Hi all.  I have an issue I am not too sure how to process, so I will spill it out.

From the first moment I could grow facial hair I did - this was an unknowing effort to cover up the GID I did not really recognise, other than that something was wrong.  This culminated in having a full beard for over forty years.  It got various comments over the years, some nice, others not so much.  Those didn't really matter because in truth I was hiding behind it.

Last week I shaved and went to a transgender conference as me.  This was a really massive step.  Since then I have gone and seen my therapist dressed - good.  I also have had all sorts of comments about the "new me."  Some of these were good and some not so.  The range:

Do you think spring has come early?  (from seasonal beard wearers)
Who is the new guy?
Holy S***!
That looks really good, now about the hair...
You look ten years younger
You look twenty years younger
You "pass"  (from my therapist, who was being really sweet)

And a persistent question of Why?

I am not too sure about an answer to the question, so I bury it in the idea that is a personal reason I do not care to disclose.

But, I come to the bottom line.  What I see in the mirror is my Dad with longer hair.  This is sort of freaking me out.  I can pin up my hair and put on a wig and that helps a bit - but I can only do that SO much.  The rest of the time the resemblence raps me up beside the head.

Are there any good coping mechanisms for dealing with this?  Or is a matter of time to get used to the "new me?"

This is a more disturbing point on my route than anything else so far.  Even more than admitting to myself who I am.

Good ideas?


Erin

I'm thinking you'll stop seeing him when you look at yourself in time. Most likely, you don't actually resemble your dad as much as you think you do. Insecurity can make you see all sorts of negative/upsetting things in your appearance that other people don't. And even if you do resemble your father, hormones will definitely go a long way towards changing that.

But really, I highly doubt you look like him. Especially if your therapist is already telling you that you pass.

Poor lass.  The mirror is not our friend to start with. 
I never could grow facial hair- I probably would have done the same.  I used to hate that I had my dads face shape- but not consciously know why.
Your dad is your ultimate male archetype-(good or bad) maybe you need to spend some time thinking about that- bring it up in therapy.   Your dad, like you, carried both the female and male aspects of your ancestors in your dna.  His male ones, like yours, are switched on by androgens.  Once you are on hrt, your male aspects will no longer be activated and your female aspects will shine through as you replace your cells.  But they are still aspects invisibly carried by your father (and mother of course)  from your ancestors.  So when you look at your face, remember it is not your father (male archetype)  you see but your human ancestry played out with androgens at work.  You have the face of countless survivors- male and female.  Soon hrt will bring out your female aspects- same dna, same face- different expression of it and thankfully more in tune with your female brain..

This is important to remember.  You are the result of an unbroken chain of men and women who survived into sexual maturity and managed to successfully mate.  If there had been any break in the chain you would not exist. 

The fact of your birth is proof that your DNA has survived since the beginning of life on this planet.

Quote from: Emmaline on April 03, 2014, 04:33:28 PM

You have the face of countless survivors- male and female. 

Soon hrt will bring out your female aspects- same dna, same face- different expression of it and thankfully more in tune with your female brain..