Congratulations on your progress, Joan

Voice is definitely a big one. When you get it right it is probably the best feeling ever!

Quote from: Jennygirl on March 24, 2014, 04:50:04 AM
Congratulations on your progress, Joan

Voice is definitely a big one. When you get it right it is probably the best feeling ever!

Thank you! You may well be right on that one

Coming out 5% →15%

Or something like that

Over the last two weekends I've come out to two friends, both of whom I've known for 20 years, both female, and both of whom said 'it doesn't really seem strange'. 

The second was last night, and I was there as Joan when she arrived.  This probably wasn't very fair of me, but after a few minutes it was almost like things had never been any different.  My SO and these two friends and I sat and talked over a four hour dinner in a restaurant, followed by two hours of karoake and I had so much fun. They accept me as another woman and I feel so happy at that.

And I'm feeling ever more comfortable with myself with each of these little milestones

I am post-op and had my SRS done after 3 years of hrt..

Self-acceptance 100%
I think I fully accepted myself early on and I proud to be female.

Coming out 80%
I am out to all the people that need to know and this one will sadly never be 100%. At first my parents did not accept it, but after my father passed away without accepting his daugther, my mother came around. She now loves spending time with her daugther and we love during mother and daughter things together.

Hair removal 100%
All the hair on my face and chest was removed.. I keep my arms shaved along with my pits, legs and pubic regions.


Voice training 100%
I practiced hard to make my female voice sound right.

Socialisation as female 100%
I am one of the girls, and everyone I know accepts me as one.. I am very girly and love shopping, makeup, shoes etc. My roommate says she cant believe how much of a girl I am. Going for a day of pampering with girls is a favourite pastime for me. Even just painting my nails with my roomate is special girl time.

Hormone changes 100%
I am very happy with the changes hormones have given me.. I have soft feminine looking skin, Lovely D cup breasts. My body style is typical of the woman in my family. We all have curvy hips and bigger backside and my with my hips I have being told I rock a pair of jeans. My figure is very noticable when I wear a dress. When I reconciled with my mother, she could not believe how similar my body was to hers.

Hair 100%
When I started HRT I grew my hair out.. I took about 2 years to reach halfway down my back. I have since cut it and now keep my hair around shoulder length. I am a burnette, but like a tinge of red in my hair which is dyned in.. I playing with the idea of going blonde this summer.. they say blondes have all the fun.


Wardrobe replacement 100%
I only wear girls clothes, I have a large collection of clothes. I love wearing dresses or skirts and have a lot of them. Shoes.. I have at least 50 pairs of shoes, mostly heels.. I love shopping and me and my roommate can shop for hours..


Future employment prospects 100%
My roommate and I own a business together, so a job is a done deal..

Terrible. I've always tried to live full time as a normal woman. I'm passable, feel normal dressed, nice voice, etc........ However I guess I just thought that one day surely my facial hair/beard would just stop growing. It has not & what a mess!!!!

I had 6-7 electrolysis treatments, it helped some but it just hurt so bad I hated that needle. I spent more time talking with the lady tham having her zap my hair. Now I'm stuck again. If not for facial hair I could live normal so easy.

How can I ever get rid of this hair? I know go back, it takes a long time, be patient, .......damn.

I plan to have a face lift & neck lift soon. I'm in mid 50's & my face is OK but it needs a lift. This will help my apppearance however I'll never be normal with a stupid ugly beard.

So anyway I rate mine as terrible. I could just cry.

Appointment Saturday morning with my electrolysis lady to let her zap away more. There are no majic pills so each hair has to go!

While these numbers are a bit low, do not mistake that for dispair. Things are improving every single day. Ask in a week, my numbers would be higher. In a month, higher still. In a year? Watch out.

Self acceptance 66%

I did not think self acceptance would be such a hurdle. In many ways it is harder than coming out. As I peal the layers of masculinity away I discover new ones. I really was transphobic I guess, since I tortured myself for 37 years.

Coming Out 50%

I am out to those closest to me and many old as well as new friends. Others do not yet know. At this point it has more to do with wishing to tell people personally rather than having them find out through the grapevine. The news is starting to go viral though.

Hair Removal 0%

I am on a budget. If you can start early, do start early.

Voice Training 20%

Not working too hard on this. I keep telling myself I will.

Socialization as Female 66%

Women in particular have taken me under their collective wings. I am expected to be Tori outside the home like it or not. I like it.

Hormone Changes 30-50%

I do not really know at this point. I have bouncy boobs. Vivid emotions. Soft skin... etc. A long way to go still and I have no idea how far that will prove to be.

Hair 50%

I need a hat or a wig for now at least. May get surgery eventually. There is a surprising amount of regrowth, but will it be enough? That remains to be seen.

Wardrobe Replacement 33%

Lots of work. Lots of money. Lots of fun.

Future Employment Prospects

I need a job. I will get one. No idea how to give that a percentage.

I came out to another friend, and the first guy I've come out to.  He's a good guy, liberal and open-minded, and he was really cool about it, although it seemed pretty obvious that he couldn't understand the idea at all.  He wasn't judgemental or nasty in any way, it was just completely off his radar.  Anyway, I deem that another 5% up

I also actually initiated conversation with a shop assistant while I was out last weekend, so I must be gaining some confidence in my voice too.  +5%??

My SO is going to Australia for 10 months from Sunday, so we're about to find out just how strong I can be through this transition.

Well, here goes...

Self Acceptance: 70 %
I've accepted that I'm trans and that I need to do something about it, but I still feel myself hitting the brakes ever so often and doubting myself intensely. I often stop myself from doing things I want. It's been better this year though, by far.

Coming Out: 50 %
All of my close friends and family know, and some of my extended family and coworkers know as well. It's not something I bring up a whole lot, and it seems most people haven't even suspected anything going on. Especially so since I still present as male (as painful as it is) and can't pass.

Voice Training: 40 %
I've been practicing a little here and there for the last six months or so. I can hit the high notes, and sustain them somewhat, but I fail at resonance. Some people think my voice is alright - others cringe, myself included. I don't use it all that much yet because of that...

Socialization as Female: 5 %
Not full or even part-time yet, so there's little socialization to speak of...

Hair Removal: 2 %
I've been to a combined total of 2 hours of electrolysis, which is basically nothing so far. I also tried laser for 6 months - no results, probably because of my light hair follicles. I plan to get into elecro again as soon as I get more money.

Hormone Changes: 20 - 40 %???
Hard to say, and honestly I'm a little underwhelmed by the results so far. 8 months in, and my face is unchanged from before (and it was and continues to be quite masculine), but my mood has greatly improved and there's been some breast growth and softer skin.

Hair: 50 %
My hair is long, but still somewhat masculine. I like the length, but not the style.

Wardrobe Replacement: 25 %
Still afraid to go shopping where I want, so it goes slowly. Also, scarsely have the economy for it. But it is fun, when I finally have days with a little courage and money.

Future Employment Prospects: 40 %
As a girl that is. I do fine work where I am right now though, and I have no reason or need to look for anything else at the moment.

So yeah, still have a looong way to go...

Quote from: LittleEmily24 on March 17, 2014, 01:11:16 PM
Reading this actually got me kinda teary eyed... I know exactly how you feel.. every time my friends call me Emily, I smile, but then they instantly destroy it by calling me Him or He... and some friends even remind me that "they'll never see me as female, i'll always be a guy to them." and it destroys me. I even have a friend who wont go into a gay bar, not because hes a homophobe, he has nothing against gays... but he doesn't want to run into other transpeople... and he fails to see how that effects how I feel. Half support is not support.

Uh,-Yea, these people aren't your friends. I'd let them know that and stop hanging out with them. There are alot of much better people out there who'll respect you for who you are. They are disrespecting you and if I were you I'd find new friends. I know it's easier said than done girl, but you've gotta put yourself first. I myself found out who my real friends were when I came out to them 5 years ago. I lost everyone I knew but two people and their families. Since then 3 of my former friends eventually came around but I still keep them at arms length. But, now I have many friends and neighbors who do respect me and always gender me correctly. And quite frankly, if that's you in your Avatar anyone misgendering you would look like an idiot doing so, lol! I think your very pretty, and if I turn out just half as good as you have I'll be very happy.

OK here goes girls. I'm a little nervous about this:

Self Acceptance: 65% I'll need my SRS/GRS, Female Voice Surgery, and a face/necklift and possibly FFS depending on 2 year hrt outcome to fully accept myself. Inside I'm all woman and have been most of my life. Some of these things I'm worried about I may not need after 2 years on hrt. However, until that wretched discusting abhorrid, abomination between my legs is turned into an "innie" I'll never feel completely female.

Coming Out: 100%. Everyone who matters to me knows and are supportive. In fact due to my body shape alot of them suspected so it wasn't a shock to  most people I know.

Voice Training: 5%. My throat was damaged in my 1991 aircraft accident and it's near impossible for me to make a female voice without going falsetto. I'll most likely need surgery to overcome this hurdle unless by some small miracle hrt helps it along a bit.

Socialization as Female: 100%. I seem to be accepted as female despite the voice wherever I go, which I think alot of that has to do with my tiny size and female body shape. Others tell me different but I just think their being polite.

Hair Removal: 70%. I'm still fighting the grays on my face. They have been the absolute hardest to get rid of so far. Hrt has pretty much eliminated all of what little body hair I had with the exception of very fine hairs on my legs and arms. Been shaving my legs for now as I only have to do it once per week to keep my legs smooth. As soon as I get more bulbs for my IPL they might just disappear as well. I use my lasers on my face as my IPL is too large for my small face. I may end up going professional for the grays on my face, or, buy myself and electrolysis device and myself with a friends help will go to town, lol!

Hormone Changes: 65%. I was lucky here because I've always had a feminine body shape which my hrt is enhancing nicely. My boobs are really coming in and are nice and feminine in shape. Something I never thought I'd achieve because of my being 49.

Hair: 65% and increasing daily! Here's where my hrt to me anyway has performed a miracle. I had a feminine hair loss issue before starting hrt, which abruptly halted and began reversing 3 days in. Now you cannot see my scalp in those areas unless it's wet, and the new growth, and my overall hair growth in general has been phenominal. It was past the middle of my back, but I had a trim last Tuesday to rid myself of dead ends so now it's at the middle of my back in length. It has really thickened too. I no longer cry myself to sleep at night over losing my hair, and I can hardly wait to see my hair after a year of hrt much less two, lol! This has made me a very very happy girl!

Wardrobe Replacement: 100%. I threw out what little men;s clothes I had over 5 years ago when I went full time. Women's clothes have always fit me better anyway.
.
Future Employment Prospects: 100%. Being disabled I only work part time. I'm over qualified in marine/boat/outboard motor repair, computers and networking, database construction and web building. Right now I'm enjoying working with Outboard Motors big and small. Since I work for myself I make my own hours when I'm physically able.

Because I'm only 3 months, one week, and a few days in on my hrt I plan to wait at least a year before considering any cosmetic facial surgery with the exception of the voice, and face/neck lift. The turkey isn't there yet but I can see I'm losing elasticity in that area. My eyebrows are (to me anyway) too close to my eyes and they are very thin which makes shaping them from underneath nearly impossible. As for my SRS/GRS it is on my Doctor/s timetable/s and according to them it will be 1 & 1/2, to two years from now.

Before closing I feel it necessary to say that many of my friends believe I'm being way too overcritical of my facial flaws and am worried about a whole lot of nothing. However as I said above, I think they're just trying to be polite.

Ally

Hi Allyda

There's no need to be nervous! For me this is a place where I try to keep track of the progress it's so easy to forget that I'm making.  It's a long process changing genders

Quote from: Joan on April 11, 2014, 09:12:31 PM
Hi Allyda

There's no need to be nervous! For me this is a place where I try to keep track of the progress it's so easy to forget that I'm making.  It's a long process changing genders

Thanks Joan I appreciate it. One of these days I'll learn to follow my own advice I give to other girls that we are our own worse critics. It just takes time I suppose. Also as I found out in the last few days the changes for the better hrt is giving us is not always noticed by us, but people who haven't seen us in a few months seem to notice those changes immediately. Three people I know well including my pain management Doctor didn't quite recognize me with so much hair, lol! Another good example of this is I posted a few photos of me in my boat fishing on Lake Okeechobee while on vacation on a boating/fishing forum I belong to where people know me but haven't seen me in a while. Well, I was asked: "Is that your girlfriend in the boat?" I've always had long hair but not as much of it as I do now plus I was wearing a cute pink tank top that, well, was a little revealing when it comes to my boobs, lol! And I actually got a few phone calls asking me that question. But I look at those same photos and do not see what their seeing. I wonder if that's part of the dysphoria?

Considering I believe I will be transitioning until I die (many many years from now) the only way I know how to rate how far I have progressed is by saying I have completed 3 days!

I didn't consider my transition 'official' until I had my first therapy session.

I am sure eventually I will have other ways of measuring. But for now a day count works fine for me. Eventually my days transitioning will outnumber my days per transition. That will be a very happy day!

Self-acceptance 100%
Self explanatory I think. I accepted it as soon as I realized what was holding me back. I left my depression lasting fifteen years behind. Never going back.

Coming out 90%
Only one who does not know is my father and judging by my mom and brother's reactions, will likely not know until full changes happen (probably).

Hair removal 10%
I'm being generous with that. The mustache is gone finally. The beardlyness has not been touched yet.

Voice training 0%
Goodness, I keep trying to find a recorder that isn't a box of clart.

Socialization as female ??
This is a thing? I think I may have missed something or am not understanding. Mannerisms? Sure, my friends often see me as fem acting even as a tomboy. I honestly don't pay much attention to this detail much I think. I'm just myself.

Hormone changes 0%
Not on the hormones yet. Maybe/probably come May, that's when I talk to the endo again.

Hair 80%
I have a long, blank, curly canvas at the moment.

Wardrobe replacement 30%
Clothes are expensive and muscle makes it a little harder to shop for. Makeup and polishes are really fun. I'm not out to my father, which presents a problem as well.

Future employment prospects 100%
I'm out at my current job. Future employment involves healthcare, which has seems to be friendly at the place I was looking at.

I think I have some pondering to do. And some catching up hahaha

17 days have passed since my last post and here's the latest progress report.

My SO got on a plane and it was absolutely heartbreaking.  I know she's coming back, but 10 months is 10 months and I still cried for a week and some.  I'm slowly getting used to it, but life is sure quiet, and very, very lonely.

I have managed to get out some!  I came out to another girl friend, and after 5 minutes we were all talking as girls.  Fantastic feeling!

Also came out to an old friend I've known for 30 years.  He was shocked, but he seems ok with it.  At least after all the 'Do you need to go that far with it?', 'Are you really sure?' questions.  I think he'll come around.

So Coming out now at 49% or some other such meaningless figure.  It's family next, and this still has me scared witless.

Nearly four months on hormones now and I'm getting comments about facial changes, and my breasts are taking on a natural shape.

who know where this part ends

Finally, I ventured out for the first time on my own yesterday. This was very very nerve wracking, and I was too nervous to even come close to passing.  After a while I managed to take some deep breaths, relax a bit and enjoy my shopping trip and walk around town.  I visited a friend on the way home and we had dinner and talked and laughed, and it ended up being a really good day.

So add 5% to my socialisation or some other random figure.

Self-acceptance 99%
Almost completely there. I still have this tiny lingering doubt that maybe I could have found some way to work things out as a really androgynous male... but then again, why would I want to if I didn't have to?

Coming out 100%
All the people who I am really concerned about know that I am transgender now.

Hair removal 5%
Just started laser for the face, but that's pretty much it. And I have enough hair to deal with that this will be a long and painful process...

Voice training 50%
I sound okay most of the time, but things can get pretty shaky when I've been talking too long an my voice is strained. It's also a problem to keep my pitch consistent if I'm in a noisy environment and can't hear myself talk very well. I really want to get VFS, but for now I sound good enough that it's not a huge priority.

Socialization as female 5%
I haven't had nearly enough opportunities to socialize in general, so not much progress here. I seriously don't even know if I would ever be able to fit in with a group of women my own age. I'm actually a pretty shy person in real life, so this area might be a challenge...

Hormone changes 25%
This is more of a best guess. I actually have no idea how far along I really am. I was taking low dose HRT for a long time (over two years), so wasn't sure if I should expect to get many more changes than I already have without resorting to surgery. But my breasts have been feeling a little tender since I started full dose HRT earlier this month, so who knows? I'm going to chose to be optimistic on this one because I still have a lot of room for improvement.

Hair 50%
My hair has grown out pretty nicely, but I still haven't gotten it styled properly since I'm on a very tight budget and I've wanted to use the money for other things. I also want to get a hair transplants some time in the future to help fill in my temples. They're not horrible, and I have had some really good regrowth from using minoxidil, but I still want as close to a normal female hairline as possible.

Wardrobe replacement 5%
I have a few girly things to wear, but it's mostly just stuff I borrow from my brother. Which is okay since his clothes are not exactly super masculine.

Future employment prospects 0%
I need a job pretty badly right now... Would anyone here like to hire a web developer with experience in HTML/Javascript/CSS/Ruby?

Self Acceptance: 95%
As an undergrad I learned that reality exists within the 95% confidence interval. After six years of psychotherapy, I know who I am and I am finally feeling like me, in spite of the ugly fact that I still navigate the world as a male.

Coming Out: 5%
My wife is in the loop, other than her and a few trans* folk, only the health care professionals know. I do drop hints though

Hair Removal: 30%
Years of waxing my legs have left them pretty much hairless, I just do light touch ups every few months. I also wax my pits, chest and abdomen, much less these days (thank you Suprefact). I will need some electrolysis there, but not much. My "beard" has depleted somewhat, but I still shave. I will need to undergo electrolysis there too. Pass the Emla, svp.

Voice Training: 0%
I'm thinking Yeson...

Socialization as a Female: 5%
Whenever I sit at tea with my wife and some female friends, I catch myself feeling like "one of the girls". Hard to carry that off as I present as male in public.

Hormone Changes: 40%
At six months HRT, my body hair has decreased and gotten much finer, I'm about an A cup, "dood! those are definitely not moobs!" I have lost some muscle mass, my arms are thinner, there has been some fat redistribution, my skin is much softer, my eyes have opened a bit. So... more eyeballs, less nether balls. I am able to emote more freely, and the long dark cloud that used to hang over me has dissipated. I laugh more. I love more.

Hair 43%
Why 43%, it's such an odd number! Well it fits then, don't it...
I am treating my MPB with minoxidil, it's early days. I'm going to give this a year before I say yea or nay, but I am seeing some peach fuzz manifesting in the blank zones, so I'm hopeful.

Wardrobe Replacement: 5%
Undies only. Still not really out to the world at large (not even Westeros), so all I do is look at what the other girls are wearing and make plans. Unfortunately, I think I'm too old for the "Forever 21" stuff, Lululemon is completely out of the picture

Future Employment Prospects: 100%
Gainfully employed at the same place for 25 years, looking forward to retirement. Downside to being 60: wrinkles... upside? Being able to afford wrinkle cream.

I would have to say that much of my progress, all of the above, happened in the last year or so and it has been liberating. Here's to slipping the surly bonds of testosterone (apologies to J.G. Magee).

Quote from: KatelynRain on March 17, 2014, 03:07:46 PM
I agree with Joanna.  These are NOT your friends.  There are people out there that will love you for who you, are instead of who they want you to be.  True friends are 100% accepting and supportive of you.  They empower you to help you to do things that you couldn't do by yourself.  Sounds like these people are holding you back, and they are not worthy of being called a 'friend'. 

You need to cut them off and you will eventually find people who are 100% supportive of you.

Perfectly said .

Well, it's been 19 days since my earlier post and there have been a few changes.

Voice Training: This has improved because it seems without my knowing it my voice has gotten a little higher in pitch to where I now sound sort of in between male and female with my voice being a little scratchy. Don't ask me how this has happened because I've no idea, so this one jumps from 5% to 15%

Hair Removal: Here, what little grays that are left on my face have become much finer. I don't know if this is because they still have darker roots and my laser's are having some effect without my using the carbon dye, or if it's from hrt. Either way I'll take the improvement. In addition, I no longer have to deal with protruding nose hairs -these have vanished. So this one jumps to 80%.

Hormone Changes: A big improvement here as my waist has gotten smaller. I'm now at 26. My boobs are noticeably larger and I'm no longer able to venture out without a bra, YaY! In addition, I'm now in a size 8 woman's narrow shoe down from a size 9. And finally my face has began to fill in so a big change here from 65% to 75% and still going strong.

Hair: My length has grown nearly 3 inches since my last trim, and I'm still experiencing a lot of new growth in my problem areas. It's now past the middle of my back at it's longest, and my bangs are nioticeably thicker. Y'all will soon see a photo girls! So up from 65% to 70%.

Self Acceptance: My voice surgery will be getting done soon hopefully at Yetson, however I'm still undecided. I do have my letter from  my Endo and also my letter to have my gender changed on my Driver's license and other documents (I don't have to change my name cause it can be either boy or girl), however, I'm entertaining the idea of switching my first name, Phoenix, with my middle, Allyda to make Allyda my first name. Due to these developments my self acceptance has jumped from 65% to 75%. For it to be 100% though SRS is an absolute must. For I can never accept myself as a whole woman without it.

These are big improvements though in just 19 days, and milestones in my development I'm very proud of. All of the rest on my list; Coming Out, Socialization as Female, Wardrobe Replacement, and Future Employment Prospects, have remained the same at 100%.

Overall for me things just keep getting better and I feel I'm progressing nicely. Now if I could just get one friend of mine to stop calling me "brother", lol! Even his son says he sounds ridiculous when he does it given how I look.

Ally

This is an interesting thread.  Honestly, I don't have a way of measuring it.  All I can say is that the further into my transition I get into it, the farther I feel from obtaining my goal.  I don't know why, but I feel like I'm reaching for something that may forever be out of my reach.  Perhaps some of it is.  It's odd to consider every sense of progress to be a regression, but that's what I'm feeling.  I guess it just all seems so surreal to think it will be over and that I find another goal to reach as I move along.  That my expectations seem to be building as I move along and it makes me harder to just get through it all.