I am pre-everything physical, but I'm mostly socially transitioned and pass about 95% of the time. Some days, that 5% can totally wreck my mood, and other days, it's hardly an annoyance; it still feels weird, but I can shrug it off. I'm not really sure what causes the difference as I'm a very even tempered person, but sometimes my lack of a reaction almost makes me doubt my dysphoria... Does this fluctuation happen to anyone else?

Yes it does happen to me too

Quote from: Polo on April 06, 2014, 10:05:13 PM
I am pre-everything physical, but I'm mostly socially transitioned and pass about 95% of the time. Some days, that 5% can totally wreck my mood, and other days, it's hardly an annoyance; it still feels weird, but I can shrug it off. I'm not really sure what causes the difference as I'm a very even tempered person, but sometimes my lack of a reaction almost makes me doubt my dysphoria... Does this fluctuation happen to anyone else?

I hate being clocked. Feels like someone pulled my pants down. I don't know I'll ever be used to it.

It doesn't happen much except on windy days when I've been going out with a hat and my regular hair instead of a wig, and I look weird enough to attract looks and enough scrutiny for someone to read me.

I wonder if yours is a phase. That at some point I'll progress to the where I sometimes don't mind being clocked, and then we'll both get to the place where a lot of the long time members here have reached, where it doesn't bother us at all.

Yup, I found the exact same thing: dysphoria fluctuates. Some days it's hardly there at all; other days it's overwhelming.

A lot of it depends on what's going on in my life. Most days are perfectly fine now that my medical transition is moving along nicely, but there are some days when I think my voice sounds a bit too high, or I get clocked, or my family says something nasty. That can set me off & ruin my whole mood. Those triggers are also cumulative: if more than one trigger happens over a short period, I'm more likely to feel dysphoric.

I have really really good days.....and then there are the days when I catch my reflection in the conference room glass as I pass on the way to the bathroom (when the shades are down it reflects BAD)....if the bathroom is crowded then it just piles on. So yeah, I can understand the "piling on" effect.


(edited for spelling)