Being confident has nothing to do with outward cockiness or arrogance.

It is actually about you - being in your moment of living, wherever you are - and letting your audience watch you passively as you would watch an actor on TV. Having your emotions and your body language on display with complete passivity to those who may be observing you. You can smile and laugh openly as you pet a puppy or you can show sadness and empathy for a crying child, but you do so in a way that lets people feel your emotions with you as they observe you, and not at you. By doing so, they are visitors to your space and not you visiting theirs. Your emotions and body language are literally naked before them like an actor in his (on) mode. Your audience knows they cannot intimidate you. You are living through you and not them.

That is confidence.

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 20, 2014, 02:18:07 AM
Your audience knows they cannot intimidate you.

Definitely this!

I got mine through my career. For 28 years I had to be the coolest and calmest in the room or on scenes. When I started transition that confidence flowed over into me being the real me and not worrying about the publics perception. I am oblivious to anyone looking or pointing and it drives them nuts because they cant get to you. 

Yes. You are the observed. Not the observer (yet you know you are being observed).

A lot of mastery of your peripheral vision is in order, and being mindful that your body language doesn't react to any signals around you (unless you specifically want to react to something of interest, or threat, etc.) This way you develop an air of absolute contentment. And not a fidgety human being with knee jerk reactions to everyone around you. That would show YOU are the observer instead and people will feel it, that you are paying attention to them, giving them subconscious 'power' over you.

Another example is if you are the hetero guy - ignoring and being passive to the beautiful gal seated across from you on the train. It annoys the hell out of her. It lets her know she doesn't intimidate you. You are - a challenge. Let her notice you first. Let her notice that you notice her noticing you. Then you can start moving into an attraction state by acknowledging her.

This is confidence.

I am pretty comfortable in my own skin, and that is reflected by the way I am treated and accepted as a woman in the real world.  You, Miss Evelyn are over the top awesome.  Thank You!
j

Very well put Evelyn

Atta Girl Evelyn, that is my exact modus operandi in my daily life and how I encourage everyone to be. Very well spoken by the way!

^^ It's like the guy who is happily in a relationship. His body language doesn't give off signals that he's looking for someone. He's cool, calm, collected, serene in his own thought (being in love). He's exhibiting a reserve of 'confidence' and women notice this. And this piques her interest. They notice he isn't - HUNGRY - like every other guy around her looking around, fidgeting, trying to act cute or macho (or creepy). This is what you want to emulate. This is the state of being 'alpha'.

As far as myself and my own attraction state towards women as I change into andro-fem, I can't say I have experience with that yet. I'm actually enjoying my new found evisceration of my libido from HRT - lol. No seriously, I'm really in a renewed discover-myself state. I'm like my own lab experiment being the subject and the cis world my social medium. Testing if the changes I'm working on is really right for me. If yes, then confidence projects from there. So I haven't been active in pursuing women as of late. But when I do, the same music applies, with perhaps some lesbian notes and embellishments.