I tried Carly, Haprer and Melody but none of those name fit me it felt like i was trying to be somone. I picked Patience because it seemed to be the name that fit me the most. I also thought of my parents what would they want and all my sisters had virtue names. So patience felt authentic. I saw the Catwomen movie with Halle Barry in it and ever since i was little i've always loved catwomen and other girl figures. Halle's character name was Patience and i really related to the movie and it helped change my life.
Especially this quote:
"The day I died was the day I started to live. In my old life, I longed for someone to see what was special in me. You did, and for that, youll always be in my heart. But what I really needed was for me to see it. And now I do. Youre a good man, Tom. But you live in a world that has no place for someone like me. You see, sometimes Im good. Oh, Im very good. But sometimes Im bad. But only as bad as I wanna be. Freedom is power. To live a life untamed and unafraid is the gift that Ive been given, and so my journey begins." "
In the movie she dies as insecure girl but is given a second chance and reborn as catwomen.
I found it power seeing how i was going through the same thing.
I couldn't see myself living a lie and continuing the road i was on. It would've been depressing and my future would've been none existent. Life is all about change and i needed that change. That's why i physically/Mentally needed to die from being the old scared, depressed, insecure and lifeless boy and being reborn as the confident, full of life girl/ young woman i meant to be now.