Quote from: Mermaid on April 17, 2014, 07:04:04 PM
Uhm... I don't want to sound like a bitch but your pictures are clearly edited. I don't know much about photoshop but it's obvious that you airbrush your skin and slap on lighting/bloom effects that veil facial features and make everything look smoother/softer. I understand wanting to conceal your flaws and receive positive feedback, but posts stating others are jealous of you and that it makes you feel better than being called beautiful is a little... Well, what the others said. I really hope that I am not offending you but it's probably worth noting that HRT isn't magic... It's not photoshop. Ultimately I think you are creating a lot of unhealthy expectations and I frankly don't blame you, but... Yeah. Feet on the ground is better I think =/

Yeah this is the really truthful nitty gritty (I squirmed a little reading this) [chic you are still ok in my book] ... Unfortunately I've noticed this with the photoshopping around these parts and agree with this observation.

I have been lurking on that thread a good number of times, not for judging but to see how people look like. Simple curiosity. I never read the comments. That said, I'm not going to post any picture of myself there. I don't ask for validation but saying I don't care about passing would be a lie. I post a selfie when I make an 'extraordinary' claim (because it requires extraordinary evidence).

Sonia

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on April 17, 2014, 07:25:26 PM
Because we lived so long without the benefit of acceptance for one and it was a lot harder for us to come out. The other thing is we had much more to lose with families, careers and other things single young people don't. It takes a while to dispose of all of those things.

That's what I couldn't put my finger on. Although I can't believe there are so little transgirls over 20 that were never married. Is there a reason for that? Is that due to marrying out of, love, obligation, loneliness, masculine overcompensation? A combination? It depends on the person, I suppose.

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 17, 2014, 07:27:08 PM
Yeah this is the really truthful nitty gritty (I squirmed a little reading this) [chic you are still ok in my book] ... Unfortunately I've noticed this with the photoshopping around these parts and agree with this observation.

As I said in my last post, the 'airbrushing' is done with makeup apps and therefore will be similar to makeup in real life. I see people walking around in real life with makeup that is pretty much the same as the makeup I apply in the app.

It isn't done in an effort to make me physically look better so much as to make the wig blend in with the picture and therefore make it realistic.

In fact, I doubt anyone who hadn't already had the picture airbrushed and put a filter over everything could possibly make the result of a makeup app look realistic. When I transition, there are sure to be tons of makeup-less pics. I don't care whether the ones now are edited or not, the results are achievable through makeup, and I need that extra encouragement now. When I start seeing results on hormones, that's when I'll slow down the makeup + filter selfies. But as of now, extraordinary results through the app are helpful for soothing the wound of dysphoria that's ever-present right now.

Quote from: Chic on April 17, 2014, 07:13:48 PM
The same effects I achieve with adding makeup to my pictures are the same I'll achieve by applying makeup in real life. I know I'm not going to look like I do in the pictures when I wake up, but I've seen people walk around the streets look the same as I do in the pictures and they're not airbrushing themselves except with makeup. HRT will surely clear up the rough spots of not being able to pass as female without makeup right now.

I understand that my expectations should be lower, but it's all I can do to distract myself from dysphoria as I have to wait to transition.

I wouldn't say that other people have said they're jealous of me if they really hadn't. These are actual posts on Susan's that I can quote. Would I be lying if I said they didn't flatter me? Yes. Am I particularly happy about fellow transgirls being jealous of me? No. It sucks that I'm being built up this way sometimes, and it also sucks that I see a lack of confidence in other people. I'm no model, not yet, if I even am one when I transition. I'm no role model until I transition. Nobody wants to hear advice from a pre-everything transgender. I don't feel better than anyone else.

Okay girly =) sorry if I seemed harsh, just wanted to make sure you were staying realistic. Best of luck with your modeling dream, I've dabbled in the industry before dysphoria brought me crashing down, it's alluring but a bit too glamorised. It's definitely not for people who have or had any problems with insecurity, can be painful. That said, hope to see you tell us of how your dream goes =D

Quote from: Chic on April 17, 2014, 07:19:33 PM
I know this now and I have the utmost sympathy for you...the time you grew up in was horrible. I can't imagine how it must have been. I am a bit confused, correct me if mistaken, how you were somehow oblivious on how to obtain hormones over the last 20 years, if it was societal backlash that first prevented you from it in the first place. I don't know the exact situation.

That's the thing though. If it seems that I'm trying to make my problems seem worse than anyone else's, that isn't it. Every Transgirl has problems. It's not fair to compare problems in this way, especially when the impact is subjective and dependent on how the person in question views it. Your whole life has prevented you from transitioning, and my whole life as well, despite the fact we're at different ages. So while the lifetimes are of different length, they're still lifetimes, and my perspective may not be the same as yours because I'm transitioning at a luckier time and therefore won't live as long as you have without transitioning. I am lucky in the sense that I can do this while I am in my teen years.

well to answer your question I had no idea about the way to do it except by hanging out with the prostitutes and buying through them. there was no internet 20 years ago. No information. What you have now is totally different than just 15 years ago'. It wasn't that long ago that homosexuality was listed in the medical books as a mental disease.

Quote from: Mermaid on April 17, 2014, 07:32:20 PM
Okay girly =) sorry if I seemed harsh, just wanted to make sure you were staying realistic. Best of luck with your modeling dream, I've dabbled in the industry before dysphoria brought me crashing down, it's alluring but a bit too glamorised. It's definitely not for people who have or had any problems with insecurity, can be painful. That said, hope to see you tell us of how your dream goes =D

You weren't harsh, I needed that kick in the pants. I've been a huge bitch lately in my presentation of opinion, I really need to stop this. It's teenage angst and I'm at the height of my hormonal haywire age, haha.

You definitely look like a model in your avatar. I'm sorry the modeling career wasn't what you thought in the end =/

Quote from: stephaniec on April 17, 2014, 07:37:22 PM
well to answer your question I had no idea about the way to do it except by hanging out with the prostitutes and buying through them. there was no internet 20 years ago. No information. What you have now is totally different than just 15 years ago'. It wasn't that long ago that homosexuality was listed in the medical books as a mental disease.

What you're saying is totally right and I agree with you. I was just wondering. I'm glad you're able to be who you are now, at least you achieved that dream. Many people never even get to transition.

Quote from: Chic on April 17, 2014, 07:30:05 PM
As I said in my last post, the 'airbrushing' is done with makeup apps and therefore will be similar to makeup in real life. I see people walking around in real life with makeup that is pretty much the same as the makeup I apply in the app.

It isn't done in an effort to make me physically look better so much as to make the wig blend in with the picture and therefore make it realistic.

In fact, I doubt anyone who hadn't already had the picture airbrushed and put a filter over everything could possibly make the result of a makeup app look realistic. When I transition, there are sure to be tons of makeup-less pics. I don't care whether the ones now are edited or not, the results are achievable through makeup, and I need that extra encouragement now. When I start seeing results on hormones, that's when I'll slow down the makeup + filter selfies. But as of now, extraordinary results through the app are helpful for soothing the wound of dysphoria that's ever-present right now.

I know exactly what app your are using. It's called ...

http://www.taaz.com

But I read you, what you are saying. It is however a little disingenuous to use beautifying tricks to misrepresent what HRT may or may not do for you.

Quote from: Chic on April 17, 2014, 07:37:57 PM
You weren't harsh, I needed that kick in the pants. I've been a huge bitch lately in my presentation of opinion, I really need to stop this. It's teenage angst and I'm at the height of my hormonal haywire age, haha.

You definitely look like a model in your avatar. I'm sorry the modeling career wasn't what you thought in the end =/

That's not me in the avatar, that is Stav Strashko. =)

As far as the modeling thing goes, I intend on going back but I don't want to do male stuff. Supposedly androgyny "doesn't sell" and caters to a niche market that's not really viable, at least not in this country. I'm not a 1.87m blonde bombshell like Andrej Pejic either, so... Well, hopefully as a woman it will work out. Not counting on it but aaspiration make you alive .

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 17, 2014, 07:40:23 PM
I know exactly what app your are using. It's called ...

http://www.taaz.com

But I read you what you are saying. It is however a little disingenuous to use beautifying tricks to misrepresent what HRT may or may not do for you.

Actually, that isn't the app. It's called ModiFace.

I'm not using beautifying tricks to represent what HRT will do for me, I'm using beautifying tricks to represent what makeup will do for me, which is entirely realistic. I have no idea what HRT will do for me, there's no way I can predict that. It would be impossible to make those changes in an app.

Quote from: Mermaid on April 17, 2014, 07:40:55 PM
That's not me in the avatar, that is Stav Strashko. =)

Ohh. What do you look like, then?

Older transitioners took so long, for the same reason why we definitely need to keep the "Before and After" thread.

Before the internet existed in its current state, the only information you ever got about trans people was from the mainstream media's overly-biased perspective, which basically painted all trans women as nothing more than being men who got surgery on their bodies to superficially resemble women. I believed this lie until I stumbled upon this very site's "Before and After" topic, and transition videos on Youtube.

Even as a kid in the late 90s and early-2000s, when information was readily available on SRS and the existence of trans people, they were still stigmatized as being freaks, having their transitions made to appear superficial and fake, and they never got a chance to speak for themselves and show the transition process for what it really is. The resources that we have now are truly amazing. Had they been available to all of us when we were teenagers, I guarantee you, a lot of us would have transitioned a LOT younger.

Quote from: Chic on April 17, 2014, 07:43:14 PM
Actually, that isn't the app. It's called ModiFace.

I'm not using beautifying tricks to represent what HRT will do for me, I'm using beautifying tricks to represent what makeup will do for me, which is entirely realistic. I have no idea what HRT will do for me, there's no way I can predict that. It would be impossible to make those changes in an app.

I see, but it's similar. I stand corrected.

To play devils advocate, you have no idea what HRT will do for you, but you are sure you'll become a model quality T-Girl?

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 17, 2014, 07:45:49 PM
I see, but it's similar. I stand corrected.

To play devils advocate, you have no idea what HRT will do for you, but you are sure you'll become a model quality T-Girl?

With my feminine facial structure and baby face, plus the makeup I use in the app and a wig, I already look female there. Surely that will look better and more realistic in real life. Add in HRT, which surely can't make me look less feminine, and I'm confident that I'll be at least passable.

I already do have pictures from a photoshoot I've done in boymode if you want to see them. All angles of my face have been proclaimed as feminine from the most critical of people I've talked to, ones who had told others what their flaws were and only told me that my eyebrows were a flaw.

Not trying to brag here at all. I seriously don't know how to say this modestly. It's not like I'm the luckiest Transgirl genetically. Some can pass just as they are, without hormones. Andrej Pejic isn't even trans and he still looks beautiful as a girl.

chic, I think I've seen a few, but no need.

I really do wish you luck in all you do. Happy transitioning. 

Quote from: Chic on April 17, 2014, 07:43:35 PM
Ohh. What do you look like, then?

I'm pre-HRT, getting it prescribed on Tuesday if things are okay with my bloodwork. No makeup on the pictures, eyebrows are natural and left alone.

http://oi60.tinypic.com/qspaj9.jpg
http://oi57.tinypic.com/2uswmyb.jpg
http://oi59.tinypic.com/xgidjn.jpg - lost the original to this one a while ago, I cropped it because I didn't want to seem like I had short hair (but I did, lol)...

Pictures were taken with the camera on my face because basically, I haven't got much light in the bathroom to take mirror pictures, so I have to use my room that has an alright lamp. Unflattering, I know.

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 17, 2014, 07:53:33 PM
chic, I think I've seen a few, but no need.

I really do wish you luck in all you do. Happy transitioning. 

Thank you!

I feel horrible now, I derailed the topic and caused a bit of a mini discussion. Blah. Like I said, I'm at a hormonal peak and you can't expect me to be at my best and most modest right now. How many teenagers are logical at this point in time? Haha

Quote from: Mermaid on April 17, 2014, 08:00:37 PM
I'm pre-HRT, getting it prescribed on Tuesday if things are okay with my bloodwork. No makeup on the pictures, eyebrows are natural and left alone.

http://oi60.tinypic.com/qspaj9.jpg
http://oi57.tinypic.com/2uswmyb.jpg
http://oi59.tinypic.com/xgidjn.jpg - lost the original to this one a while ago, I cropped it because I didn't want to seem like I had short hair (but I did, lol)...

Pictures were taken with the camera on my face because basically, I haven't got much light in the bathroom to take mirror pictures, so I have to use my room that has an alright lamp. Unflattering, I know.

You're gorgeous! You're seriously gonna look so good as a female when you start presenting. You have all the right features for it. (:

Quote from: Chic on April 17, 2014, 08:02:14 PM
You're gorgeous! You're seriously gonna look so good as a female when you start presenting. You have all the right features for it. (:

Thanks girly! I took a look around for your unedited pics and I've to say that your baby cheeks are going to be a boon when on HRT, mine are kinda sunken =P