I don't think it's brave. If there was a way I could "chicken out" and find a way to be happy as female, I'd have done it. I'd love to be cis. I don't even care if I'm a cis male or cis female. But I'm not. I reached critical mass where living as female simply wasn't an option anymore, unless I wanted my mental health to worsen beyond where it was already at.

Ah. Thanks for the explanation.

Heh. That's what some of my conversations sound like. Someone will say that something I done is brave or strong and I get all awkward and point out that it just needed to be done.

Quote from: Polo on April 12, 2014, 03:37:51 PM
"Courage: the moral or mental strength to persevere and withstand difficulty, fear, or hardship." - Miriam Webster's dictionary

Courage is doing something even though you're afraid to do it or afraid of the repercussions, so I'd say that applies to most of us here, particularly during the discovery/coming out phase.

I agree with Edge in that people tend to normalize whatever hardships they're going through, plus for many of us it doesn't feel like a choice... Still requires courage though.

That's a good point actually, perhaps I dislike the idea of being called brave for doing what I need to do to keep my sanity (which I do, because I think there are people more deserving of that title, such as my manager who's an ex-army officer for example), because it implies that I had some say in the matter, i.e. it's a choice.

Looking at the definitions I think that courage is required to come out/not be stealth in most situations, but bravery is only required in more non-accepting environments, although I think most people have that fear of the worst in their heads.  Or maybe it's just me.

On the one hand - it's something I had to do in order to continue living.  It was literally life or death, so brave doesn't really fit into that equation for me in regards to that.

But I can see why others think of it as brave - and in some ways, I suppose that it is.  It takes courage to make the first steps - and it's a long, hard and often painful road - not for the weak.  It takes courage to come out of the closet, to go through the physical challenge of surgery, the financial burden...so yes, it's not easy.

I had a similar reaction from my husband when I came out to him. He said that he was proud of me for being so brave.

I don't really feel brave at all though. I didn't decide to start transitioning because I had finally worked up the courage to, I did it because I'd reached a point where not transitioning was more painful, and in that sense it kind of feels more like I took the easy way out.

I did what I had to do to keep from going nuts or killing myself.  I was almost there.  People have told me that I'm the most courageous person they know, but all I did was follow the path of least resistance.  It was easier for me in the end to transition than not to.  Being a fake guy was much harder than being genuine, and I am rewarded every day just by being me.

I've recently had the same response a couple of times and it sort of took  me by surprise. In a way it annoyed me since it almost implied that we actually choose to go through with it when we don't have to, which is clearly not true, at least for most of us.

My life overall is pretty good... I don't feel anything massive is missing other than that basic sense of self, being me, which has never been there because I am in this body. So I suppose for them it means that I am willing to sacrifice a lot for the sake of being myself- which I guess is a fair point. Having said that, I think for people in general, it must be quite difficult to fully comprehend just how profound and serious it is to have the need to feel physically the way you have always felt in your mind. That means they cannot actually understand that for us it is not necessarily bravery to do it because the pain, frustration and humiliation we have endured is, in many cases, far more challenging to live with than going through this process, as painful as it may be. At least then there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't actually, but I have been called that and I guess, since it is a compliment, I'm happy to accept it.

--Jay

I think I'm brave...but that's only because I ran into a burning house once to save some kittens that were trapped inside using only a wet blanket, a hoodie, oven mits, and a baseball bat to get through.



...yeah, that never happened.

I think that coming out can take a lot of courage to do, but I don't see it as brave. I guess for certain people in certain situations it is brave, or that being trans can be an act of bravery.

i haven't come out to anybody yet so i don't know how i would feel if they called me brave for coming out. probably i'll be happy and consider myself brave as well, because i could have rather concealed it without having to deal with the very difficult and awkward conversation of coming out and facing its aftereffects.
but i've always complemented myself as brave, because i chose to live on and face the challenges my life has offered me, over ending my life despite the number of times i really wanted to end it all and start anew.

I'm not brave. Jumping into a burning building to save a baby is brave. There is nothing brave about transitioning to me. It's just a part of my life, like wearing glasses.

Well I think some of guys should just accept the compliment, I mean coming from a black guy who comes from a conservitive family it would be considered brave, coming out in highschool would be considered brave, I have been told numerous times that I have more balls and that I'm more of a man than half if these guys out here because they probaly would have killed thereselves if they were in my shoes, I mean come lets not act like being trans is easy, So what were transitioning for our own good there are still risks and it still takes a strong person to endure the dysphoria especially without acceptance. So quit being so prideful.

Quote from: Brandon on April 13, 2014, 07:27:11 AM
Well I think some of guys should just accept the compliment, I mean coming from a black guy who comes from a conservitive family it would be considered brave, coming out in highschool would be considered brave, I have been told numerous times that I have more balls and that I'm more of a man than half if these guys out here because they probaly would have killed thereselves if they were in my shoes, I mean come lets not act like being trans is easy, So what were transitioning for our own good there are still risks and it still takes a strong person to endure the dysphoria especially without acceptance. So quit being so prideful.

I don't think anyone is being proud. Some of us just don't think transition = bravery. If you do that's fine. People consider different bravery in very different terms. Everyone is just giving their own opinion on the subject, since the OP asked for everyone's thoughts.

Quote from: Nygeel on April 13, 2014, 12:52:09 AM
I think I'm brave...but that's only because I ran into a burning house once to save some kittens that were trapped inside using only a wet blanket, a hoodie, oven mits, and a baseball bat to get through.



...yeah, that never happened.

Wow, you had me going there Nygeel. LOL

--Jay

I know for most people, it feels like there is absolutely no choice and transitioning is a necessity, but what about for people like me? I can't say I'm unhappy in general; I'm not suicidal over my dysphoria. I even think I -could- live an enjoyable, easy, and maybe even happy life in my female body. But just not nearly -as- happy or "right" as I would be if I came out and transitioned. There would always feel like something is missing, like something is off, and I don't want that. I want to live the -very- best and truest life I can. Does that make me brave though or just a perfectionist?! Haha!

No, but seriously, I do consider myself brave because I could deny this reality, try to forget it, and take the easy way out. Which is actually what I did originally. I first realized I was trans about five years ago, but I was too scared of the repercussions and the hardships that I decided to push it away to the very back of my mind and not do anything about it. Recently it has come back to haunt me yet again, and I realized I don't want to deny it anymore. I am going to do something about it. I am going to take major steps to secure my own ideal happiness instead of settling for an easier version. And I finally have the bravery to do just that!

Well, to a certain extent. I now have the bravery to accept myself and to come out to my friends. Coming out to my family, getting into therapy, et cetera...I'm still summoning the courage for all that~

Nygeel had me going to

And onto a tangent

QuoteFull Definition of BRAVERY

1
:  the quality or state of being brave :  courage
2
a :  fine clothes
b :  showy display
See bravery defined for English-language learners »
See bravery defined for kids »

Bravery = fine clothes?? What the heck. Ok, I am definitely not brave


... we now return you to your original programming

'Cause who doesn't like a story that involves saving kittens?

Quote from: christopher on April 13, 2014, 11:20:47 PM

Bravery = fine clothes?? What the heck. Ok, I am definitely not brave

I'm gonna be the bravest mofo ever after I get my surgery. XD

Yes. There are so many people who cannot stand on their own and be themselves. They would rather live the lie that everyone has told them. Transitioning is brave because we are traversing genders and bucking the  instilled training that if you are born M or F then there is no escape. For which, in some places, means that they have chosen to die as themselves instead of living a lie.  Perspective is everything.