Quote from: Cindy on March 24, 2014, 02:04:53 AM
I never cross dress now, I threw all my male clothes out.

Hear Hear! Though I did donate mine instead of tossing them. If they were going to be trashed I think a ritual would be appropriate.

Quote from: Veronica M on March 30, 2014, 01:41:35 AM
I did and do have to admit though I have always enjoyed the feel of panties. Especially silky sexy ones.

I suppose my possible (neurological) sensory processing disorder (tactile defensiveness) may be an issue in that department...
I have trouble touching about 60% of fabrics (I get that chalk on chalkboard squeak/ ice tray in a freezer - brain exploding pain/ discomfort when I touch a lot of fabrics... Especially the fuzzyish ceiling of a car. If see someone else in the car even get 1/4" from touching it my brain practically melts.

If I self diagnosed correctly there is a treatment therapy for it! If not, then I hope it is somehow related to my GD... Maybe E will relieve that anxiety, or maybe the skin changes and touch sensitivity changes will lessen the reactiveness of those fabrics. Actually... Now I kind of hope that it is GD related... Then I won't need to go to operational therapy too!

Glad the thread has been of use to people other than me (:

I have the same issue with gender aligned clothes... it heightened my dysphoria because it exaggerated any male features.  I am aching to switch over, but know that HRT has to do its thing first before I can be comfortable seeing myself in female attire.
I am using the time to peacefully glide over- switching out items for neutral- learning about female clothes, the language of fashion, the tricks and tips for makeup and hair.
I have skirts I wear around the house to get used to moving in them- sitting, working at the desk.  I love them- but I don't look at my reflection.

I've tried crossdressing a few times and actually I do it since I had 7-8 years old, but later in life I felt worse when I did it because I was just a boy wearing female clothes.

Even on the first months of HRT I tried a few times and...no, that wasn't working...the only thing I did was buy more gender neutral clothing and I started wearing feminine underwear everyday. That felt right and made me feel good with myself.

After I bought a wig I decided to try again and I got surprised when I looked at the mirror. I could see a woman staring at me from the other side. A few days after I went out for the first time as myself, wearing feminine clothing, and the sensation was wonderful.

Some nights I lock the door of my room and I stay as myself. I put the wig on and some normal womens clothing and I feel good. It feels right to be that way! I don't feel like I am crossdressing, I am just being myself and starting to wear clothes that match my gender!

I feel each day more the need to start going out as myself, but I am extremely fearfull of that...

Quote from: Natalia on April 03, 2014, 07:50:20 AM
I feel each day more the need to start going out as myself, but I am extremely fearfull of that...

Yes. Step by step. Good luck and enjoy yourself.

barbie~~

Now that I have officially started transition by seeing a therapist for the first time, and I have an appointment scheduled with a hormone specialist/PCP on Tuesday, I actually went and ordered some female clothes!
At first I was going to do the self checkout at target... But apparently my town doesn't have that. Then I decided to pick up in store... But all but one item weren't available.
So instead I ordered online and the stuff should be here within the week!

I am worried that wearing this stuff early will trigger my dysphoria (despite my urges to wear it) but I figure at least I will be able to wear everything once I do get a few months into hrt so it won't be a complete waste.

Quote from: Jill F on March 17, 2014, 04:32:40 PM
Some people have to wait until they approach male fail before they feel comfortable wearing women's clothes because they can make you self conscious about not comfortably meeting society's expectations of a woman.

^ This.  Personally, I wouldn't go out the way I am right now.  I feel as though I'm sort of in no-man's land when I wear women's clothing - it sorta fits but not quite, if you get what I mean.  And there's that body dysmormphism that kicks in as a result.

Quote from: xponentialshift on April 12, 2014, 07:35:50 PM
I am worried that wearing this stuff early will trigger my dysphoria (despite my urges to wear it) but I figure at least I will be able to wear everything once I do get a few months into hrt so it won't be a complete waste.

It's not a bad idea anyway just to get used to handling yourself in said clothing.

I am flabbergasted, that so many of you think that wearing women's clothes would be cross dressing, it's like Most of you don't realize that being transgender is all about, so long you are a woman heart and would then you CAN NOT cross dress by wearing women's clothes, in fact, I think you cross dress by wearing male clothes, it isn't about making your body comfortable, it's about making your mind comfortable, I am with the girls who say make clothes to me were always like barb wire, awful. Dressing up should be, for many, a way to realize how wonderful they feel, how much more connected they are to their true self then. Not a matter of what others will think, fear . Should never be in a transgender woman's repertoir !!

Heart and soul I meant!! Gosh darn with the autocorrect!!

Quote from: calicarly on April 13, 2014, 05:32:19 AM
I am flabbergasted, that so many of you think that wearing women's clothes would be cross dressing, it's like Most of you don't realize that being transgender is all about, so long you are a woman heart and would then you CAN NOT cross dress by wearing women's clothes, in fact, I think you cross dress by wearing male clothes, it isn't about making your body comfortable, it's about making your mind comfortable, I am with the girls who say make clothes to me were always like barb wire, awful. Dressing up should be, for many, a way to realize how wonderful they feel, how much more connected they are to their true self then. Not a matter of what others will think, fear . Should never be in a transgender woman's repertoir !!

The rational part of mind agrees with you. And it isn't fear of others' reactions that keeps me from wearing women's clothes. It is the fact that it increases my dysphoria because they don't match my body as it currently looks.

Actually "cross dressing" as formally male gives me even worse dysphoria than dressing female ever did. That is why I dress exclusively androgynous.

So yeah, I use the term cross dress for anything that doesn't match... So dressing female doesn't match body and dressing male doesn't match body... Both are cross dressing for me.

Now that I'm thinking on the topic... I remember the few times I was required to dress in a formal male dress shirt and tie and pants and shoes for semester presentations and things... I would feel terrible the entire time and as soon as possible I'd run the 2 blocks to my apartment, throw off the clothes and pray to the porcelain god for about 30 minutes.

The few times I wore female clothes it wasn't anything near that bad... I just felt a little hollow like something was missing...

I suppose for the psychological and practical benefit of wearing female clothes pre hrt it is worth the tiny amount of discomfort....

Not sure why I never thought to compare cross dressing male to cross dressing female before...

I am also hoping that having properly sized female clothes will help... When I tried them last I was 5' and weighted 58 lbs... And I was trying to wear a 36b or c bra with a top and pants that are too big for me now at 5'9 and 125lbs... Perhaps that is why I felt empty...

[Edited for autocorrect typos]

Quote from: calicarly on April 13, 2014, 05:32:19 AM
I am flabbergasted... Not a matter of what others will think, fear . Should never be in a transgender woman's repertoir !!

Ideally, yes.  But in reality, and while in mid-transition, its not that simple.  Also, some don't want or can't completely assume female identity, externally or internally.

Quote from: JamesG on April 13, 2014, 03:50:37 PM
Ideally, yes.  But in reality, and while in mid-transition, its not that simple.  Also, some don't want or can't completely assume female identity, externally or internally.

I've gone through it too sweetie, in the real world too, not in fantasy land. If you don't want or can't assume female identity then you are not a transgender woman but rather intersex, and that, is a different issue.

She just said how what I said made her think of how much worse it is to wear male clothes. I am just trying to let her know that things not looking 100% right while her body hasn't changed doesn't make her a cross dresser for wearing the gender appropriate clothes, it simply makes her a perfectionist, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, particularly when she has such a pretty facial bone structure.. Cause as soon as HRT starts doing its thing she will be a beautiful girl, all I'm saying is there's no need to deny yourself of the pleasures of pretty things and learning what female things suit her just because she isn't far ahead in transition yet.

I don't advocate for people to transition now if they don't want to. Everyone should take their time. But we gotta remember not everything is because of gender dysphoria, it may just be she is a perfectionist . But there's nothing with questioning where our opinions stand on things once in a while James, after all that, is why you and I are in this site. Just don't say you're a transgender woman , until you have made up your mind properly. I hope I'm not coming across wrong . But you can't say I'm not male, I'm not female, but I'm not intersex either but I am a transgender woman. Being a transgender woman makes you a female. Period. However I respect you a lot for taking your time in questioning where you are.

Carli,

It's not crossdressing for me per se.  There's the part of me that is a perfectionist that won't allow me to present as female until there's that certain level of passability.  There are also the logistics to consider - if I was happy to declare myself bankrupt, make my kids destitute, sure, why not, jump feet first into transition.  The thing is, I _can_ manage as I am for the time being, I've done enough to keep things at bay for now, and I'm gender fluid enough to manage on either side of the divide so to speak (Whether it's living or not is another story).  Someday, I might say stuff it all, I'm transitioning, but for now, I'm running and keeping on running, but I'm content. =)

I can see hints of who I might become when I look in the mirror on some days, but I made an oath to myself to meet certain obligations.  I've been hurt very badly before from people failing to make good on their promises and obligations, and I refuse to do the same.  If I could meet them and transition, perhaps I would reconsider, but as it stands, no.

Quote from: luna nyan on April 14, 2014, 06:17:00 AM
Carli,

It's not crossdressing for me per se.  There's the part of me that is a perfectionist that won't allow me to present as female until there's that certain level of passability.  There are also the logistics to consider - if I was happy to declare myself bankrupt, make my kids destitute, sure, why not, jump feet first into transition.  The thing is, I _can_ manage as I am for the time being, I've done enough to keep things at bay for now, and I'm gender fluid enough to manage on either side of the divide so to speak (Whether it's living or not is another story).  Someday, I might say stuff it all, I'm transitioning, but for now, I'm running and keeping on running, but I'm content. =)

I can see hints of who I might become when I look in the mirror on some days, but I made an oath to myself to meet certain obligations.  I've been hurt very badly before from people failing to make good on their promises and obligations, and I refuse to do the same.  If I could meet them and transition, perhaps I would reconsider, but as it stands, no.

Well, you make a lot of sense, and I think in your situation, that responsibility does matter a lot, hopefully, one day you'll have managed to get both done so everyone is happy including you  ...

Well I ordered some female clothes the other day because I started to get the urge to dress female (despite dreading the thought of triggering any sort of dysphoria) they arrived this afternoon and I am trying them now. So far no bad reaction! In fact it feels slightly better than androgynous clothes!

I even got the sizes right on my first try! Just need to find some sort of bottom piece. Right now  I just have my universal hemp jeans.

Now I just have to wait until I can actually tuck...sadly I don't fit while in an enlarged state so to speak.

By the way thank you Carly for the comment of my facial structure. I honestly can't see things like that in faces (prosopagnosia) so it really helps when people point stuff out. Good or bad.

I noticed many peeps in the trans section seem to use the term crossdress as a description of putting girl clothes on a male body, and vice versa.

I feel there is a term I am missing here... to be destinct from crossdress and d.r.a.g (dressed as a girl). 
Obviously I wear mens clothes to avoid confrontation - I am not 'cross dressing' as it is not me expressing a male side of my identity (I don't have one- I have a make character I play with its associated costume).  Wearing female clothes is expressing my correct gender- it's not cross dressing, and not drag (the 'AS a girl' bit being incorrect- I AM a girl).

I am at the stage of knowing I am about to start hrt, watching all the girls clothes in the shops and streets and yearning.  I know its going to be like a guitar string going into tune... nasty till you get it aligned.  Once the body is aligned my dressing will feel right.

Quote from: Emmaline on April 23, 2014, 09:30:28 AM
I know its going to be like a guitar string going into tune... nasty till you get it aligned.  Once the body is aligned my dressing will feel right.

I think this is probably th closest to as perfect a description as I've heard.  We're (at least, I am) a girl inside, so wearing anything female-oriented, helps fit a piece of the puzzle into the big picture.  Once the other pieces (HRT, nails, hair, style, poise, mannerisms, SRS(or not)) are also in place, then it will look like a real picture.  But each piece being placed, helps me see what the complete pic, may be.  I know there are those that collect all the pieces, and place them at once.. I'm just not that way.

(possibly trigger here -->   skip to next msg!)






And tho I have decided to stop where I am, for the sake of my family, if I resume my journey, I will go back to wearing, something.. that will feel like me inside, obvious, or not..

Quote from: calicarly on April 13, 2014, 05:32:19 AM
I am flabbergasted, that so many of you think that wearing women's clothes would be cross dressing, it's like Most of you don't realize that being transgender is all about, so long you are a woman heart and would then you CAN NOT cross dress by wearing women's clothes, in fact, I think you cross dress by wearing male clothes, it isn't about making your body comfortable, it's about making your mind comfortable, I am with the girls who say make clothes to me were always like barb wire, awful. Dressing up should be, for many, a way to realize how wonderful they feel, how much more connected they are to their true self then. Not a matter of what others will think, fear . Should never be in a transgender woman's repertoir !!

Thats nice, but twenty years ago before I even had an idea I was ts, it was CDing. I can't retroactively reclassify my actions in the past. That was of course a manifestation of being ts, but it was clearly CD, and clearly didn't "pass" nor was I trying to, since i didnt even know I was ts then.