what stage a person might be at regardless if they decide to come out / transition / or do nothing at all.

It sounds to me like you are asking the right questions, and I think you've found a great place to ask about them!

Welcome to the forums and see you around!

Hi Chloe, and welcome to Susans! We have people come to visit us from all over the world, expressing different points of view, and you are likely to find someone to help you along your way Here are some important links and things to ponder as you begin your journey here.

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  

Greetings and Salutations,


Welcome to Susan's

A big warm welcome to the family Chloe! Our stories are so very familiar so I know you can succeed in this. I don't know about your wife, but your son should do well. Kids are amazingly resilient and have no pre conceived notions or ideas yet. My 15 year old son was mad at first, but after being full time for a few months now actually slipped and called me "Mom" the other day. It made my day! Know you have a wonderful support family behind you now and after you get 15 postings feel free to PM me if I can be any help to you or answer anything you might want to know about. Here is a BIG HUG  to welcome you and make you feel right at home!

Welcome Chloe to the forum. Life can be hard and it sure gets harder when on has to deal with transition if that is the path you shall walk

Not sure why you think you could loose your SS. Lose of family and frinds is all so real but does not happen all the time. I for one was lucky and only lost a few friends but they where more my x wifes friends then mine.

Therapist that know the WPATH SOC can help you a lot. I suggest anyone starting out to seek out one. They are also needed if your path will lead you to HRT and GRS.

Lots of luck.
Isabell

Wow, thank you so much for the warm welcome Seeing your replies this morning really put a smile on my face, I really feel I came to the right place to find acceptance and valuable advices. Jessica, I'm glad to hear about your situation concerning kids and transition. I think you make a lot of sense and I'll keep that in mind Thank you Also, most of you suggest, and I agree that I should consult a therapist and I think it's going to happen sooner than later. You see, I am lucky enough that my current direct supervisor at work is a wonderful person who transitioned 10 years ago and she is now the only person who knows about my situation (except my wife). She's been answering a lot of questions from me which I really appreciate and she gave me the name of a good therapist. I just gotta pick up the phone and call at this point..... easier said than done ;p Well, thanks again and I'll keep in touch.

Hi Chloe Don't know if you saw the message I left you on my own intro, but I was so happy to see that there was someone else in a similar situation. I wish us both luck in figuring things out. I'll gladly be an ear you need to vent to as we go through this confusing time.

Yes Yasmin, I saw your message and just had the opportunity to reply on your thread, thank you I'm looking forward to sharing more with you on the forums.

Chloe

Welcome, Chloe  ...
Rsss in my language'm a person who writes very well, so do not worry about writing  ... because this is a space that we can feel welcomed  ...

You make great friends here...