Kia Ora,

It would seem that most therapists never get to see the final outcome(the end result) ie, whether their therapy actually worked  for the patient...The final session normally ends the relationship...I wonder how frustrating it must be, not knowing if in the long run the therapy really did help...

I transitioned around 14 years ago and it was during therapy (at the time we were allowed 6 free therapy sessions with a gender specialist-I had 4 sessions over a six month period) I would have to say the therapist I saw was great, very supportive, positive, and encouraging, pointing out things that I couldn't see which more often than not boosted my confidence...

Around four and half years after going full time. I contacted her in order to get a letter supporting my upcoming surgery, she was happy to hear from me and that I was doing well....

So for those members who have transitioned...

Was therapy helpful ?
Did it help change your life ?
Have you been in contact ?
Or was it just a waste of time ?

Metta Anatta

My whole therapy experience boils down to 1 meeting that lasted 30 minutes. Was that useful ? Yes, of course, I come out with my letter for HRT ! LOL

Early on therapy was far more harmful than good. After about eight months, I finally found a therapist who was neither dishonest, clueless, or openly disparaging of trans people. By that time, I'd already planned my transition.

So I can't say my therapist helped much. I keep going because my insurance covers it and I don't know if I'm going to need it post-op, but I honestly can't say it helped much.

I was luck I had a great therisipt.

A good one is well worth there weight in happiness.

I paid out of pocket and network so the choice was mine.

Research, asking others who are post was the key.

Isabell

I lucked out I found a great therapist she has helped me a whole lot and she was the only support I had there for the first couple of months. It wasn't just gender issues I was dealing with she helped me with my social anxiety and helped me learn how to take up for myself. I owe her a lot and I enjoy showing her the progress I have made in the past year and a half.

The therapist I had for the start of my transition, I love her like a big sister. She had to move on but the last thing she got to do for me was give me my letter to get my ID changed to indicate I'm a female and that, struck me as very poetic.

I still see a therapist and I don't know when I'll be done with therapy. I keep getting too much out of it. I keep going to a gender specialist because as I deal with things like being an attractive transwoman it's nice to not have to be a teacher in my sessions too.

Quote from: peky on April 26, 2014, 05:07:14 PM
My whole therapy experience boils down to 1 meeting that lasted 30 minutes. Was that useful ? Yes, of course, I come out with my letter for HRT ! LOL

Kia Ora Peky,

It's interesting you should say this...My doctor was the one who first prescribed HRT (at a very low dosage) this was back in 1997/8 things were a bit more relaxed back then...She was not a 'therapist' as such, but after a couple of consultations she prescribe it...

It was quite some time after being on HRT that I actually saw a gender therapist and quite a bit of my therapy time was  dealing with coming out to my ex and children, and she was a great help...

I'm glad that your brief visit to a therapist was beneficial....

Metta Anatta

I found my therapist really handy in the early parts of transition.. And not just for writing letters. He's had handy tips and ideas all along.

I consider my transition done at this point, but I still see him a couple of times a year, just to touch base and deal with the little things that come up - my partner passing away last year was just such an event.

I would say my therapist saved my life.  I went from semi-suicidal and having periods of denial to happy and full time in three months.

I no longer see her. 

I would absolutely recommend her to anyone with trans issues.

Quote from: suzifrommd on April 26, 2014, 05:23:44 PM
Early on therapy was far more harmful than good. After about eight months, I finally found a therapist who was neither dishonest, clueless, or openly disparaging of trans people. By that time, I'd already planned my transition.

So I can't say my therapist helped much. I keep going because my insurance covers it and I don't know if I'm going to need it post-op, but I honestly can't say it helped much.

Kia Ora Suzi,

Just out  of interest...If it's not helping in any way, why do you continue with it ? Wouldn't it be more detrimental to you, if your therapist isn't supportive ?

Metta Anatta

Quote from: Misato on April 26, 2014, 07:29:42 PM
The therapist I had for the start of my transition, I love her like a big sister. She had to move on but the last thing she got to do for me was give me my letter to get my ID changed to indicate I'm a female and that, struck me as very poetic.

I still see a therapist and I don't know when I'll be done with therapy. I keep getting too much out of it. I keep going to a gender specialist because as I deal with things like being an attractive transwoman it's nice to not have to be a teacher in my sessions too.

Kia Ora Misato,

Be careful, you don't want to become too dependant on therapy if you can help it...

However, I can see that having a good therapist is like having a good/close friend to talk to...I guess for many their therapists do become friends-even though they are in a sense paying for their time/friendship...

Metta Anatta

Quote from: Anatta on April 26, 2014, 08:49:50 PM
Kia Ora Misato,

Be careful, you don't want to become too dependant on therapy if you can help it...

However, I can see that having a good therapist is like having a good/close friend to talk to...I guess for many their therapists do become friends-even though they are in a sense paying for their time/friendship...

Metta Anatta

Oh the cost does way on my mind and pocketbook. My dad has had someone since like 1989 so continuing to go only ever struck me as normal. I still hear your advice, only my SO and I also hear all my justifications to continue that we find quite compelling. But I'll work on em. And the graduation day will come.

And now I've gone and gotten myself all paranoid. I didn't see my alcohol abuse and codependency, so now I just don't trust my mental health picture of myself. That mistrust strikes me as a good reason to keep at it as something to work on...

This is like a snake eating it's own tail problem I got here and I ain't being funny. :/ I don't trust my mental health picture so I think I need therapy. But I don't trust my mental health picture so, do I need therapy?

I'm going to stop here cause that's not feeling good...

Quote from: Misato on April 26, 2014, 10:23:35 PM
And now I've gone and gotten myself all paranoid. I didn't see my alcohol abuse and codependency, so now I just don't trust my mental health picture of myself. That mistrust strikes me as a good reason to keep at it as something to work on...

This is like a snake eating it's own tail problem I got here and I ain't being funny. :/ I don't trust my mental health picture so I think I need therapy. But I don't trust my mental health picture so, do I need therapy?

I'm going to stop here cause that's not feeling good...

Kia Ora Misato,

My apologies...If your therapy is for gender dysphoria plus other issues that relate to it, then please don't let my remark dissuade you. It sounds like it's quite important for you to continue ...

My remark was based on when some people becomes too dependant on therapy, for every aspect of their lives, in other words they believe that their life evolves around the therapist's couch...

In your case it sounds like you still have some issues that need therapy time to be resolved...Sorry for causing paranoia....

Metta Anatta

Without my therapist Id be nowhere near where I am now, she played an important role in my transition and I am eternally grateful for that. Also how else would you get a prescription for HRT if there isn't a therapist? And she was the one who had talked to me when I was about to go for my SRS, she also made things better with me and my mum and now I'm closer than to mother than I have ever been.

Quote from: Anatta on April 26, 2014, 11:17:42 PM
Kia Ora Misato,

My apologies...If your therapy is for gender dysphoria plus other issues that relate to it, then please don't let my remark dissuade you. It sounds like it's quite important for you to continue ...

My remark was based on when some people becomes too dependant on therapy, for every aspect of their lives, in other words they believe that their life evolves around the therapist's couch...

In your case it sounds like you still have some issues that need therapy time to be resolved...Sorry for causing paranoia....

Metta Anatta

Just wanted to let you know I'm feeling better this morning. Same issues exist, but the over analysis has abated with sleep. I'll still be getting that help all right but you raised an interesting question to tackle which I do appreciate.

Quote from: Misato on April 27, 2014, 08:19:30 AM
Just wanted to let you know I'm feeling better this morning. Same issues exist, but the over analysis has abated with sleep. I'll still be getting that help all right but you raised an interesting question to tackle which I do appreciate.

Kia Ora Misato,

That's good(and thank you)...I'm glad there was no long term negative impact regarding my remark....

Metta Anatta

Well my actual gender therapist wasn't helpful, but that was mostly because of me. I knew I was trans and I already researched what to expect from transition for years. I was an open-shut case, as far as anyone was concerned, he just needed to see me so that we met the HBS guidelines.

I did however see a counsellor later on, prior to starting hormone treatment, for reasons unrelated to transition. But she was helpful in increasing my self-esteem, and talking with her gave me some skills which helped me to confront my family about starting hormones and also about respecting my decision.

I never had a "gender therapist" - there wasn't such a thing in the 1960s!

At age 15 my mother took me to a shrink who pronounced me homosexual and offered to put me on testosterone (involuntarily!) to "make a man of me". I was even threatened with being institutionalized for my 'delusion' that I was/should have been a girl. That scared me so much that I never  went back!

At age 21 my doctor sent me for a "psychological assessment" which would have been a prerequisite for any possible surgery (even though surgery wasn't yet available).

After SRS at age 24, I never saw a psychological professional until my 50s when I went for help with PTSD and childhood abuse. That was far more beneficial than any other treatment I had received.

I saw a therapist for some time about depression and anxiety problems.  When I started thinking about transition we talked about that as well.  I wouldn't really call that gender counseling though.  By the time I got to see the psychiatrist who acted as gatekeeper for the gender hospital I had already transitioned and nobody offered gender therapy.