Quote from: GnomeKid on April 05, 2014, 03:57:44 PM
Tell your mom you're going to get ready at a friends house, and that you and a few people are just going as friends.  Buy a dress if you have to (sth super cheap) and then try to find some money for a tux (I don't know if you have your own source of money? or if you could scrounge some up some way before prom).  If this girl is understanding of your situation she may be on board with understanding that you come to her house in a dress and change.  Your mom may also understand that you might want to change into your dress later on, and let you wear your normal clothes and just bring the dress along with you.  Throw a suit in the same bag (doesn't really have to be a tux does it, though I guess it'd be nice), and just change into that instead.  If your mom asks for pictures or anything... well who cares its already over and you had your great night. 

I didn't go to prom.  Didn't want to though.  I went to a sick music festival instead =] me and my friend had the time of our lives, while our other friends had a not-so-great time at prom.  Literally we felt bad talking about the show because I'm pretty sure they got busted drinking or smoking or both.  Its not a decision I regret, but it sounds like one you might.

I don't even think I'm going to prom ecen though I really want to.

Quote from: Malachite on April 05, 2014, 03:48:28 PM
What about your Michael Jackson impersonation suit?

My mom would question and plus I wanna wear a white tux.

Quote from: Brandon on April 04, 2014, 11:00:54 PM
Prom is coming up and everyone is talking about it in school and some are even doing promposals, and I mean at first I didn't care to go but every since people have been posting prom 2k14 pics and being told to ask the same girl I've been talking to, to prom its making me want to go but I can't because my mom won't let me wear a tux and she doesn't know I like girls, So I'm screwed, I like getting formal and stuff and the worst part about it is I know this girl would go to prom with me, It just sucks that I have to miss out on every damn thing my mom doesn't even think I'm interested in going to prom. Anyways this is just a rant I guess

This is incredibly ironic for me because my mother is the exact same way and we were just in a fight over it this morning. Last year I went in a dress and rechanged clothes on the way there. This year however I've already had my outfit tailored and today I'm looking for the gloves and gift I'm going to give my girl.

I know it seems horrible but I suppose the best way is to lie into going. That's what I did and when I went I didn't even think of my mother afterwards.

I went to my junior prom in a dress, but it was kind of a joke. It was neon pink and had duct tape on it.

At that time we were fighting so "girls" could wear pants and gay folks could come with dates.

My senior year I stayed home and watched tank girl.

Whatever you decide, good luck

Quote from: KnifeEar on April 06, 2014, 10:15:57 AM
This is incredibly ironic for me because my mother is the exact same way and we were just in a fight over it this morning. Last year I went in a dress and rechanged clothes on the way there. This year however I've already had my outfit tailored and today I'm looking for the gloves and gift I'm going to give my girl.

I know it seems horrible but I suppose the best way is to lie into going. That's what I did and when I went I didn't even think of my mother afterwards.

I'm not gonna put on a dress at all, I'd still be fustrated because I can't be me so I'm just not gonna go.

Quote from: Brandon on April 06, 2014, 12:21:25 PM


I'm not gonna put on a dress at all, I'd still be fustrated because I can't be me so I'm just not gonna go.

You want to go, don't you? Look at it in the grand scheme of things. You've got another seventy years on your clock. You can make a big deal out of it and not go to something you want to go to just because x (otherwise known as cutting off the nose to spite the face), or you can make do with the solutions given and go and probably have fun. You'll regret the things you didn't do more than what you did do.

Quote from: Frank on April 06, 2014, 04:37:25 PM
You want to go, don't you? Look at it in the grand scheme of things. You've got another seventy years on your clock. You can make a big deal out of it and not go to something you want to go to just because x (otherwise known as cutting off the nose to spite the face), or you can make do with the solutions given and go and probably have fun. You'll regret the things you didn't do more than what you did do.

Well for one your not my mom so if I don't wanna go in a dress or go with any other suggedtions you gave me I shouldn't have to, Why when its still gonna make me mad, I don't like lying at all I just wanna be as normal as possible. Not lie to get my way.

You don't like it when we say "just don't go", you don't like when we say "go in a dress", you don't like it when we say "go in male clothing". What would you like us to suggest? We can't teleport to your mother and magic her into seeing sense, we can only provide suggestions.

(Sorry, posted twice and can't delete from my phone)

Quote from: lxndr on April 06, 2014, 06:00:28 PM
You don't like it when we say "just don't go", you don't like when we say "go in a dress", you don't like it when we say "go in male clothing". What would you like us to suggest? We can't teleport to your mother and magic her into seeing sense, we can only provide suggestions.

No you just don't get it at all.

Explain it then for the people that think you get a kick out of shooting down any idea you ever get from us.

Quote from: Alexthecat on April 06, 2014, 06:20:18 PM
Explain it then for the people that think you get a kick out of shooting down any idea you ever get from us.

I specifically said it was a rant, I'm not gonna sneak around and try to get a tux. You don't know my mom, If you got away with it fine but you forgot I'm black its alot harder on me to get acceptance from my mother she doesn't play that dude, She's strict, The only thing I wish is for her to accept me as her son, but since she's not gone do it, I see I have to miss out on everything.....

Quote from: Brandon on April 06, 2014, 06:36:59 PM

I specifically said it was a rant, I'm not gonna sneak around and try to get a tux. You don't know my mom, If you got away with it fine but you forgot I'm black its alot harder on me to get acceptance from my mother she doesn't play that dude, She's strict, The only thing I wish is for her to accept me as her son, but since she's not gone do it, I see I have to miss out on everything.....

Quote from: Brandon on April 06, 2014, 06:15:44 PM

No you just don't get it at all.

I think we get it.  It sucks to have to do this kind of thing at all.  It sucks to have to be sneaky to be ourselves for a while.  It sucks to have to even think about dealing with our parents on these kinds of issues, and it sucks that we have to in the first place.  Does it make anyone feel good to have to do things like move clothes from the boys section to the girls section in hopes their mom will buy it?  No, of course not.  .....Which mentally takes one down the road of all the other reasons it sucks to be trans...

The thing is other than the listed solutions there really aren't any.  You can mope around about that.  As a teenager thats kind of your prerogative, but in the end one of those things will happen.  Its up to you to choose the one that will make you the least miserable, and the one you will least regret down the road.  I think we all know which one that is.  You can only minimize regret so much in life.  I try to take every chance I get not to. 

(also, if you're mom is super strict and knows you're ftm wouldn't she be at least pleased you're a straight boy? just curious)

Rants let out dome frustration to help others understand how to help themselves or are a call to help for themselves. You are the best person to help yourself. Some people cant accept everything given to them. It just doesn't happen that way. You can accept the option given to you. You can weigh them for the rest of your life. It is ultimately up to you what you do. We are simply here to try and help and support whatever way we can. But for the last, what does black have to do with it? If you lived where I do it is completely accepted and you would be more dominating over the whites. Trust me I get beat for being white, pagan, and gay. Acceptance is based on people. Not on race.

Quote from: KnifeEar on April 06, 2014, 06:46:04 PM
Rants let out dome frustration to help others understand how to help themselves or are a call to help for themselves. You are the best person to help yourself. Some people cant accept everything given to them. It just doesn't happen that way. You can accept the option given to you. You can weigh them for the rest of your life. It is ultimately up to you what you do. We are simply here to try and help and support whatever way we can. But for the last, what does black have to do with it? If you lived where I do it is completely accepted and you would be more dominating over the whites. Trust me I get beat for being white, pagan, and gay. Acceptance is based on people. Not on race.

Black people are harder on lgbt, out of all the trans kids and gay kids I see on youtube who have accepting parents are mostly white, Its harder being black and in the lgbt. Your not black so you wouldn't know trust me on that, There are studies even shown about that.

Quote from: GnomeKid on April 06, 2014, 06:44:36 PM


I think we get it.  It sucks to have to do this kind of thing at all.  It sucks to have to be sneaky to be ourselves for a while.  It sucks to have to even think about dealing with our parents on these kinds of issues, and it sucks that we have to in the first place.  Does it make anyone feel good to have to do things like move clothes from the boys section to the girls section in hopes their mom will buy it?  No, of course not.  .....Which mentally takes one down the road of all the other reasons it sucks to be trans...

The thing is other than the listed solutions there really aren't any.  You can mope around about that.  As a teenager thats kind of your prerogative, but in the end one of those things will happen.  Its up to you to choose the one that will make you the least miserable, and the one you will least regret down the road.  I think we all know which one that is.  You can only minimize regret so much in life.  I try to take every chance I get not to. 

(also, if you're mom is super strict and knows you're ftm wouldn't she be at least pleased you're a straight boy? just curious)

No because she doesn't think I'm a boy she thinks I'm confused and will never see me as a boy! And yea I don't like sneaking around and having to switch clothes reminds me of everything else thats wrong in my life like having no support, and not being normal because I'm not I'm abnomal.